It’s another round of Ask Katie Anything.
Our very own Katie Couric feels especially connected to the subscribers of our Wake-Up Call newsletter — so connected, in fact, that she wanted to personally help with some of their current life concerns.
We asked our readers to write in with the big questions they’d like advice about, and today Katie’s responding to a moving submission from someone struggling with grief. Losing a loved one is, unfortunately, something Katie knows plenty about, so she was eager to share how she worked past the mourning period and discovered ways to fall in love with life again.
Dear Katie,
I lost my soulmate five years ago, and even with all the advice people offer about coping, it remains in your heart forever. How were you able to move forward? I realize finding new love can make you happy. I never knew what loneliness was until this past year. Any advice?
-Grace
Dear Grace,
First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss. The emptiness can be unbearable, and the loneliness that you mention is overwhelming.
My best advice is two-fold. Find hobbies, friends, and passions that you can focus on. A life of purpose is the key. What do you love to do? What do you care about? Could you volunteer for an organization you feel good about? Could you plan and take some fun weekend trips with friends?
The second piece of advice is to stay busy. I remember when my husband Jay died, even though my girls were little, staying home on a Saturday night after they went to bed was just so lonely and depressing.
And finally — I know, I said it was two-fold, but there’s one more — you may want to dip your toe in the dating pool. Not necessarily to find love (although that is possible!), but to have some companionship and meet new people. Those people have a separate social circle and could introduce you to a new group of friends.
Good luck, and please let me know how you’re doing! Sending you a big hug!
-Katie
To help with implementing Katie’s caring advice, we rounded up some further reading that’ll give you a strong start on her suggestions.
5 Things You Should Know About Grief
As Katie wrote above, the feelings of emptiness and loneliness that come with losing a loved one are often debilitating — and they can last quite a while. According to Mary-Frances O’Connor, author of The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss, understanding what happens to our mind during the mourning process is essential to helping us move through it and rediscover our passion for life. Read on for more about how grief affects the way we think.
How You Can Help Yourself By Helping Others
Katie suggested giving back to your community as a way of moving forward in grief, and we love this advice from the founder of a nonprofit about why volunteering enriches our lives.
The 10 Best Beach Getaways Near the U.S.
Katie’s right that travel — a hobby so enriching to the soul — can be a helpful way to get outside of the heavy feelings weighing you down. If you’re up for her idea about taking a weekend trip with friends, these exotic destinations you can reach by plane in less than five hours are guaranteed to be a blast. If you’re more eager for some alone time than being with a group, we’ve also got advice about how to make a solo trip as rewarding as possible. And no matter where you’re going or who you’re with, Katie’s travel must-haves and our guide to a comfortable flight will make getting there a breeze.
Katie’s Top 5 Dating Tips
Katie’s final suggestion — getting back into the dating pool — may seem daunting right now, but it’s a lot more approachable than you might think. Always an open book, Katie’s sharing five things that helped her navigate the dating world when she was ready to meet someone after grieving the lost of her first husband, Jay. But, as she notes above, these tips can work just as well for simply meeting new people and building exciting relationships.
