A mental health check-in might be missing.
Life is full of preparatory steps: We warm up a cold car before we drive. We preheat the oven before we cook. We wind up before we throw a ball. Yet, for some reason, we can be pretty careless when it comes to goal setting — especially our loaded new year’s resolutions. Often, we set our sights on a target and set out to reach it without preparing ourselves mentally and emotionally.
While we can argue all day about the toxicity of these annual ambitions as a whole, you might feel a natural urge to set some sort of objective as you enter 2024. If you do, there’s one step you can take to support the follow-through of any goal: a mental health check-in. According to Akua K. Boateng, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist based in Philadelphia, a mental health self-assessment is a “basic analysis of how we’re doing emotionally and mentally.”
While you might be wondering what mental health has to do with your goal of reading more or learning to knit, this simple step can set you up for success and help you avoid concocting far-fetched and/or harmful ideals. A healthy way to approach new year’s resolutions is resolving to be more in touch with yourself mentally, which is sort of like a warm-up for achieving any goal. I spoke to therapists about how checking in with yourself at the start of the year, and making it a regular habit, can help you move forward in a way that feels purposeful.
Why new year’s resolutions don’t work
Without assessing our psychological needs, we can easily fall into the trap of setting resolutions that are too ambitious. While it may seem like the point of resolutions is to reach for the stars, that might not be the best approach in practice. “By aiming higher than what you’re ready for, you might be setting yourself up for failure,” Elizabeth Fedrick, Ph.D., LPC, owner of Evolve Counseling and Behavioral Health Services in Phoenix, tells Katie Couric Media. Instead of ditching resolutions altogether, we just need to strive to set intentions that aren’t based on some superficial ideal or arbitrary timeline — like getting that “perfect beach body” by summer without considering whether that’s healthy or realistic for you, or how you’ll achieve it.
Figuring out why you want to achieve a goal can help you prepare for setbacks. In my experience providing individual and group therapy, I encourage clients to explore whether the intention behind their resolutions is aligned with their values. An example of a mismatch between intention and values is joining a book club when you don’t enjoy reading or trying to get a raise when you don’t like your job. In the latter case, you might be better off exploring what gives you career satisfaction rather than focusing on a raise or a promotion that might not make you any happier at work.
Also, planning a year in advance is just plain unrealistic. You’ve probably noticed how abnormally packed the gym is during the first week of January. That’s because our motivation peaks at the thought of a clean slate, but it tends to decline if we don’t see results right away or don’t have control of the outcome. When you resolved to “save more money,” did you think about how you’d get there? Did you consider that you’d have to ask for a raise to make more money to save, and that would require more output at your job? And, are you ready and willing to do that? A mental health check-in would have helped you figure that out.
Sometimes, life simply gets in the way; perhaps a loved one falls ill and now those cooking classes are the last thing on your mind. Other times, resolutions fail because we struggle with low self-esteem and engage in self-sabotaging behaviors like procrastinating or striving for perfection.
“We’re more likely to follow through with a goal when it involves improving skills that we already possess than when the goal entails tackling a brand new challenge,” says Dr. Boateng. For example, if you’re a budding runner, completing a 5K run this year is more realistic than running a marathon.
How to do a mental health self-assessment
When our resolutions don’t have a lot of purpose or planning behind them, it’s easy for them to veer off track. We say we’re going to lose 10 pounds without asking ourselves if that’s healthy, or, a question I’ve asked clients, what will actually change in our life once we’ve achieved this goal. We mean well by making resolutions but they tend to be based on societal norms or trends, instead of catered to our own wants and needs. You can avoid that by checking in with yourself first.
When doing a mental health self-assessment, reflect on “occasions when you’ve experienced symptoms of depression, anxiety, or high levels of stress, as well as times when you have felt your best,” says Dr. Fedrick. She suggests using a journal to record your responses to the following questions:
- How many times a week do I struggle with my mood and daily functioning?
- What usually prompts an increase in depressive symptoms?
- What usually prompts an increase in anxiety?
- Have I been experiencing symptoms of anxiety and/or depression more often than not? If so, for how long?
- Do I feel content with my life currently?
- When I think of what brings me joy, how often do I participate in these activities?
- How often do I engage in self-care?
It’s also beneficial to keep track of your mood and how it’s affecting other aspects of your life. You can try using scaling questions like the following:
- How much are my mood states impacting my daily functioning?
- How much are my mood states impacting my relationships?
- How much are my mood states impacting my career?
- How much are my mood states impacting my goals?
We know, this list is a little overwhelming. Checking in on your mental health might feel strange at first if it’s not something you do normally. One way to ease into it is to get a baseline for your emotions. Ask yourself how you’re feeling at this moment. Think about “the challenges you’re facing and what support you have in place to address those challenges,” says Dr. Boateng.
How often should you do a self-assessment?
The purpose of checking in with yourself is to increase self-awareness and self-exploration. However often you choose to do this, a self-assessment can help you “address concerns in a timely manner and prevent mood fluctuations from impeding upon your daily functioning, relationships, and goals,” says Dr. Fedrick.
Since your mood can fluctuate over time and even throughout the day, it’s important to check in with yourself as much as possible. Yes, that’s sort of contradictory to what we were saying earlier: If you’ve never done something, setting a goal to do it regularly in the new year is a bit ambitious. So, start by doing this once as a way to usher in a new year.
Of course, you’ll have more success meeting goals if you make this a habit. “Track your mood daily in the morning, afternoon, and evening, as well as noting possible causes for declines in mood states and spikes in stress, anxiety, and/or depressive symptoms,” says Dr. Fedrick. If daily check-ins seem too onerous, try doing a self-assessment on a monthly or quarterly basis, says Dr. Boateng. This will not only help you track your progress on those resolutions and help you figure out if you need to adjust them (which there’s nothing wrong with!) but it will also improve your ability to regulate your emotions (by taking some deep breaths, for instance) so you can face unexpected roadblocks with greater confidence and self-esteem.
I’ve done a self-assessment, now what?
Get ready to get to know yourself on a whole new level — and if that sounds like something you’d rather avoid, you’re not alone. I know from working with clients that self-awareness can feel like a double-edged sword. You might feel distressed thinking about negative parts of your life. That’s absolutely normal, and if that comes up, it might be time to seek external assistance.
“It’s crucial to keep in mind that you cannot self-diagnose mental health issues,” says Dr. Fedrick. Self-assessments do not replace mental health treatment or seeing a doctor regularly. “If you have concerns for your overall mental health, it’s essential to seek help from a professional to get the necessary support and guidance on addressing those concerns,” adds Dr. Fedrick.
As Dr. Boateng explains, new year’s resolutions can fizzle out “when you aren’t able to change a fundamental part of yourself in order to accomplish a goal.” Unlike resolutions, which are oriented toward changing something about yourself or your life, mental health self-assessments are based on the idea that change is already happening. Engaging in honest self-reflection about how you’re really doing is a sign of growth, especially at a time when you’re being bombarded with messages like “new year, new me.”
Clearly, resolutions represent a certain level of optimism and hopefulness — it’s why we keep making them. But paying more attention to your mental health can help clear out some of the clutter that’s keeping you from reaching them.
The information provided on this site isn’t intended as medical advice, and shouldn’t replace professional medical treatment. Consult your doctor with any serious health concerns.
