Getting There

Struggling with Confidence? Bethenny Frankel Has a Few Pointers

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The reality TV star gets vulnerable about trauma, thriving in male-dominated industries, and trusting her intuition.

In her memoir Going There, Katie gives behind-the-scenes insights into her iconic career — but she also ruminates on the ups and downs of her personal life. She delves into detail, explaining how she moved up the media ladder, and how family, friendship, and romance contributed to her success.

If you were grateful for Katie’s reflections on achieving serious professional advancement (and, since we’re all human, occasional failure) while also dealing with love and loss, we’ve got more where that came from. For those of you who love to read about how the best and brightest in their fields have gotten where they are today, Katie started her video series Getting There. In each video, Katie spends the day with a successful woman to learn how she got to where she is and the advice she has for others. Each interview is a blend of solid career advice and a candid look into the silly, funny, sometimes upsetting parts of life that they navigate as they achieve their dreams.

KCM originally whipped up these because we love learning about how successful women grapple with challenges to become their best selves. And since we all need a little extra inspiration these days, we wanted to remind you all that overcoming adversity can be its own reward.

On deck is business mogul and reality TV vet Bethenny Frankel. You probably know her for her explosive Bravo fame, but she’s a bonafide jack-of-all-trades. Frankel is the founder of Skinnygirl, a low-calorie cocktail line turned total lifestyle brand; they now sell everything from jam to jeans. Plus, Frankel is the New York Times bestselling author of several popular page-turners, including the upcoming Business is Personal: The Truth About What it Takes to Be Successful While Staying True to Yourself. And somehow she finds room in her schedule to host the JustB Podcast and run her charity BStrong, which provides emergency disaster relief to people in crisis. We’re not sure how she can keep irons in so many fires, but we’re happy she took the time to chat with Katie about entrepreneurship, overcoming a rocky childhood, and learning to build confidence.

Katie Couric: How did you get the idea for Skinnygirl?

Bethenny Frankel: Well, I didn’t have an idea for a company. I just wanted a cocktail that I could drink that didn’t make me feel terrible the next day. Something that wasn’t overly sugary. So on my show, Housewives, Luann and I were having drinks and she asked, “You’re drinking tequila?” I said, “It’s a skinny girl’s margarita.” Andy Cohen asked me at the reunion, “What’s in a skinny girl’s margarita?” I said, “A strong silver on the rocks, four limes, and a tiny splash of Cointreau.” So I thought, how do I monetize this?

What was the most challenging part of starting a business?

It’s a male business. At that time, liquor was marketed to men by men. I didn’t know that, though — I didn’t spend time in liquor stores looking around at products. I just had this idea and I felt it inside.

Tell me about your childhood.

I don’t remember exactly when my mother and father split up, but my mother had to move back to New York because she couldn’t afford to take care of me. I remember it being very traumatic. I was around alcoholism, eating disorders, gambling, and lots of abuse. I would call the police. There was a lot of stuff in my house that was negative. It’s not the life that I would want for my daughter.

That sounds really challenging. But was there anything about it that helped you become the person you are?

I’m good in most situations. I’m very good on my feet. I’m very adaptable. It could have gone so many ways. I was still in my late 30s and had no money and really I wasn’t on a path to any specific career, but I always was open to opportunities. I always did everything to the best of my ability, whatever it was.

You now are doing other Skinnygirl stuff. You’re doing Skinnygirl jeans, right?

The brand is now extending into many categories and denim is a massive category.

What’s the best advice you ever got?

Ellen DeGeneres said, “You will keep making the same mistake until you learn the lesson.”

I think a lot of women don’t have the confidence that you have. What would you tell them to do?

I think you have to get on the road and do one thing well. Then, you have the confidence. It’s like cooking: If you pull off a dish by putting things together, you get a little confidence. Then you think, “All right, I’m going to make something else.”

Your charity, BStrong, has done phenomenal things. How did you come up with the idea for that?

It evolved like everything else. It wasn’t a grand plan. It was supposed to be something for women and their families in crisis. When the Texas hurricanes hit, I thought, Well, this is a crisis. Then Puerto Rico was a big event. This man I was dating said, “You can’t go there. There’s no running water. There’s no electricity.” I thought, Well, that’s why you have to go there.

What’s next for you?

I play as I go. I don’t have a big grand plan, but it’s worked out pretty well because I do what I love. If I don’t like it, I don’t want to do it.