Are you watching along, or can’t Spare the time?
Anyone else feel like they’re watching The Harry Show this week? I’ve seen Prince Harry’s Netflix docuseries, the 60 Minutes interview, the Michael Strahan interview, and the Stephen Colbert interview; read endless reviews; and, yes, seen the tweets about his blockbuster memoir Spare. I’ve been fascinated by the reaction from friends and strangers alike. So I asked some opinionated writers to weigh in. Are they just wild about Harry? Read their takes here.
Ellen Gainsford was born in the UK and is now based in New York. She’s a broadcast journalist with nearly a decade of experience in international television news. And as a journalist, she’s pretty dang familiar with the concept of spin — and the many ways to tell a story. Here, Ellen talks about being inundated by the coverage of Harry’s memoir, and the passages from the book she’d love to forget having read:
As a new British transplant across the Atlantic myself, I have found a role as an amateur monarchy-explainer for my American friends. Like it or not, when many people hear my accent, the first topic they want to discuss is the royal family. So even before the publication of Spare, I was beginning to feel some serious Harry and Meghan fatigue.
While it’s perhaps understandable that the couple would want to reclaim the narrative and “tell their side of the story,” they have now franchised their tale into a book, a podcast, a Netflix series, and endless interviews. I’m half-expecting the announcement of a Broadway musical any day now. As is the case for anyone with access to the internet, I felt like I’d unwittingly digested much of Spare before it had even been released. It has been impossible to escape.
Prince Harry’s verbal diarrhea marks the most extreme break in royal protocol since the ’90s, when Princess Diana bared her soul to Martin Bashir about her divorce. Harry would’ve done well to glean some lessons from her experience: Diana was manipulated into giving away personal secrets which came subsequently to define her public image. Similarly for Prince Harry, there will be no going back from this book. Harsh words are harder to forget when they’re immortalized in print.
Like many British millennials, I gave little thought to the monarchy until Netflix released The Crown. The royals were background noise, peculiar novelties who would pop up every now and then to have their photos taken snipping a ribbon. The only time we heard the Queen speak was at Christmas and her speeches were reassuringly bland: the personal didn’t encroach on the public. The royal family’s unofficial public relations motto is “never complain, never explain,” making them a very different breed to today’s Kim Kardashian style of tell-all celebrity. But Prince Harry failed to understand that this mystique is an integral part of the family’s appeal. They’re figureheads for a centuries-old institution — we don’t want to be told what they had for breakfast.
The recent onslaught has been, as you Americans say, too much information. I did not need to know that Prince Harry had a frostbitten penis at his brother’s wedding, nor how he lost his virginity to an older woman who subsequently slapped his bum. Other offerings from his memoir have been truly distasteful: mentioning a kill count from his tours in Afghanistan was unnecessary and insensitive, and he has been rightly criticized for it.
By airing so much dirty laundry in public, he’s diluting his valid criticisms of the British press and opened himself up to accusations of hypocrisy. Prince Harry’s obsession with the tabloids and hatred of paparazzi is entirely reasonable — they arguably caused his mother’s death. While the British press’ treatment of his wife Meghan has often been vile. But his legitimate arguments about racism and sexism in the tabloids are lost amid all the oversharing. By including titillating passages about his “todger,” he’s playing the papers at their own game, not rising above the scrum.
While Prince Harry bravely writes about losing his mother and shares his difficulty grieving as a child, the book is peppered with potshots at other members of his family. His indignation that they have been “briefing the press” against him rings hollow when it’s written in a salacious tell-all. His desire for privacy for his family clearly wasn’t strong enough to turn down the reported $165 million check he’ll be receiving off the back of these combined projects.
Much of the book is given to Harry’s grumblings over his position as second in line, or “spare” to the throne, a problem that’s hard to shed tears for. I lost sympathy for Harry when he started whining about having a smaller bedroom than his brother as a child (it was still, after all, a room in a palace. He often seems unaware of his extraordinary privilege: His jabs at “Willy,” as he calls Prince William, are particularly petty, notably over his brother’s baldness. Sibling rivalry is a universal issue, but few of us go so far as to put down our feelings in print. As in many family arguments, Prince Harry seems to be desperately fighting to have the last word, at any cost.
Prior to the memoir, Harry and Meghan had arguably already won America — or at least won more airtime than the rest of the royal family. By contrast, a recent visit by William and Kate to Boston took place, to widespread indifference. But even in the U.S.’ celebrity-soaked culture, many are now saying they’ve heard enough from the Sussexes. With media from U.S. Vogue to The New York Times questioning if it all amounts to overkill and overexposure, the royals may have done more harm than good to their personal brand.
Harry and Meghan’s story was their currency. Now that they’ve laid out all their cards so brazenly on the table, their next moves are limited. Whether the book causes irreparable damage to their family relationships will be decided when the dust falls. In the meantime, he’s shone a glaring spotlight on an antiquated institution, with some commentators even calling it “the beginning of the end of the monarchy.” As for myself, while Harry-hysteria still firmly grips the headlines, I’m left translating words like “biro,” “todger” and “fancy dress” to Yanks who are puzzling over the book’s Britishisms — and hoping he’ll spare us all a sequel.
Royal Commentator Victoria Arbiter has accumulated a whole lot of insider knowledge and expert analysis on the British royal family, thanks to a career that spans both sides of the Atlantic. The author of Queen Elizabeth II: Pocket Giants and a weekly columnist for Australia’s 9Honey (where this piece originally ran), she covered the Prince and Princess of Wales’s wedding for CBS News in 2011 with me! Here, she ruminates on the holes in Harry’s arguments about the conflict with his famous family:
Despite implementing stringent security measures said to rival those surrounding the final installment of the Harry Potter series in 2007, leaked excerpts from Prince Harry’s book, Spare, were dominating headlines across the globe days before it officially hit bookshelves on Jan. 10. Though myriad reports suggested arrangements for its release were being “managed in minute detail,” a U.S.-based writer for The Guardian managed to obtain a copy in advance. Within hours, Page Six stated it, too, had acquired portions of the text, and on Thursday morning — a full five days ahead of its intended publication — copies “accidentally” went on sale in Spain. In the following days, virtually every British outlet printed a running commentary of its explosive contents, and Sky News even launched a live blog.
Having gone to great lengths to ensure the memoir was published simultaneously around the world, Penguin Random House declined to provide the press with copies for review. Nonetheless, in the space of just a few hours, and without a penny spent, readers were able to learn more about Prince Harry than perhaps they might have wished. From tales of how he lost his virginity to his experiences with cocaine, his desire to converse with his dead mother and a detailed breakdown of an altercation with his brother, no subject is off-limits. Harry doesn’t hold back in the decidedly one-sided account, and his deeply personal disclosures make for uncomfortable reading. Dripping with jealousy and resentment, his narrative represents the ultimate betrayal, and it’s difficult to see how the relationship with his family can ever be repaired. Most would likely agree that he has every right to tell his story, but sharing his version of events and trashing his loved ones on a global scale are two very different things. Speaking to Tom Bradby, Harry touched on the possibility of attending his father’s coronation. “The door is always open,” he said, but little does he realize he’s the one who slammed it shut.
For close to two decades, Harry has complained about the media’s incessant interest in his life. In his interview with ITV, he references “the leaking” and “the planting” by the Palace as further evidence of the institution’s determination to portray him as the villain — and ironically, he does so without an ounce of self-reflection. Whether or not the Palace has planted stories, I couldn’t say, but Harry has frequently employed the tactics he’s so quick to deride. During Meghan’s case against the Mail on Sunday, it was revealed that the Sussexes had authorized their Communications Secretary to brief the authors of Finding Freedom. Likewise, their legal team was chastised by Justice Warby for leaking details pertinent to their case. After their interview with Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King offered guidance that could have only come from Harry, and Omid Scobie implied on his podcast for ABC News that the Prince would continue to drip-feed information until his concerns were addressed. Rather than acknowledging the role he might have played, Harry’s refused to take accountability for his actions and he’s consistently blamed everyone but himself.
Claiming his family has “shown absolutely no willingness to reconcile,” Harry says he’d like to get his father and his brother back, but his recent choices suggest otherwise. In the last few weeks alone, he’s contributed to a six-part docuseries for Netflix, agreed to four televised interviews to publicize his book, and doubled down on the accusations he’s previously leveled against “The Firm.” By contrast, his sad and weary family has extended multiple olive branches. In April 2021, Harry was invited to attend his grandfather’s funeral despite the fact his sit-down with Oprah Winfrey had aired the month before. Later, he joined Prince William to unveil a statue of their mother, and in a rare essay for Newsweek his father praised his conservation efforts. While Harry elected to forgo the Duke of Edinburgh’s memorial, he and Meghan met with the Queen, Charles, and Camilla the following month, and they were included in the festivities planned for the monarch’s Platinum Jubilee. Noticeably absent from the Platinum Party at the Palace, the couple returned to the U.S. prior to the conclusion of events. After turning down requests to visit the royals in Scotland over the summer, they were involved in the late Queen’s funeral, and the new Prince of Wales included them in a walkabout outside Windsor Castle. Contrary to his book, the opportunities were there, but Prince Harry seemingly believes his family hasn’t done enough.
In 1994, Prince Charles, as he was then, consented to a wide-ranging interview with British broadcaster Jonathan Dimbleby. The finished program, Charles: The Private Man, The Public Role, was filmed to celebrate the 25th anniversary of his investiture as Prince of Wales. It’s more commonly remembered, however, for his confession of adultery. When asked if he’d been “faithful and honorable” to his wife, he replied, “Yes,” before adding, “Until [the marriage] became irretrievably broken down.” Though he didn’t intend to admit to his relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles, he was advised to do so on the basis that it would garner public sympathy. Sir Max Hastings, the former editor of the Daily Telegraph, said, “Somebody convinced him, ‘Look, Sir, this is going to come out sooner or later, wouldn’t it be better if it comes out in a sympathetic form, in sympathetic hands’ … And he fell for it.” Needless to say, his remarks backfired spectacularly, and condemnation was swift. A poor decision on his part, he hoped to gain acceptance, present his side of the story, identify with others and further humanize himself, but it was a foolish gamble — and one he’s paid for ever since. Pursuing a similar objective, his youngest son has made the same mistake 29 years on.
Last Sunday marked three years since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced their plans to step back from royal life. Not only did they leave with the late Queen’s blessing, they left with an abundance of goodwill from an adoring British public. As they rode off into the sunset, the Sussexes were in a strong position, and yet they’ve dedicated the majority of their time to exacting their revenge. Writing of his early drug use, Harry said he was “willing to try almost anything to upset the established order.” Some might argue he still is, but by selling out his family, he’s severed the last vestiges of trust.
Where he goes from here is impossible to predict, but either way, the status quo remains the same. His father’s still the King, his brother’s still the heir, and with his 9-year-old nephew waiting in the wings, Harry’s days as the spare are done. “Please boys, don’t make my final years a misery,” the King allegedly pleaded with his sons. While one has taken his father’s words to heart, the other has shown he simply doesn’t care.
Stephanie Krikorian is a New York Times bestselling ghostwriter, Emmy-nominated producer, and a contributing writer for Vanity Fair. Her work has also appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Post, and O, the Oprah Magazine. Her book, Zen Bender, made Yahoo! Finance’s Best Business Books of 2019. Here, she argues in favor of digging into Spare, and explains what makes this tell-all so all-out irresistible:
With no shame, I say that when it comes to Prince Harry and his delicious millennial oversharing, I’m all in. I simply can’t get enough.
Keep in mind as you read my case for devouring the prince’s memoir, Spare: I’m not a totally unbiased source. Growing up in Canada, we sang God Save the Queen as well as O Canada at school and I subscribed to both Royalty and Majesty magazines. I was first in line to view Diana’s dress exhibit, and more recently, I may or may not have spent my hard-earned cash on a book of Harry and Meghan cutout dolls to take to the early morning champagne breakfast I attended to watch their wedding (remind me of this ridiculous purchase when I can’t afford to retire). Then there’s The Crown: I binge each season within 48 hours of its release. Maybe 36. I consumed Netflix’s six-hour Harry & Meghan docu-series in, well, six hours. I’ve watched every Harry interview: Stephen Colbert’s, Michael Strahan’s, and Anderson Cooper’s 60 Minutes one (which I devoured twice), and read so many reviews I can confidently recite sections of the book. I pre-ordered Spare as soon as it was possible.
Despite my overt royal enthusiasm, Harry’s story of loss and love moves me. There was a moment when Cooper asked him if he watched the video of his mother’s funeral, at which he and his brother walked behind her coffin. He said he had and that he thinks it was bizarre that they were smiling. This motherless, shattered kid we watched grow up…forced to smile and hide his feelings. It was a confounding moment then and now.
Plus, being that I’m basically a professional royal watcher, I believe him. I believe he got the brunt of the horse-trading among his family’s press offices and the tabloids were unfairly cruel to his wife. I believe he feared Meghan would suffer the same fate as his mother, Princess Diana. I believe he and Meghan are indeed in love. Mostly, I believe the truth he believes is the truth — his truth. While potentially shortsighted, if writing this book was cathartic for him, I say, have at it.
It’s an extension of the story you’ve been glued to for decades (aka you watched the Friends reunion, so why not this?)
In many ways, Spare is the continuation of the endlessly captivating and tragic story of Princess Diana, told from the insider’s perspective we’ve all been waiting for. How can we not finish this race? You wouldn’t miss a Real Housewives reunion after slogging through a season of petty, Botox-infused bickering, would you? So why, after waking up at ungodly hours to watch Prince Charles marry Lady Diana, the heartbreaking funeral, the weddings of both Prince William, Prince Harry, and the Queen’s Jubilee and funeral — wouldn’t you hang in for the rest of this sordid, heartwarming, at times anger-fueled, unquestionably juicy, and utterly captivating royal sequel?
Two things can be true at once
It can be both a colossally terrible idea for him to do this book and spill so many royal beans, while at the same time being totally fair, after clearly being well-therapized, to want to tell his side of the story, unfiltered and without the middleman — aka the tabloids — mucking it up.
You can both hate-read Spare and savor every last word of it.
You can question why you need to know so much about Harry’s…umm…royal jewels (affectionately referred to as his “todger”) and be totally there for that and his awkward description of losing his virginity…getting his rump smacked and mounting the older woman he lost it to not unlike a young stallion. Whaaat!?
Meghan can be annoying, hypocritical, and difficult to believe, and she can also be the victim of racist, misogynistic, unacceptable hatred from the press.
We can both want Harry and Meghan to stop talking, stop contradicting themselves by talking so much, and seek the privacy they claim to be so desperate for, and also hope and pray they just keep delivering the goods.
Spare can, as the BBC put it, be the “The Longest Angry Drunk Text Ever Sent” and still be super satisfying for royal junkies.
Great storytelling and writing
At times as I read, I feel the heavy hand of Harry’s ghostwriter, the Pulitzer Prize-winning J.R. Moehringer, which reminds me that at the very least, we’re in for a solid read. (Nothing worse than cringing one’s way through a celebrity memoir.) Moehringer penned Andre Agassi’s Open, the gold standard for well-crafted memoirs. Starting Spare at Frogmore, Harry trying to negotiate a peace treaty of sorts with Pa and Willy, is genius framing, and a clever, foreboding start.
Plus, there were a boatload of misleading leaks (shocker!) leading up to publication day, and one people hovered over was Harry mocking Willy’s baldness, which felt unfairly criticized. Objectors thought it was petty. In context, I found that paragraph simultaneously endearing, an indication of his conflicted feelings toward his brother, and strangely relatable. That passage felt sincere, and more self-reflective than critical. Plus, on more than one occasion, I have told my sister her hair looked like a Chia Pet.
People have strong opinions
When I posted about my enthusiasm for this book on the socials, I quickly received an onslaught of strongly worded DMs. The haters, strangers, and friends alike messaged me to say that Harry is a dickhead, spoiled, a liar, a traitor, and damaged, as well as some other names better not repeated here. And since there’s absolutely nothing else to talk about these days, I polled almost every person I interacted with IRL to see if they were reading. I got some interesting answers. “I really want to like him,” one person told me. A younger-than-me person I know said she had no interest in the royals until Harry and Meg came onto the scene and views this as an introduction to the life of Diana for people who didn’t live through it — a historic look back. One friend said she wouldn’t spend a dime on this treasonous book, that I’d have to read my copy to her (happily), then buckled and bought it immediately following the 60 Minutes interview. Conviction is flexible.
Spare is reportedly part of a mega-million-dollar, multi-book deal that paid off on pub date by shattering records. It was reported that 1.4 million copies had been sold by the end of day one. I’m fine with them making all the money the market will yield. Give the people what they want. I’m not necessarily advocating you read his next few books. This is potentially an unduplicatable perfect mix of ingredients: Princess Diana, a previously undiscussed royal upbringing, whining, palace intrigue, grief, love, gossip, sibling rivalry, and raw unfiltered bitterness. But I’m also not saying I won’t be back here in a year making my case again.
