Elevate your game and turn connections into opportunities.
At some point in your career, you’ve probably been lectured on the importance of “networking.” (And if you haven’t, which cubicle have you been hiding inside?) The term gained prominence in the late ’70s and early ’80s when Baby Boomers first entered the workforce — back when making connections primarily happened in person or over the phone. Fast forward to today’s digital landscape, where introductions happen over email and allegiances are forged within Instagram DMs. It all means that building new professional relationships today demands an entirely different skill set than in yesteryear.
According to an experiment published by the Harvard Business Review in 2022, it’s not your family, close friends, or acquaintances who typically play a key role in helping you secure a job. Instead, that’s often thanks to your “weak ties” — those you’ve connected with and share something in common with, but aren’t super close to.
Denise Hamilton, a national career expert, author of Indivisible, and the CEO and founder of WatchHerWork.com, agrees that networking is critical to your professional success — but that some strategies are much more effective than others. One of her biggest tips? When you reach out to people, be transparent and direct about why you’re connecting. If you want a response, says Hamilton, “reduce your ask and make it simple, succinct, and super clear.”
We asked the self-proclaimed “work futurist” for her take on modern-day networking, how to score a pivotal meeting with someone you admire, and for examples of messages you can use to reach out to people you’ve worked with in the past — and connect with those you’ve never crossed paths with.
Katie Couric Media: What impact did the pandemic have on our networks and how do you think individuals can navigate and strengthen their connections in this evolving landscape?
Denise Hamilton: COVID significantly disrupted many social networks. We lost touch with a ton of people we’ve worked with in the past, so I genuinely feel the first step you should take is to reinvigorate the connections within your old networks. Are you touching base with those colleagues? Are you interacting with their posts on LinkedIn? Shore up what you have, before you think about your new relationships. I find that we’ve planted all these seeds, but we’re just letting the garden go crazy and not harvesting from those relationships.
What are some of your go-to approaches for reaching out to someone in your network who you haven’t talked to in a long time?
I’m always brutally honest. I say, “Oh my gosh, where has the time gone? Covid’s broken down a lot of relationships. I used to be so much better at keeping in touch there and I realized I haven’t even connected with you in a few years. How are you? What’s going on with you? Congratulations on the new job.” Or you could say, “I see that you’re working at such-and-such company. How do you like it?”
Another authentic example is, “I want to make sure I’m tending the garden of all these amazing relationships that I feel like the COVID years have taken from me. I’m working to be better in that space and you’ve been such a key relationship for me that I wanted to reach back out again, and I hope you feel the same.” I don’t know anybody who will be like, “No, I’m not interested in that.”
It’s kind of a human-nature thing: We keep wanting the new but honey, you’re sitting on a goldmine of relationships that you’re not tapping. When they respond, you have another chance to take it further. “Hey, I’d love to catch up and hear about what you’re up to offline. Do you have 10 minutes to jump on a Zoom call?” What are people afraid of? They’re afraid that you’re selling something, so just tell them upfront that’s not what this is, and be authentic and legitimate.
LinkedIn has become ground zero for professional networking. What strategies do you think are effective for making new connections on the platform with people you’ve never met?
The first thing you should do is interact with their content — and add value to them. That doesn’t mean adding a “great” or “this was wonderful” comment. Add substantive comments to their shares, and share their information as well with your followers. Become a part of their community so when you reach out, they’ll recognize your name. That’s how it works for me. People reach out to me “cold” all the time and I think that’s OK, but if you want people to be interested in you, you need to show that you’re interested in them. Your approach to relationships should be: give to give, not give to get.
There’s a Machiavellian energy that we can have, like, I want this person to do X for me, as opposed to thinking of it as, I want to be in a relationship with this person and a part of their universe.
Sometimes networking can feel transactional, or awkward. How do you build genuine and meaningful connections with someone you’ve never met?
Clarity is really helpful. I get so many emails like, “Hi, Denise, I would love to connect.” And I think, Why? I don’t know who you are, I don’t know what you want, what are you connecting for? Especially on LinkedIn®, where it’s such a sales environment — are you trying to sell me something? But if you ask me a specific question, it’s really easy for me to answer quickly. Just don’t ask me a question you could Google search.
People are busy, so respect their time. They might be thinking, I got 700 emails today, why should I answer yours? Are you cluttering their inbox or are you adding value? Are you bringing something interesting to the discussion or this space? If you approach it as building relationships instead of being a fan of theirs, you’ll get further.
What’s an example of a question you would reply to, from someone trying to network?
I’d respond if you asked me a specific question about a deal that I’ve worked on, like, “How was that deal constructed? I’m doing this myself and I’m struggling with how to manage it.” I’ve done that with some of the biggest names in the world and they’ve answered me because I was very specific about what I needed. People are hesitant to jump into the deep end, but they’re fine to step into the shallow end.
When you ask me a question, then I know there’s an ending to this relationship if I want to end it. It’s like the difference between asking for an hour-long meeting or a 15-minute coffee. If the investment is low and I have an exit strategy, I’m much more likely to assist than to help someone who’s asking me for something protracted. It’s a strategy in and of itself — to reduce your ask and to make it simple, succinct, and super clear.
How valuable is it to cultivate a well-rounded network that includes people from various industries and career stages, as opposed to primarily focusing on connecting with those in roles above you?
Being a part of a diverse network is critical — there’s nothing more important. First, you’re going to sharpen your skill set and your knowledge base. What your friend is doing in another industry to solve a problem may have fantastic applications in your industry, and nobody in your industry knows about that. And you get to be the one bringing in this fresh idea.
You always want to be interfacing with people in different sectors and different industries to become smarter. Also, technology is moving so fast. We all think we’re in different businesses now, but the world is collapsing in terms of the best practices for success. And in terms of opportunities, you don’t know where people are going to end up or what roles they’re going to end up in. Think of how many jobs we see now that didn’t exist 10 years ago. I think it’s really important to seek out compelling, interesting, dynamic go-getter people, because those people are going to move up in every space that they’re in, and you want to move up with them.
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