“Look for someone you can change with, because people do change”
You know Candace Bushnell as the mastermind behind one of our all-time favorite TV Shows, Sex and The City. Now, over 15 years after the show ended, Candace has written a new book, whose title addresses an important question for middle-aged women re-entering the dating world: “Is There Still Sex in the City?” As someone who personally dove back into the dating pool later in life, I couldn’t help but wonder…does Candace have any tips for how to get back out there? Turns out, she does! Take it away, Candace…
I never thought I would still be giving dating tips at 60, but like a lot of women, I found myself single in my 50s and had to figure out the brave new world of dating. I tried it all — from Tinder, to stalking guys on bicycles. I dated men old enough to be my father, and young guys who didn’t like dating apps any more than I did — and along the way, I learned a thing or two. FYI: I met MNB (my new boyfriend) through a mutual friend, IRL. Here goes:
- Your mom was right, looks don’t matter nearly as much as personality.
- Watch out for Mr. Bigs — at this point in your life it’s better to focus on being Mr. Big yourself, rather than looking for a man to fill that role.
- Know what you want!
- Pay attention to your emotions when you’re dating. If it starts to feel like a job, take a break. If it feels good, keep going.
- Most people have better luck on dating sites when they are specific. For example, dating sites like “over 50 in your area” or “dating sites for people who like dogs.”
- Figure out a plan for what to do if your date wants to have sex and you DON’T!
- Pay attention to your first interactions with someone. If a person can’t seem to make a plan, they probably won’t change.
- Make sure you have a good relationship in real life, not just one online. The biggest things that happen in relationships happen IRL, like marriage, children, taking care of someone when they are ill, sharing a meal, etc.
- SMELL GOOD. Smell is important. The nose knows things before we do. Up the odds by smelling great.
- Look for someone you can change with, because people do change.
- Avoid people with money troubles — they usually bring those troubles into your life.
- Tell everyone you know that you are looking for a relationship. There’s nothing people love more than to connect people they think will be a good match. It’s a blessing to all!!
This article originally appeared on Medium.com