Candace Bushnell’s Mid-Life Dating Tips

You know Candace Bushnell as the mastermind behind one of our all-time favorite TV Shows, Sex and The City. Now, over 15 years after the show ended, Candace has written a new book, whose title addresses an important question for middle-aged women re-entering the dating world: “Is There Still Sex in the City?” As someone who personally dove back into the dating pool later in life, I couldn’t help but wonder…does Candace have any tips for how to get back out there? Turns out, she does! Take it away, Candace…

I never thought I would still be giving dating tips at 60, but like a lot of women, I found myself single in my 50s and had to figure out the brave new world of dating. I tried it all — from Tinder, to stalking guys on bicycles. I dated men old enough to be my father, and young guys who didn’t like dating apps any more than I did — and along the way, I learned a thing or two. FYI: I met MNB (my new boyfriend) through a mutual friend, IRL. Here goes:

Your mom was right, looks don’t matter nearly as much as personality.
Watch out for Mr. Bigs — at this point in your life it’s better to focus on being Mr. Big yourself, rather than looking for a man to fill that role.
Know what you want!
Pay attention to your emotions when you’re dating. If it starts to feel like a job, take a break. If it feels good, keep going.
Most people have better luck on dating sites when they are specific. For example, dating sites like “over 50 in your area” or “dating sites for people who like dogs.”
Figure out a plan for what to do if your date wants to have sex and you DON’T!
Pay attention to your first interactions with someone. If a person can’t seem to make a plan, they probably won’t change.
Make sure you have a good relationship in real life, not just one online. The biggest things that happen in relationships happen IRL, like marriage, children, taking care of someone when they are ill, sharing a meal, etc.
SMELL GOOD. Smell is important. The nose knows things before we do. Up the odds by smelling great.
Look for someone you can change with, because people do change.
Avoid people with money troubles — they usually bring those troubles into your life.
Tell everyone you know that you are looking for a relationship. There’s nothing people love more than to connect people they think will be a good match. It’s a blessing to all!!