A Humana nurse shares strategies on making new connections after the 9-to-5 grind.
Retiring is like reaching the summit of a mountain after a lengthy climb. Your days spent scaling the corporate ladder are finally over, replaced with a breathtaking view of the world ahead of you. But how will you explore this new terrain? Who’ll join you on your next adventure? Which activities will entice you to continue lacing up your sneakers?
The possibilities for filling up your newly free retirement days can seem endless. For some, new beginnings come more naturally: You might be eager to join a volunteer group, send out invites for a game night, or find other retirees to grab coffee or golf with. But for others, the prospect of traversing a new horizon can be daunting, and lead to loneliness or social isolation.
“As you have more time post-retirement, you have more opportunities to create social connections,” says Michelle Davis, RN, a nurse of 20 years, and associate vice president of Humana Neighborhood Centers. “But the opposite can be true, and you can also become less and less connected to people.”
Being socially isolated is a bigger issue than just coping with feelings of sadness or disconnectedness. You might’ve heard that lack of social connections can heighten health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In fact, earlier this month, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy raised an alarm about the increase in loneliness across the country, calling it an epidemic. Put simply: Loneliness can lead to a whole slew of mental and physical problems, and can even exacerbate chronic conditions you’ve already been diagnosed with.
Retirement can be a vulnerable time for many, bringing into question who you are without an office, a packed calendar, or a professional title. But it doesn’t have to be so intimidating: There are plenty of ways to grab the reins of retirement with a positive outlook and foster meaningful new connections.
To help seniors and retirees connect, and to decrease social isolation and feelings of loneliness, Humana and Davis are spearheading the first-ever “Just Say Hello” event series in-person at Humana Neighborhood Centers across the country and online this June. It’ll offer tools for how to build relationships, stay connected, and strike up conversations with anyone at all.
Below, Davis shares some strategies that can help you navigate retirement and combat feelings of isolation. Because sometimes, the first step towards finding a new pal is simply saying “hello.”
How to make friends and stay connected during retirement
Take time to self-reflect
Pausing to ask yourself what you value in life is a process many people skip when they enter retirement. “People will often say, ‘Well, my neighbor volunteers, so I’ll go volunteer,’ and they’ll follow a path that they think they should follow,” says Davis. But that might not be aligned with how you want to fill your time. So instead, ask yourself: What’s important to me? What kind of people do I want to surround myself with? How is it that I want to give back?
Another question Davis recommends asking yourself is, What does successful retirement look like to me?
“The first step I take is to help people identify what they like to do, or what type of people they like to be around,” says Davis. “Not everybody wants to go to exercise classes, volunteer, or play cards, bingo, or golf. But luckily, there’s a lot more out there than those stereotypical retirement activities.”
Take advantage of senior resources in your community
“There’s no one-stop shop that says, ‘Here’s your guide to retirement,” says Davis. The retirement experience is as individual as each of us. So once you’ve taken the time to visualize your ideal situation, research which organizations in your community can help you jump-start that plan — or ask other retired friends which resources they’ve found helpful.
“A lot of communities have senior centers, or 55-plus and 65-plus programming,” says Davis. “At the Humana Neighborhood Centers, we really try to help people navigate these resources. We just need you to walk through the door, and we can help provide tools for finding purpose, identity, and social connection post-retirement.”
Whether you want to find volunteer organizations that align with your values, are interested in starting an online business, or signing up for a part-time job, community resources are there to help.
Maintain a daily routine
“People joke that they can’t wait to retire and not have to use an alarm clock,” says Davis. “But it’s important to get out of bed in the morning, and to have a reason to get up.” (Although, if you’re newly retired and want to bask in the glory of not having to join an 8 a.m. meeting with your boss, that’s welcome, too — but not forever.)
Though you might not be required to toss on a pantsuit and hit the road for your commute anymore, keeping a routine does reap plenty of benefits. “You can still set goals and create to-do lists,” says Davis. “Having the mindset of getting up and getting dressed like you used to, even if it’s to go to the market or to get a cup of coffee, is important. Just because you’re retired doesn’t mean you have to let go of the strategies and routines that you had pre-retirement.”
Just say “Hello”
Your days of professional networking might be over, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never have to flex those muscles again. Striking up a conversation with a stranger, or someone you meet doing an activity you’re interested in, is key to fostering meaningful social connections.
If it seems uncomfortable, keep some easy icebreakers in your mind: “Create a few go-to questions that you’re comfortable with if you’re going to strike up a conversation with somebody,” says Davis. “A good one for retirement is asking what someone did for work, or where they grew up or live now. Striking up conversations about sports is another popular one.”
And while signing up for an exercise class or gym membership is a healthy way to stay active, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you’ll connect with others, because you still have to converse when you get there.
“You might be surrounded by a lot of people, but are you really creating a social connection?” asks Davis. “The key is to find places with people who have similar interests as you and interact with those people in a meaningful way. Make sure there’s an emphasis on both, because just surrounding yourself with people doesn’t necessarily solve that issue of loneliness.”
Of course, social isolation isn’t something people only experience in retirement — one in two Americans may experience it at any point in time, says Davis. But she’s confident that these tips can help someone in a post-work stage of life — or, for that matter, anyone who wants to maintain connections. As she explains, “If we start addressing loneliness across our lifespan, maybe we’ll see less of it in retirement.”
Humana Neighborhood Centers offer a unique calendar of special events, programs, and activities designed to help improve physical and mental health. Most services can be used by anyone at no cost, and Humana membership is not required to participate in most activities.
Click here to find a Neighborhood Center near you. You can also check out Humana Neighborhood Center online health and wellness classes, easily accessed online in the comfort of your home.
