Everyday Intimacy: Why the Grooming and Intimate Products You Use Matter

For many of us, personal grooming — including shaving and waxing our bikini or “downstairs” areas — feels more utilitarian than anything. We shave and shower because we have to, we buy whatever products are on sale, and grooming that area is just another task we check off the list in the morning or evening, alongside emptying the dishwasher. Likewise, shopping for intimacy products like vibrators, condoms, or lube can feel like an attempt to break the all-time record on who can get in and out of the store the fastest, and with the least amount of eye contact. And that’s a shame, because the intimate care products we use are hugely important to our overall health and well-being.

There’s one big similarity between personal grooming and intimate health — both have historically been excluded from the larger wellness conversation, according to Grace Fellman, content manager at maude. That’s begun to change in recent years as we’ve gained a greater appreciation for how sexual well-being is connected to brain health, your quality of sleep, and more. “Reframing your daily acts of body care as time spent with yourself prompts confidence,” Fellman tells us. “It’s a unique opportunity to hone a closeness with yourself.”

And given how sensitive the areas we’re using them on are, the types of products we use in our personal grooming routines and sex lives definitely make a difference: They should be high-quality, made with body-safe materials, and enjoyable, too. For a rundown on what to keep in mind when shopping for grooming and intimacy products, we spoke to Pam Scoca, senior manager of product and compliance at maude, about red and green flags to watch out for when you’re shopping for soaps, devices, and everything in between.

What should we look for when shopping for intimacy products?

This may sound too obvious, but any sexual intimacy products — like vibrators or lubricants — you buy should be body-safe. For devices, that means they should be made of non-porous materials like platinum-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel, Scoca tells us.

“Any device made from a porous material or plastic should be a red flag,” Scoca says. “Porous materials cannot properly be disinfected, and can harbor bacteria between uses.” 

For lubricants, Scoca recommends avoiding products with added fragrances, and says it’s best to look for “pH-balanced” formulas.

How should we wash sex toys?

It’s important to clean devices like vibrators or other sex toys after every use, to keep yourself safe from harmful bacteria. For waterproof or water-resistant devices, Scoca recommends using warm water and mild soap, and, if that’s not an option, try an alcohol-based cleaner like maude’s Clean — it’s safe for use on silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel. Avoid any household cleaners, Scoca says, as they can be irritating and can degrade the device’s material. 

How do you clean your vagina?

Set that misleading marketing aside: The vagina is self-cleaning, and the vulva can be gently cleaned using just warm water, so you really don’t need an “intimate wash” for either. That said, if using one makes you feel more comfortable, look for a product that’s pH-balanced — and only use it on external skin. “In general, any intimate wash that suggests using the product internally should raise a red flag,” Scoca says.

What is the vagina’s pH level?

The skin’s optimal pH — the level of acidity at which it functions best — is, on average, around 5, which is a little acidic. While everyone’s skin is different, using products that are way off your natural pH could throw your system out of whack and lead to dry, irritated skin.

All of this applies to your vagina as well: It’s usually a little more acidic than your skin, with a pH around 4.5 during reproductive years and slightly higher after menopause. When your vagina’s pH is off, you’re more prone to bacterial infections and STIs. That’s why it’s important to only use products on the external skin in intimate areas, and to ensure that those products are at a safe pH for you.

Are baths risky for vaginal or intimate health?

As with most skin-related issues, sensitivity to baths varies from person to person. If you want to use bath salts or bubble bath to make your bathing ritual more relaxing and luxurious, Scoca recommends finding a gentle and, yes, pH-balanced formula.

If you have sensitive skin, Scoca recommends rinsing off in the shower before you hop in the tub (so you’re not soaking in dirty water) or after your bath, to get rid of any product residue and keep your skin clean and comfortable. And of course, if your skin gets irritated when using a specific product, stop using it right away.

How can we prevent irritation or ingrowns when grooming intimate areas?

Cleansing, exfoliating, and moisturizing your skin before shaving is key, as it helps soften the hair you’re planning to shave or trim while strengthening the skin. You can also use a non-irritating oil, like maude’s Shave, before a mild soap, to give the razor extra glide on your skin and prevent nicks and ingrown hairs. Finally, shaving in the direction of hair growth while holding the skin taut helps prevent irritation as well.

If you’ve already gotten an ingrown, or your freshly shaved skin is looking cranky and irritated, hold a cold compress on it to reduce swelling and pain. And apply an ingrown hair oil to also soothe the area.

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