“I’ve practiced saying ‘no’ to make room for a necessary ‘yes.’”
You may know Tunde Oyeneyin for her notoriously challenging light weights and arm classes on Peloton, or her infectious energy, which seems to spill out from her bike, through the screen, and onto your bike during her virtual spin sessions.
Whether or not you’ve gotten stronger from one of her classes, this former makeup artist is also a motivational speaker and author of Speak: Find Your Voice, Trust Your Gut, and Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be who should be on your radar.
This year, she’s got one mantra in particular to share: “Your purpose is your power.”
“Recognizing that we all have unique callings and distinct ways of expressing ourselves is empowering,” says Oyeneyin. “Within my wellness journey and the journey I help others in, I show up raw and in my truth.”
At Capital One Cafés in New York and D.C., Oyeneyin’s hosting fireside chats to help people realize their full potential. Thankfully, her advice isn’t filled with Pinterest quote colloquialisms, like, “Quit your job and travel the world,” or “Find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Oyeneyin’s too real for that, and she knows it’s all too common to feel held back from our dreams because of our day-to-day responsibilities.
“It’s possible to find meaningful work and allow our purpose to live outside of that — for example, through volunteer work, hobbies, or activities we share with friends — until we can fully leap and pursue our passions full-time,” she shares.
Capital One Cafés across the country are, in many ways, the perfect setting for Oyeneyin’s discussions. They offer a space of zen where you can cultivate community and connection. (And you don’t have to be a customer to take advantage of their espressos or events like the ones Oyeneyin’s hosting.)
“The energy at the Capital One Café events has been both buzzing and receptive. People have come to listen and share their vulnerable thoughts and questions on how to develop their mission or gift in life,” shares Oyeneyin. “I often share stories of my struggles — both past and present — with the hope that in seeing me, others can better see themselves. Little do they know they’re helping me as much as they believe I’m helping them.”
We spoke to Oyeneyin about how she fine-tuned her passions to build a life she loves — and her advice on how you can achieve the same personal success.
Katie Couric Media: You spent 15 years as a makeup artist before transitioning into a new career. Is there a specific moment that made you realize you wanted to make a change, and how did this shift align with your purpose?
Tunde Oyeneyin: Before I started my job at Peloton and my cycling career in general, I worked as a national makeup artist and trainer. I woke up one day and admitted to myself that I hated my job…the work I once loved was no longer serving me. Fast forward to today, I realize that my purpose to be a leader and a changemaker has not changed. I’ve always been drawn to uplifting others, it was simply the vessel through which that was channeled that needed the shift.
What advice would you give to someone struggling to identify their purpose?
Oftentimes what holds us back is not a matter of not knowing your “purpose,” but rather feeling overwhelmed with how to access a life that allows the means or the freedom to live out your calling. Day-to-day responsibilities as caregivers or partners combined with our fears of unreadiness stand before us. But when we quiet the limiting beliefs that hold us hostage, we can become more in tune with what truly fulfills us.
Capital One Cafés host your Q&As and other free opportunities for connecting with the community. How do you see spaces like these fostering a sense of community and connection among individuals?
In the book The Hidden Life of Trees, there’s a line that reads, “A tree is a tree and not a forest.” When we look at a field, we see a forest, we don’t focus on each tree. Rather, we see it as a community or as an entire forest. Trees have a sophisticated ecosystem: They share nutrients underground and nourish their competitors. A tree knows its strength but also knows it is the strongest with the support of the other trees around it. They respect one another and are careful not to grow on top of each other, honoring each other’s space. Every tree, therefore, is valuable to the community, and worth keeping around for as long as possible. So much so that even the sick are supported until they recover. We have so much to learn from trees. A tree is an individual, yet it operates for the good of the forest. It provides for the forest, knowing that it cannot shield itself from the severity of the sun alone. The Capital One Cafés, much like the tree in this analogy, hold space for individuals to create this network of community…the forest.
How do you balance pushing your limits to grow and ensuring your well-being remains a priority?
I’m still figuring this one out. I’ve practiced saying “no” more over the past two years to make room for a necessary “yes.” I interviewed Shonda Rhimes a few years ago and asked her a similar question about how she balances her work and home life. She told me that when her work was absolutely thriving — when her television shows were all winning awards — she probably missed her kid’s dance recital that week. And when she’s winning at being a mom — present for the recitals, helping them in the evenings with homework — her shows would take the hit. This is all to say that there is no perfect balance. Some things will be more prevalent in your life depending on the season and what you deem a priority.
How do you cultivate moments of gratitude in your daily life, and are there specific activities that help you connect with your inner self?
While I can’t say that I’m present all day every day (that would be the ultimate goal), I do find moments within each day when I can sit in gratitude. I think that being present creates space for gratitude. I am most connected to my inner self by the water —a beach, a lake, a hot bubble bath. Water calms the inner dialogue that cycles on repeat.
