It didn’t have to end this way.
Do nice guys really finish last? America’s beloved hot grandpa Gerry Turner certainly ended his tenure as the Golden Bachelor on a bit of a rocky note. During what should have been a triumphant ride off into the sunset with his new fiancée, Turner had to contend with two hits to his reputation: a Hollywood Reporter exposé and an unflattering finale portrayal.
As someone who gave up on the regular Bachelor franchise years ago (too many wannabe influencers, not enough actual relationships), I didn’t have high expectations for The Golden Bachelor, but I was nonetheless immediately charmed; it seemed so wholesome compared to the other versions. The contestants were individually a joy to watch: hilarious, smart, vulnerable. They were also genuine friends with each other, and there was only one petty fight the entire season — which lasted just one episode. (If it were The Bachelor, production would have dragged that conflict out all season.) There were none of those merciless two-on-one dates, where the lead goes on a date with two contestants at the same time, and only one of them returns. (These are usually a vehicle for drama, as the contestants chosen to go on two-on-ones are often at odds with each other.) But the shining light of The Golden Bachelor was the bachelor himself, Gerry Turner. The Golden Bachelor seemed to be everything its younger predecessors weren’t: romance-driven, and above all, real.
Seventy-two-year-old widower Gerry was sensitive and emotionally intelligent. He wasn’t afraid to cry: Each elimination seemed to break him a little; when one contestant had to leave early, he put his personal disappointment aside and assured her that “sometimes the right thing is the hardest.” The women gushed about how kind and amazing he was: At the “Women Tell All,” which is usually where the former contestants take turns ripping the lead apart, Sandra told him, “You’re not just a gentleman, you’re a gentle man.” Especially for women over 60 trying to date men battling the stereotype that men of a certain age are only looking for a nurse or a purse, Gerry was like a miracle.
And maybe he was too good to be true. The day before The Golden Bachelor finale aired, The Hollywood Reporter published an exposé alleging that Gerry’s TV image of a lonely widower, who hasn’t so much as kissed another woman since his wife died, was a facade. He’d not only dated, the publication alleged, but also mistreated an ex-girlfriend: The woman, who was identified by the pseudonym Carolyn, claims Gerry refused to take her to his high school reunion after she gained 10 pounds. Then, she says, he kicked her out of his home (which she was living in) and when she fell down the stairs packing and needed surgery, he refused to let her stay in the house and made her pay for a hotel.
If it was hard to reconcile this ice-cold depiction with the personification of the phrase “gee willikers” who we saw on TV every Thursday, it became a little easier at the finale when he dumped his runner-up, Leslie Fhima. After acting distant during their final date, he eventually admitted to her that he’d made up his mind — and Leslie wasn’t the one. It was devastating for Leslie because Gerry had already told her he loved her and that she was the one he “couldn’t live without.”
When Leslie asked him if those comments had been a lie, Gerry said he hadn’t been deceitful because he’d felt those things in the moment. He defended this later on to Katie Couric in an interview, saying, “When I expressed love for them in those moments, it was legit. And it was completely legit until I realized there was a woman there who was the person I couldn’t live without.”
Nobody’s perfect, and when champagne and rose petals are getting shoved in your face constantly, it’s easy to get swept up in the romance. But it’s not hard to understand why Leslie felt lied to. Other leads have said “I love you” to multiple contestants before, but before you tell someone “you’re the one I can’t live without,” you should be pretty sure that they’re actually that one. Plus, Leslie hinted that Gerry made her promises off-camera that made it seem like she’d be his final pick in the end — which felt reminiscent of the crappy male dating behavior that Gerry was supposed to be above. I mean, what woman hasn’t had a guy lie to them so they could make out a couple of times without commitment?
Leslie revealed on the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast that Gerry had made plans for the future with her: “He said kind of, like, ‘Save the date, this is what we’re going to do. I can’t wait for us. [In] two more days, we’ll be done with this [and] be together, start our life.’” In my recap, I called out that his promises felt reminiscent of future faking, a manipulation tactic involving telling someone what they want to hear to keep them on the hook (and which I’ve experienced countless times in the context of dating). Maybe I was just projecting, or maybe I was onto something. To be clear, I don’t think Gerry is a narcissist — or even that he was necessarily manipulating Leslie on purpose — and I also don’t think this breakup is even close to one of the more callous ones we’ve seen on the show. I am saying his handling of it didn’t square up with his immaculate image. But it’s unclear whose fault that is.
Between the exposé and the breakup, Reddit fans quickly turned on Gerry. Some recalled how he visibly perked up when Theresa revealed she still works as a day trader and called him a gold digger. “He’s a liar, he’s selfish, and he’s probably a user,” wrote one. On X, fans felt betrayed: “The only thing this show has taught me is a 70-year-old man is no different than a 27-year-old man. My nights ruined, goodnight,” wrote one viewer. Another said, “Finding out Gerry Turner is actually for the streets was NOT in my Bachelor bingo card.”
Gerry hasn’t responded to individual allegations in The Hollywood Reporter, but told Katie Couric, “I dated a number of women, but then it becomes an issue of how you define whether you’re in a relationship.” He said he went on “one or two” dates, and his relationship with Carolyn “really didn’t” last a couple of years, as was alleged in THR.
On the one hand, Gerry’s takedown feels inevitable. When you’re at the top, positioned as the perfect guy, there’s nowhere to go but down.
But some of this feels avoidable: Gerry’s insistence that he hadn’t so much as kissed another woman since his wife passed away; having Leslie meet his family when he already knew she wasn’t his pick. As with other reality dating shows, the missteps on The Golden Bachelor boil down to inauthenticity. I think if he’d admitted (or producers let him admit) that he’d dated a bit since his wife died but never found The One, that would’ve made him a lot more relatable than the celibate silver fox narrative — and the Hollywood Reporter piece wouldn’t have hit as hard. And if producers hadn’t built him up as the Ultimate Good Guy, and instead allowed us to see earlier on a little bit of vulnerability and messiness — an inherent part of dating when feelings get involved — viewers might have been more understanding of his difficult position when he broke up with Leslie.
Ultimately, all shows require editing, and we’ll probably never approach a true televised depiction of “reality.” But just as viewers loved the Golden Bachelor’s honest talks about losing a spouse, mentions of hearing aids, and discussions of feeling invisible past a certain age, they probably could’ve handled — and responded well to — some of the less-filtered elements of Gerry earlier on. When it comes to ABC’s dedication to depicting a squeaky-clean lead, The Golden Bachelor isn’t that different from the original shows.
For a show that was otherwise so heartwarming, it leaves a weird taste. The shine hasn’t completely dulled, but there’s the sense that not everything that glitters is gold.
