And Then There Were Four: “Golden Bachelorette” Episode 5 Recap

After the most dramatic episode of The Golden Bachelorette so far, we’re back for another week in the mansion! I’m hoping things are a little less unpredictable tonight; my heart can’t handle all that chaos.

But if the opening scene says anything, we’re in for some surprises this week: We open with a shot of Pascal in his underwear steaming his shirt. So he can steam clothes, just not wash them…? Got it. 

Golden Bachelorette Episode 5 Recap

At a coffee shop, Joan meets with Trista, the first-ever Bachelorette (and one-half of the longest-running Bachelor couple). 

Trista says her biggest regret when she was in Joan’s shoes was being too in her head and that she wasn’t more vulnerable with Ryan when he said he was falling in love with her. 

Similarly, Joan’s biggest struggle is fully giving in to the process, because even though her late husband John had told her before he passed that he wanted her to be happy and find someone else, she still feels guilty. 

Back at the mansion, Keith gets the coveted one-on-one date card. It couldn’t have come at a better time because after last week’s cocktail party, he really needs the chance to prove himself.

Joan and Keith’s One-on-One Date 

Their date is a helicopter ride. They fly over the mansion, and the guys in the pool wave to them — which creates a pretty hilarious scene, unlike the ones created by helicopter rides in Bachelor past, which typically left the other contestants bitter and jealous. See, golden is the way to go. 

Anyway, Keith and Joan’s date continues at a winery. Keith understands the assignment: He tells Joan, “I hope to show you another side of me today.” He says opening up is difficult because if they make all these plans that don’t come to fruition (which is what happened with his ex-wife), it hurts. 

There will be no date roses this week because Joan wants to have as much time as possible to make her decisions. That means nobody will be safe when we get to the rose ceremony. The pressure is on.

At the mansion, Chock is kind of unraveling, thinking about Joan being on dates with other guys. He’s made a few comments this episode about how he wishes the other guys would just drop out. It could just be editing, but his anxiety is a little concerning.

Also, Mark is in his feelings. He misses his late wife and is not sure he’s doing the right thing by being on the show. But then Mark tells Pascal and Jordan that he and his late wife had a hummingbird feeder and she’d hold her hand out for the birds to sit in her hand — and when he was walking around outside, a hummingbird flew up to him. He takes it as a sign that he’s in the right place. Pascal and Jordan are so supportive and glad for him. We love to see bros bonding and being vulnerable!

Chock and Mark are kind of fighting over who wants the one-on-one more. In my opinion, Mark deserves it since he hasn’t had that chance yet. I get that it’s tough to be away from the person you’re falling for, but c’mon Chock, spread the love.

Jonathan reads the group date card, and the guys going on the date are Guy, Jordan, Jonathan, Pascal, and Chock. That means Mark gets the solo date! 

The Group Date 

Based on the date card, which reads, “Our love has no time to spare,” the guys are convinced the group date is bowling. Unfortunately, some of them are still banged up from the kickball date — and, unfortunately for them, they were right, and the date is bowling. 

Joan’s clearly good at bowling: The first one she rolls is a strike. I can only do that if the bumpers are on. 

Pascal has never bowled before, and his first time, he gets, like, eight pins? I don’t know; I think he’s hustling us. 

The guys are kind of turning on Chock because he’s pulling out all the moves to spend extra time with Joan during the group date. The guys are like, “Hey, let someone else get a word in with Joan,” and Chock is like:

When Jonathan does get a minute alone with Joan, he shows her the Father’s Day card he got from his daughter, plus some pictures of himself through the years. 

Guy says that for the first time since his marriage ended, he might be falling in love.

Meanwhile, all the guys are talking crap about Chock while he and Joan play Skee-ball. I guess we finally have a villain for the season…

Mark and Joan’s One-on-One Date

Joan picks Mark up in a red convertible (every girl’s dream) and takes them to a yacht! The sky looks a little gray and gloomy, but at least this means Mark gets to hold Joan close…“for warmth.” 

Again, it could be editing, but there seem to be a lot of awkward silences on this date, which might not be a good sign for Mark. He seems like the strong, silent type, but that might be his undoing if he can’t open up a little. 

They’re saved by Jesse: The captain gives them a note saying he’s having them do a scavenger hunt all around the boat. In a game of Never Have I Ever, Mark — a father — reveals he’s never woken up in the night to feed a baby. Never? Red flag. 

Anyway, Mark and Joan do start to have some deep conversations. Mark talks about how the guys in the mansion all support each other, and Joan says that she doesn’t have anyone to talk to. Aw, that’s a good point: She is all alone in this, minus maybe Jesse, who shows up for what seems like 30 seconds a week.

Mark reveals that when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was already stage 4. He also tells her about the sign from the hummingbird at the mansion.

The date went well, but will it be enough to get Mark through to hometown dates? I’m not totally sure, because it felt a little stilted. 

The next day, Joan visits the house specifically to talk to Mark — this can’t be good. Can it be good? Keith thinks it’s good. 

Joan pulls Mark aside to say that they had a great date, and she feels their relationship grew a lot, but something’s missing. This morning she got clarity: She doesn’t feel Mark’s totally ready in his healing journey to make space for her.

This has to be the gentlest breakup ever, to the point that I wasn’t really sure if Joan was letting Mark go or giving him an opportunity to convince her otherwise…But it is, indeed, a breakup, which Mark takes with complete grace. What a guy! 

The other contestants wish Mark a tearful goodbye.

Who went home on The Golden Bachelorette tonight?

So, to recap, we’ve still got Keith, Jordan, Jonathan, Pascal, Chock, and Guy. This is the hardest elimination yet, and they’re only going to get harder from here on out.

The first rose goes to Pascal in what is, in my opinion, a surprising twist. Plot twist: What if Joan just kept Pascal for hometowns so they could go to Paris? I’d respect it.

The next rose goes to Chock, followed by Guy, and then…Wait, it’s the final rose already? I had to rewind to make sure I didn’t just zone out and miss a rose. I guess we can only take four guys on hometowns, and there are six right now. Oh no, I’m not feeling good for Jonathan. I’m nervous for him.

The final rose goes to…Jordan! 

Me being happy for the guys who are staying but sad when I realize who’s going home:

Oh my god, that means Keith and Jonathan are going home! I am losing it, I did not see this coming. Many times, the guy who gets the first date rose often ends up winning The Bachelorette, so this is a twist for sure. I need more insight into this decision! 

Joan walks Jonathan out. They both say the nicest things to each other: Jonathan tells Joan she made him feel seen and validated. Unfortunately, we don’t get more clarity on why Joan made the decisions she did. I have no doubt they were very well thought-out and the right choices for her, I just wish I had closure! That’s right, me, the person watching their relationship from a distance, with absolutely no personal connection to any of these people.

Next week, we’re off on the hometown dates, where Joan will meet the guys’ families. It’s getting real!