The pop star is not holding back.
Over the weekend, Britney Spears made a number of bombshell allegations about what life was like for her under her 13-year conservatorship, during much of which she lived under the control of her father, Jamie Spears.
Spears released a 22-minute audio file on her Youtube channel early Monday morning, and made it private shortly after. However, a number of audio file copies remain available online, as well as numerous transcripts. And if you’ve been avidly following the details of Spears’ harrowing home life over the years, then this is definitely a must-read.
“I honestly deserve an award for acting like I was okay every day,” Spears said at one point. “I thought they were trying to f*cking kill me.”
Here’s a quick summary of the biggest bombshells Spears dropped in the audio file:
What did Britney Spears reveal in her new audio recording?
In the 22-minute recording, Spears spoke at length about a number of stunning details about her conservatorship — including the moment Spears’ father gained control over her life. Spears claimed her mother aided her father in setting up the conservatorship. “I remember my mom was sitting on the couch and she said, ‘we’ve heard people are coming here today to talk to you,'” Spears recalled. “Then four hours later, there were over 200 paparazzi outside my house, videotaping me through a window of an ambulance holding me down on a [gurney]. I know now, it was all premeditated.”
In the decade-plus she lived under the conservatorship, the singer and performer released four musical albums and carried out a four-year Las Vegas residency — and yet she wasn’t allowed to access her own money, or even to smoke a cigarette.
“People on death row can smoke cigarettes,” she pointed out, highlighting just how little freedom she had under the guardianship.
At one point, Spears addressed the Vegas residency specifically. “My performances, I know, were horrible,” she said. She explained that she cared so little during her Vegas residency that she would often wear wigs during performances so that she could do hair conditioning treatments beneath. She described the disillusioning contrast between the appearance of her life and the reality of it as feeling like a “conspiracy.”
“People [claimed] to treat me like a superstar, and yet they treated me like nothing,” she said.
Spears also addressed her family members directly during the video — noting in particular the continued silence of her mother and sister, who maintain to this day that they had no idea Spears was unhappy in her conservatorship.
“I’m honestly more angry at my mom [than my dad],” Spears said, accusing her mom of “innocently” hiding in the house when reporters asked questions. “I feel like she could’ve gotten me a lawyer in literally two seconds.”
Spears’ mother, Lynne Spears, has already responded to Spears’ comments. In an Instagram post (accompanied by a photo of the mother and daughter laughing together), Lynne wrote, “Britney, your whole life I have tried my best to support your dreams and wishes! And also, I have tried my best to help you out of hardships! I have never and will never turn my back on you! Your rejections to the countless times I have flown out and calls make me feel hopeless! I have tried everything. I love you so much, but this talk is for you and me only , eye to eye, in private.”
For those who are desperate to see Spears give a tell-all on television, you might be disappointed.
While Spears also confirmed that she has received “lots” of offers for interviews for “lots and lots of money”, including an interview with Oprah, she said she doesn’t plan to do one anytime soon. “It’s beyond a sit-down interview,” she explained. “I had no contact in that place for so long, and my heart would just want to stand up in my family’s faces, and scream and cry and throw a tantrum, and go back in time and do exactly what I wanted to do in those times, and even spit in their f*cking faces.”
She then posed a series of heartbreaking questions: “How did they get away with it? Is there a God? I was scared, weak, and my family was at my beach house…how can I mend this if I don’t talk about it?”
At the end of the voice note, Spears addressed her fans directly. “If you’re a weird, introvert, oddball like me,” she said, or someone, “who feels alone a lot of the time…know this: my life has been far from easy, and you’re not alone.”
You can read the full transcript of Spears’ statement here.
