Here’s who got sent home after hometowns.
Warning: Spoilers ahead
Last week was the Women Tell All Golden Bachelor special, but first, Gerry had to make a tough decision. You may remember cursing ABC at the end of the previous episode, which closed on a cliffhanger.
This episode picks up where they left off, with Gerry basically on the verge of puking outside the Bachelor mansion and his three finalists standing there, waiting to hear their fate in the competition.
Jesse comes over to fulfill his hosting obligations and asks Gerry if he knows what he’s going to do. Gerry replies, “I know what I’m gonna do, I just don’t want to do it.”
And then we cut to a live studio audience, where Jesse walks in to rousing applause. It seems we won’t find out who the final two are before the Women Tell All. ABC loves a fake-out.
The Women Tell All
If you’re new to the show, this episode always precedes the finale and allows all the contestants to sit down and hash it out with each other and their former flame. This one will likely be a little less catty and combative than we’re used to seeing on The Bachelor and Bachelorette.
First, can we just say: These women look women amazing. We were particularly hypnotized by Marina’s lime green dress, Edith’s hot pink sparkly frock, and Natascha’s jewels. The ladies are serving the looks.
To center everyone, Sandra leads the women in a deep breath and a “fuuuck” chant, just like she did when she first met Gerry, and then they talk about the limo entrances a bit. If you’ll recall, Susan came in with a cheeky line pointing out that she was wearing high heels: “I can handle six inches.”
Now, Susan says, “My son was so upset with me for my limo entrance — had I known that I would’ve said I can handle 8 inches.” Susan should be doing stand-up comedy.
Next they recap the pickleball tournament and how Sandra was the MVP of the day. April admits she faked her ankle injury because “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Then they address Zip It-gate. Kathy says, “We were all dating one man, and people who know me know that I’m a straight shooter.” Susan cuts in: “With the biggest heart in the world.”
Kathy continues, “Looking back, could I have been more delicate? Yes, I could have. Maybe we both could have zipped it.” I’m glad this was resolved, but I do think this was a really huge missed opportunity since Theresa couldn’t be there, to get to the bottom of the Zip It versus Snip It confusion.
Kathy says she wishes everyone the best and the show is about hope, friendship, and what life offers all of us. Welp, the one conflict in the entire show has effectively been squashed within the first three minutes of a special that is usually jam-packed with drama. What more is there for the women to tell?
With the elephant in the room out of the way, the attention turns to the fun look back at how the woman ate at Bachelor mansion. They mostly cooked for themselves — some women were talented chefs while others were…not. (Relatable.) Apparently, after Zip It-gate, the other biggest drama from the season is that Susan had some…um…bad gas and we don’t know what the culprit was. Susan’s insistent that Edith’s guacamole caused it, but everyone else thinks it was Susan’s meatballs. Yeah…my money is on the meatballs. I’ve gotta say, this episode solidifies my opinion that Susan is hilarious and it’s a real shame we didn’t get to see more of her. I may have to redo my vote — sorry, Ellen — and say Susan for Golden Bachelorette. Never mind, I can’t choose — it’s like picking between my two children. Or grandmas, I guess.
Now this is a real treat: Jesse shows everyone a video sent in from Kris Jenner, aka Susan’s lookalike! Kris says this has been the most amazing season she’s watched in years. Everyone loves this, including me. (But why are they watching this on Jesse’s phone? They couldn’t have projected it onto a bigger screen? Can any of these women see that tiny thing from where they’re sitting? I sure wouldn’t be able to!)
Kris says she’s a fan of Susan — I got chills. Now do Caitlyn Jenner and Kathy!
Me to Susan:
After a break, Joan joins Jesse in the hot seat (say that three times fast) to talk about her time on the show, which was unfortunately cut short. Thankfully Joan’s daughter and granddaughter are OK. Jesse asks her the question we’ve all been wondering: If things had been different and she’d stayed, would they have made it? It’s an impossible question to answer, of course, but it doesn’t seem like Joan’s going to be making a surprise comeback in the Bachelor mansion next week, which has been one of my secret hopes this whole time. But she does say that she’s grateful to have had the opportunity look for love at this stage in her life:
Joan: Society makes us feel like we’ve had our chance, we’ve raised our children and it’s time now to support the next generation and take a backseat. And Gerry opened my heart.
Next is Ellen’s turn in the hot seat — although, it’s not really a hot seat since nobody’s being asked tough questions. It’s like a lukewarm seat. A cool seat. A nice warm bath of a seat.
Jesse says, “I know there wasn’t a member of Bachelor Nation who wasn’t pulling for your happiness.” Could that be a Golden Bachelorette indication…? Ellen continues to say the nicest things about Gerry, like how he truly made her feel like a princess. If there was any doubt in the world that Gerry is a gem with a heart of gold, just listen to how his exes talk about him!
Sadly, Ellen’s friend Roberta, whom she talked about when she first met Gerry, passed away before The Golden Bachelor premiered, which is heartbreaking. Ellen talks about how applying for the show was Roberta’s one wish when she found out she had stage 4 cancer, and when Ellen got back from filming, Roberta was in a semi-coma state. Ellen told her friend, “I don’t want you to suffer anymore. I want you to go, it’s OK. We’re going to watch the show from different places.” I’m crying. Jesse’s crying. Everyone in the audience is crying.
Jesse says, “There’s someone who this specifically touched and she’s in the audience tonight” They bring out Roberta’s daughter. This show is so emotional!! I haven’t cried this much on a weekly basis since I stopped watching This Is Us.
Gerry joins the women
After a brief commercial break so I could grab a tissue and wipe off the mascara that ran down my face, it’s time to welcome Gerry to the stage! This is like the part of every bridal shower where the groom shows up to play that one Newlyweds game and everybody’s drunk on mimosas.
Jesse asks Gerry what it was like kissing so many women knowing his granddaughters would be watching. Gerry said he was having fun and wasn’t gonna pass up the opportunity. This might be Gerry’s most stereotypically male moment in the entire season.
Sandra says to him, “You’re not just a gentleman, you’re a gentle man” and she’s more motivated now to find her guy.
I will say that Gerry is serving as a fantastic walking advertisement for the state of Indiana. All the women are like, “Do you have brothers? Cousins? Are there more of you?” And Gerry says that every guy in Indiana is like him. If this is true, I may have to plan a trip…
Joan and Gerry reunite
Joan finally gets her moment to talk to Gerry and says she only wishes him the best. “I went from wanting to find somebody to craving it now. It was such a good feeling and I’m working hard to find it. I’m not giving up,” she says. Ellen also gets her moment and she thanks him for making her feel like a princess and giving her the ability, confidence, and self-esteem to move on to find love.
This is the theme of the night — dating Gerry gave all these women the hope and encouragement to look for love out in the real world. Now, that is truly remarkable. Anyone my age goes on one date and is like, “You know what, a dog for a companion doesn’t sound so bad.”
Gerry tells Ellen, “I think you represent all the feelings of the women sitting with you: Through our experiences, we’ve become more hopeful, more optimistic, that in our age we’re not invisible. We have meaning and we have many things to offer.”
Me at home:
Gerry’s gone backstage while we watch the emotional conclusion of hometowns. As a reminder, it’s down to Faith and Theresa. Well, this is a weird recap transition, but here we go:
Who got eliminated on The Golden Bachelor last week?
Back in the mansion, Faith says she’s feeling nervous. Jesse goes over to Gerry and does the whole “do you know what you wanna do?” thing, etc. etc.
Gerry walks into the rose ceremony like a man who’s been sent to walk the plank. He apologizes to the women, and the final rose goes to…
Theresa.
The audience is shocked!
Gerry: Theresa, will you accept this rose?
Theresa: With all my heart.
That means Faith is going home, and we cut to the studio audience where the shock is visible. Gerry is pretty much always crying at the end of these, and this time he can’t even keep it together — his face crumples immediately. He walks Faith out. He says, “It was so nice to meet your family and see you in your element.”
Gerry doesn’t really offer any explanation as to why he didn’t choose Faith, he just says it was a joy and that she has a good heart. If this were me, I’d be demanding answers. (She says from her keyboard, where she’s demanding answers…)
Faith can’t hide her confusion in the limo. She says she thought she was going to marry Gerry and she wanted more for her and her kids. My heart breaks when she says, “Maybe it’s just not in the cards for me.” Don’t say that!
And now we’re back at the studio and you can hear a pin drop. Faith is in the hot seat. It’s not any easier for her to watch the footage back. She says, “For the past 20 years I didn’t really open myself up for love. And I told myself, OK if I feel anything at all, I’m going to go all in — and it shattered me.”
Gerry comes back out, and we better get some closure! They both hug and immediately start crying.
Faith tells Gerry that she felt like they had a safe space, and when he eliminated her it was like looking at a stranger.
Gerry says, “I have thought about that night and those moments when I told you I loved you. And in those moments I did, I genuinely loved you.” Reading between the lines — did Gerry just get caught up in the moment and not really feel so deeply for Faith? Hmm…
Faith says Gerry took down 30 years of walls that she had up and this was the first time she relaxed in somebody’s arms and felt safe and that she’d never felt that way.
Faith says, “In my mind, I didn’t care about what was going to align and what wasn’t.”
Maybe that’s a hint at what happened, maybe their lifestyles didn’t match up. That makes sense since Gerry did look out of place on that farm.
Gerry says that he had genuine love for her, but was choosing between three great women and had to pick the right one.
Gerry: My heart went out to you that night. That was the saddest part, that I wasn’t able to try to talk to you so you understood a little bit. And I hope you do a little now.
Does she?! I don’t understand any better now! Gerry, please enlighten us!
Gerry says he feels the worst that he promised her family that he’d protect her heart, and he didn’t do that. Faith, for her part, says she doesn’t feel like she was deceived and her family doesn’t feel that way either. We love mature adults communicating!
They could’ve probably kept crying together for hours but Jesse cuts them off like, “Well you guys have lots of mutual respect, and we gotta wrap this up.”
That’s pretty much it for the Women Tell All and the hometown dates. Next week, Theresa and Leslie are getting a free trip to Costa Rica, and then we’ll move into fantasy suites. Jesse Palmer says the episode will make everyone in America cry, and I don’t doubt that. BRB, gonna go buy stock in Kleenex!
If you can’t wait until next week, find out who we think Gerry will pick on the Golden Bachelor finale.
