After Escaping an Abusive Relationship, One Woman Set Out To Help Others Do the Same

Jemimah Ngari smiles with her two children.

Courtesy of Jemimah Ngari

Jemimah Ngari wants survivors of abuse to know they’re not alone.

If you ask Jemimah Ngari to tell you about her life, she’ll smile and tell you, “My story is very large.” It’s also one marked with struggle, abuse, bravery, and resilience.

When Ngari was 41 years old, she left everything she knew, including her husband, behind in her home country of Kenya to start a new life with her 11-year-old daughter and two-year-old son in America. At the time, she could never have anticipated how difficult the journey would be ahead of her.

Although she had earned an associate degree in psychological counseling back in Kenya, Ngari wasn’t permitted to practice in her new home of Round Rock, Texas. Instead, she took a job at a nursing home to support herself and her two kids. Shortly after the move, Ngari married a man she met online. “It was very lonely being in a new country,” she explains. “I was a single mom. So this partner was everything — I depended on him. And it was good at first. But then it turned bad.”

Jemimah and her two kids hug
Ngari poses with her two children soon after their move to the U.S.

After just a few months of marriage, Ngari’s husband became emotionally abusive. “If I wanted to use the money that I had earned from my job,” she says, “he would tell me it was his now. He said horrible things to me. I stopped smiling. I stopped being available as a parent. So I started praying, ‘God, please take him out of my life.’ That’s when I called the domestic help hotline.”

The hotline referred Ngari to an organization called Hope Alliance. She was then directed to a program called Dress for Success, which is a global not-for-profit organization that empowers women to achieve economic independence by providing a network of support, development tools, and professional attire —when needed to help them thrive in work and in life — all at no cost to the client. Dress for Success is supported by Talbots, who have been their proud partners for 25 years. Since they began working with the organization, Talbots has raised over nine million dollars to help support 250,000 women just like Ngari achieve financial and professional freedom.

Ngari began secretly attending meetings and sessions for women in abusive relationships. “For the first time since I moved to this country, I felt supported,” says Ngari. “Ultimately, I understood that my kids would be my motivation to get out. They were my strength.” Her husband moved out, and with support from Hope Alliance and the local police, she broke off contact.

For Ngari, being a single mom again was a double-edged sword. “I was free, but now I was on my own again. I knew that I needed to grow, and build myself so I wouldn’t have to rely on another person again.” That’s where Dress for Success stepped in.

At her first appointment with the organization, Ngari saw firsthand how the organization lived up to its name. At their custom boutiques, Dress for Success provides clients with a personal shopping experience with professional clothing often provided by Talbots.  

“The first thing they did was dress me up,” Ngari laughs. “That made me feel so confident. When you’re in an abusive situation, the first thing to go is your self-confidence. I spent all of my money on clothes for my kids, so the only new clothes I had gotten since I moved to this country were scrubs. And then, here was this woman, taking me to a boutique, making me feel like I was special, and telling me, ‘pick out anything you want.’ They gave me shoes, jewelry, handbags, and professional work clothing. I felt respected. I felt supported. That’s a memory I’m going to carry with me for a long time.” Ngari chose a sleek Talbots pantsuit, which she would wear for interviews and professional work headshots. “I am so grateful to Talbots for sponsoring Dress for Success. The beauty I saw in myself when I looked at myself in the mirror in their attire… it’s really beyond words.” 

Jemimah Ngari smiles in her new suit from Talbots
Ngari poses for a professional headshot in her new suit from Talbots

Ngari’s next step at Dress for Success was to lay out her personal and professional goals. “I didn’t want to be a nursing aide anymore,” she recalls. “I wanted to go back to school, so I could get a job that would pay me better. At the time, I had to rely on my teenage daughter to watch my son. I wanted the freedom to be available as a mother. I wanted financial freedom, and I wanted personal freedom.” 

At the organization’s career center, a volunteer helped her prepare her resume and signed her up for a six-week career skill and development course. “I would work the night shift, and then drive to Austin for the four-hour course,” says Ngari. “They taught me how to interview, how to brand myself, how to use LinkedIn, and how to negotiate a salary. I didn’t sleep a lot during that time, but it was worth it.” At the end of the course, the teacher arranged for Ngari to interview at an IT company. She landed the job as an interview scheduler. 

After finding a steady job, Ngari continued taking courses with Dress for Success. “They’re very keen on empowerment,” she explains. “I’ve taken a class in financial literacy. I’ve learned how to budget and invest, how to work up a credit history, and how to prepare for retirement. I never thought I’d be able to do all of these things on my own.”

Six years later, Ngari has worked her way up to being an Employee Relations Analyst at the company she landed that first interview with. She’s now a Dress for Success Ambassador, and helps to coach and encourage other women who have escaped situations like the one she was in. Ngari also earned an online degree in behavioral health sciences with an emphasis on trauma. She explains: “What happened to me could happen to anyone. I had studied the psychology of abuse back in Kenya, and this still happened to me. There are a lot of women out there who know they need to leave, but for some reason they’re stuck. I want them to know that there are resources out there so they don’t have to live this way anymore.” 

Jemimah smiles at her college graduation with her two children
Ngari at her college graduation with her children

Jemimah Ngari’s story is not unique. Thousands of women in our own country — in our own communities — rely on the support of organizations like Dress for Success. Talbots is committed to empowering these women by helping them build their confidence — because we all know fresh professional attire has the power to help someone regain their sense of independence and self-worth. 

This year’s Dress for Success campaign at Talbots was inspired by the butterfly — a symbol of hope and transformation indicative of the resilient spirit of women like Ngari. To continue their staunch support for Dress for Success, Talbots will be collecting monetary donations for the organization in stores between March 6 and April 2. Between March 6 and 19, 30 percent of net proceeds from their Butterfly Charming Cardigan will be donated to Dress for Success. Then, on Saturday, March 11, Talbots stores across the nation will have a shopping party where you can shop for a cause, with 10 percent of the net proceeds of any purchase in stores and online benefitting Dress for Success. The event will support deserving women, but it’s a great opportunity for shoppers, too — you’ll get 25 percent off your entire purchase this weekend. So, mark your calendars, and stop by your local Talbots to change up your wardrobe and change the lives of women in your local community and beyond. It will make a world of difference to women like Ngari, who says, “Talbots and Dress for Success helped me to move forward and better my life not just for myself, but for my children. I will be forever grateful for that.”