The pandemic has put many of us through the wringer. But for Amanda Kloots, it’s transformed her life from top to bottom. In March 2020, her husband Nick Cordero contracted Covid-19. He was gone four months later, but by then Cordero’s battle with the virus — and Kloots’ grief — had riveted the country. 

She had suddenly become a very public widow, a single mom to her infant son Elvis, and embarked on writing a memoir, Live Your Life. In this episode of Next Question with Katie Couric, Kloots spoke about what it was like to share a complete portrait of her marriage — warts and all.

“To tell this story and pretend like we were this perfect couple, or that we never had problems, or that we never got on each other’s nerves, or almost broke up before we really kind of got it together — that’s not the truth,” Kloots said. 

The couple, who met while working on the musical Bullets Over Broadway and married in 2017, fought frequently about uprooting from New York and moving to California, Kloots said, and about Cordero’s music career. 

“I hate myself for it, but I never really, truly believed in his music,” Kloots said.

The dancer and fitness entrepreneur said that with a newborn, it felt like a risk for Cordero, at 40, to start touring around the country. It wasn’t until Cordero had been hospitalized, and Kloots began singing one of his original songs Live Your Life at his bedside, that she had a change of heart.

“I was like, ‘Wow this is an amazing song and my husband’s so talented,’” she said. “I look back and I’m like gosh, I really sucked at being the supportive wife.”

Kloots also opened up about being a single mom, saying she feels the “pressure to be like two people and to give more than you possibly could give.” That pressure can feel overwhelming at times, but Kloots said she’s gotten by with help from friends and family. 

Kloots also told Katie she’s not ready to start dating quite yet, but is open to falling in love again.

“I feel grateful that I feel OK being alone, I feel OK being a single mother, I feel OK not having anyone right now,” she said. “I think I’ll just take it day by day. But I hope that there’s somebody out there for me.”

Listen to the episode now to learn more about Kloots and her memoir.