It’s not all sunsets and serendipity.
There’s been lots of memes on social media lately about Americans leaving the U.S. behind and moving abroad — for political reasons, mostly — but it’s definitely not a brand-new phenomenon. (Millions of Americans have been frantically Googling the phrase “how to move to another country?”) Still, when I first moved abroad back in 2009, people asked me, “Why?” Today, living in Portugal — my fourth country outside the United States — the more common question I get is: “How?”
Over many years, our family has intentionally built a life of what many call “location independence,” which essentially means we can live and work anywhere in the world. We aren’t “nomads,” but rather an everyday American family who has lived and traveled across the world — and we’ve learned a lot along the way.
How we achieved location independence
The “how” of every location-independent family’s journey looks different. Our how is possible because I earn a living for our family while my husband stays home with our two kids: He’s spent more than 10 years as the caregiver, grocery shopper, cook, lunch-packer, and school dropper-offer.
I have a U.S.-based business and work as a nonfiction book coach and speaker from my cozy home office in Portugal, but I often travel, too. This past year alone, I’ve explored London, Berlin, Amsterdam, Zurich, and New York.
This life that works for us; in fact, it’s one we love. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t learned many lessons along the way — and experienced both the joys and struggles of the situation we chose.
Why we moved abroad — and why we stay
Our original move had nothing to do with politics or the state of the union. Instead, we were starry-eyed recent college grads looking for adventure in the shiny Caribbean. Our first country, the Dominican Republic, proved to be a good seal-breaker for this Idaho girl who’d never left her home continent. We later moved to Vietnam, then returned to the United States for eight years so I could attend graduate school and we could start our family.
The “why” of our second move was more complex: A big motivator was a desire to raise global citizens. We wanted our children — then three and five — to grow up experiencing the world, not just watching it through a screen or reading about it in books. And we’ve given that world to them, through travel in Thailand, Singapore, Vietnam, Portugal, Spain, and more.
Today, we stay abroad for so many reasons: safety, affordable medical care, and a genuine love of this paradise we’ve settled into in southern Portugal.
Why we love our location-independent life
When we first moved to our little beach town, we signed the contract on our place and went on a short drive around the area. Five minutes later, we were at a stunning beachfront — and came to find out that there are about a dozen world-class beaches within 20 minutes of our home. It’s temperate nearly all year long, meaning I sadly miss “sweata weatha” and pumpkin spice lattes, but gladly wear my shorts in the middle of December.
There are practical benefits too: We’ve been able to tap into tax benefits, the cost of living is lower and quality of life is better, and we exchanged $2,000-plus in medical expenses per month in the U.S. for affordable health insurance and care. My child once needed to be hospitalized for a week in Portugal, including urgent surgery, and her private hospital bill was less than $600. We pay less than $400 per month for excellent medical insurance — and the food is safer, tastier, and cheaper than it was back in Idaho.
We love our life: Our kids go to an international school nearby, and I get my big-city-energy needs fulfilled by the frequent business trips I take around the world. On the weekends, we often go to the beach or take walks on the seaside rocks, my husband and I chatting while our kids hop across the craggy surfaces.
Our life is, in many ways, postcard-perfect. But postcards don’t tell the whole story, do they?
Living abroad can be tough
We can start with the dangers: The time I was robbed at gunpoint in Santo Domingo. The time our home in Thailand was infested with 200 bats in the attic. The many, many medical emergencies and hospitalizations — once, landing three members of our four-person family in a Thai hospital within a 24-hour period, from severe food poisoning. The time I narrowly missed a head-on car collision on the freeway during Semana Santa, holy week.
And we can add the frustrations, including what sometimes feels like an impossible level of bureaucracy for foreigners trying to live overseas (including endless paperwork). Then there’s the lack of access to pediatric medical care in southern Portugal, both for wellness care and emergency visits, and the shortage of quality schools in the region. The language barriers. The cultural faux pas. The loneliness.
All of these are real, and many of them will continue to happen. Because as much as we love living in Portugal, we’re also realists: Nowhere on the planet is perfect. But the hardships we’ve dealt with bring growth. I can say, unequivocally, that I’m a better person for the life I lead.
Moving to a new country doesn’t solve your problems — it transplants them
Here’s a truth that I think should be more widely shared: Moving abroad won’t solve your problems. In fact, it will give you new ones, because now you have to learn an entire new way of being in the world, including new laws, new systems, a new language, and new cultural expectations. And an entirely new start with friends and your broader community.
The question you have to ask yourself is: How do I want to grow?
Because if you come into this living-abroad life with a commitment to growth, you will find it. That single question can reframe nearly any hard scenario, including the medical emergencies and bureaucratic nightmares that often accompany moving abroad.
And if you can make it through what I refer to as the “two-year test” living outside your home country, you’ll inevitably develop a mindset of flexibility. Throughout the many years and many countries we’ve lived in, we’ve noticed that those who persevere are the ones who end up leading choice-filled, meaningful lives abroad.
So to answer the questions of both “why” and “how” we left the U.S., I say: because we wanted to, and we continue to make decisions that lead to more choices. And for now, we choose this life abroad— one that’s imperfect but truly meaningful.
Stacy Ennis is a best-selling author, book coach, speaker, and the host of Beyond Better, a podcast that explores how to create a business and life you love. Her book, cowritten with Ron Price, is Growing Influence: A Story of How to Lead with Character, Expertise, and Impact; learn more at stacyennis.com or follow her on Instagram.
Photos courtesy of the writer
