Jennifer Schroeder had had enough.
She was in her fifties, and she'd a long career as a technical consultant in systems, applications, and products software when she saw the promotion she wanted go to a “25-year-old with zero experience,” she says. But what pushed her over the edge is that after she was passed over, Schroeder was asked to train the new hire to do the job management had told her she wasn’t good enough for.
“Here’s what I said: No. Not 'sorry.' Not 'maybe later.' Just no,” Schroeder says in a TikTok that’s since been viewed millions of times.
“In that moment, I just thought, I’m not going to play the game anymore,” she tells us. Two days later, Schroeder says she got pulled into a meeting with her manager and HR to discuss her “attitude.” And when she again refused to train her replacement until she was adequately compensated for the additional responsibility, Schroeder says she began to be managed out.
“They stopped including me in meetings,” Schroeder says in a follow-up post that similarly went viral. “They started giving my projects to absolutely everyone else and documented every tiny thing as performance issues.”
@theunobsolete watched 25-year-old get my promotion then ask me to train her. I said no. Not sorry. Not maybe. Just no. She shocked. Manager furious. HR email about team player. Don’t care. They passed me over for promotion I earned. Gave it to someone with zero experience. Expected me to teach her job they said I wasn’t good enough for. Train my replacement? Pay me. Want 25 years knowledge? Triple salary consulting rates. Want me to smile while you humiliate me? Wrong person. Not your free training program. Not making cheap hire look competent. Not handing over everything so you can pay her half. They said unprofessional. I said appropriately compensated or not sharing. They said not supporting team. I said team didn’t support me. Silence. Second you stop being useful they stop caring. Stop pretending you owe them anything.#promotions #over50 #notateamplayer #genx #isaidno
♬ original sound - The Unobsolete
Unfortunately, Schroeder says she’s been there before — but this time, she was prepared. In a third video, she explains how, after three weeks, she was called into another meeting with HR, where she was offered two weeks' severance. She negotiated six months instead, with full benefits through the end of the year.
Sadly, there’s a reason why Schroeder’s experience resonated so widely online. Ageism is a huge issue in the workplace: According to research by AARP, 64 percent of older workers have seen or experienced age discrimination, but other surveys indicate the rate could be much higher. A survey last year found that 99 percent of employees over 40 reported ageism at work.
We spoke to Schroeder, who’s now 59 and lives in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, about how she fought back and won — and her tips for others facing bias in the office.
You weren’t a big social media user before this. What inspired you to post about this experience?
Schroeder: You know, you wake up one day and you’re in your fifties — or sometimes in your forties, depending on the industry — and it seems like overnight, people just look at you differently. They treat you differently because you have a few lines on your face, or perhaps you don’t see things exactly the same way as your peers because they’re from a different generation. But your value doesn’t change; your experience doesn’t change. It’s a surreal moment. So I posted about being 58 — now 59 — and feeling obsolete, and thinking I can’t be the only one out here who feels this way.
Do you feel like ageism is especially problematic in the tech sector?
Yes. I’d say it’s one of the worst for ageism. I think I started feeling it around when I hit 40. At that point, I started to feel like I was being aged out.
Millions of people have watched your videos. Have many reached out?
A lot of people have been asking me for advice. I’m not a lawyer, and I can’t tell people exactly how to approach their unique situation. But I can tell you that they’ve got a playbook when it comes to managing people out — and it’s only fair that we have one, too. And nobody talks about it, because there’s so much shame associated with it.
Can you share the strategies you used to defend yourself — and some tips that can help others?
The first thing you want to do is document everything that happens. In my case, I forwarded emails to myself. Initially, I was gathering screenshots, but it’s important to have timestamps and other data, so forwarding messages is crucial. The second thing is you want to make sure you get all your performance reviews together, and all evidence of any of your achievements. Because one day you can be the belle of the ball, and the next you’re out.
If you’re put on a performance improvement plan (PIP), which is a common tactic when someone’s being managed out, you want to make sure you have a clear sense of the guidelines and expectations they have for you, because it’s often very vague. Make sure you send emails to HR asking for clarification, which acts as another important piece of documentation. And then once you have your documentation, go to an employment attorney.
The last thing is I think people need to ask themselves whether they want to try to save their job or move on. Either way, there are a lot of things you can do to help yourself in that situation.
What have you been up to since moving on from that job?
I’m building a consulting business where I can help people who are going through this same thing, and I also work with organizations to understand the value of some of the older workers they may be overlooking and letting go.
I hope this helps to get the word out about this epidemic in corporate America. I think people are so afraid to speak out, but it’s a horrible problem that needs to be fixed.
