Check out this excerpt from The Introvert’s Guide to Success in the Workplace.
In many ways, the modern working environment can feel like a minefield for introverts: Open-plan offices, company icebreakers, and the awkwardness of Zoom meetings can be tough for those more inclined to calm, quiet, solo projects.
These more reserved workers often find themselves retreating, not just from water-cooler talk, but from important meetings where their insight can be valuable. As an introvert himself, communication expert and author Mike Bechtle understands the impulse to go on mute and turn your camera off during virtual meetings — but he warns that doing so could stunt your career.
In his forthcoming book, The Introvert’s Guide to Success in the Workplace, Bechtle provides some excellent advice for folks who aren’t comfortable in the spotlight about how to distinguish themselves at work, and we’ve got a look at this valuable insight. In the following excerpt, Bechtle shares simple tips to help introverts stand out and gain recognition for their work without changing the fundamentals of who they are.
“Invisible” is an introvert’s favorite color.
Every introvert is different, so it’s tough to make assumptions that apply to everyone. But in general, we tend to move toward the back while extroverts move toward the front. We pick seats along the edges while extroverts head for the middle. We look forward to staying in while extroverts look forward to going out. We prefer keeping things in our heads while extroverts prefer to let them out.
It takes effort to do things out of our default settings. Introverts aren’t usually comfortable with self-promotion, so it takes an intentional choice for us to overcome inertia and be seen. Extroverts find it easy to be outgoing and visible, and it takes an intentional choice if they recognize a need to step back and let others take the spotlight.
Introverts often slide into the background — possibly doing stellar work and making huge creative and strategic contributions, but we’re not on anyone’s radar. People might recognize us, but we’re not “top of mind.”
To be successful at work, you want to make a difference. When you’re visible, you have an advantage. When you’re not visible, you have a great disadvantage. You might do your job well, but people won’t notice if you’re doing it in the shadows. How can introverts become seen, known, and heard without pretending to be extroverts?
Overcoming Inertia
I was 12 when I contracted mononucleosis and had to stay home from school for six weeks. My parents would pick up my homework from the teacher a couple of times a week and bring it home for me to complete. It was the best six weeks of school I never had. I could work at my own pace without distraction, and I probably learned more during that time than in any classroom experience I’d had up to that point. I was doing good work, but I was off everybody’s radar. I’ll have to admit it was challenging when I went back to school and wasn’t alone anymore.
Being alone like that might feel good, and it might work for a season — and it’s something we settle into easily. Unfortunately, that’s not the way things work in business. It’s OK to be 100 percent introverted but not OK to work in a solitary way 100 percent of the time. Even introverts need other people, especially if we want to be seen.
Working remotely poses a challenge for us. It seems ideal, because we can simply do the work without the same level of social interaction. But after a while, it’s easy to get used to working alone and become too introspective and lose energy. We can settle into our comfortable introversion and get stuck in our quiet lifestyle. Every introvert needs a certain level of interaction to stay energized and connected.
It’s a matter of finding the right balance. Too much isolation is tough to overcome, and going back to an office requires an intentional effort to vanquish inertia. It starts with a mindset shift that moves from “I have to work with others” to “I get to work with others.” It means recognizing the value of working in a low-stimulation environment while appreciating the value of connection — both personally and professionally.
One recent study surveyed therapists for suggestions for making that transition to in-person work successfully:
- Ask questions and plan ahead, which calms the brain.
- Visit the office ahead of time to explore changes, such as your desk being in a new place or new technology being used.
- Don’t minimize what might seem like childish concerns. If you never wear shoes at home, ask permission to do the same at the office. If you miss your pet, get a home camera to check in on them.
- Grieve the loss of your home routine, then focus on what you’re gaining by returning to the office. List the advantages and pursue them as opportunities to stretch and grow.
It’s important to check your self-talk. Interacting with others can feel like a whole lot of work. It can seem like everyone else has never-ending energy and can’t get enough of interacting with each other, and you’re the only one who needs a break to recharge. Keep in mind that your goal is to interact with others in a way that showcases your work and works for you, too.
Make sure you’re getting your own tank refilled by crafting alone time into your schedule. At the same time, make sure you also have time to fill the tanks of others by investing in a few key relationships. Otherwise, you risk becoming like the Dead Sea: Water flows into it but never flows out, so it becomes a place where nothing can live.
The Process of Presence
Let’s say you’re part of a team that meets regularly. Whether it’s in person or virtually, each person tends to engage in a way that’s most comfortable for them. Their individual temperaments will determine the working dynamic of the group — which usually means extroverts take the lead, while introverts have to be more intentional to be heard.
One way to change this is to choose to stretch out of your comfort zone and do something different. That’s an advantage for an introvert, because you can utilize your Master Moves to influence the way the group works together:
- Communicate in your own way. It’s your superpower.
- Anytime you can’t think of anything to say, ask a question. You’re both contributing and steering.
- Keep your contributions simple. Build a reputation for saying a lot in a few words.
- Don’t fear extroverts; build partnerships with them.
- Don’t assume that extroverts are trying to shut you down with their comments. They’re sharing and probably aren’t even thinking about you.
- Connect with other team members one-on-one to build real relationships. Explore both of your accomplishments and experience that might not come out in a group meeting.
- Do stellar work. Make sure others know what you did by sharing without bragging.
In other words, be fully present. When you’re working on a team, don’t just focus on the mechanics of the task. Focus on the uniqueness of each person, acknowledge it, and tap into it. We are especially adept at recognizing this, and it can move us to a whole new level of influence within the group.
It’s common for introverts to share from our expertise, but not from our daily life. Doing so might feel less vulnerable, but it robs you of the best tool you have to build real relationships. Let others get to know you and your life outside of the cubicle.
Always work from your strengths, not from the expectations you think others have of you. Becoming visible isn’t a performance; it’s a process of being yourself and capitalizing on your unique abilities. We tend to focus on the skills we don’t have and wish we did. Instead, focus on the skills you do have. You always have the most power when you’re using your strengths.
For example, introverts are often most effective when we can put our thoughts in writing instead of trying to express them verbally. There’s a place for both methods, but learn to make the most of well-timed emails, appropriate texts, and written expressions of your thoughts. If you have a company newsletter or blog, volunteer to write an article for the next issue. It’s a simple way to use a gift that instantly gives you visibility, even beyond your own team.
For a number of years, I presented seminars for a single division of a huge pharmaceutical corporation. Most of the people in that division got to know me over time as they attended different sessions I would facilitate. I asked the head of that division if they had a company-wide newsletter, and if so, if I could get the name of its editor. I reached out with a proposal to do a short monthly column, covering some aspect of practical productivity in the workplace. The editor agreed, and I wrote that column for several years. As a result, I gained exposure throughout the entire corporation and was repeatedly asked to speak at different events and bring seminars to other divisions as well.
It was a comfortable way to work within my strengths and dramatically increase my visibility within that company. I became their go-to subject matter expert by writing about four paragraphs each month, which usually took about 15 minutes.
Never underestimate the value of working in your strengths. Always look for creative approaches to find visibility without just talking more.
Virtual Visibility
Everything we’ve been discussing applies in a virtual environment as well. If you’re working either part- or full-time from a home office, you’ll discover the built-in challenges. Besides the normal dynamics of finding your voice in meetings, there are the uncomfortable additions of being on a screen with others. It often feels like there are certain people who lead the discussion, speaking over each other, while others languish in silence because they can’t figure out how to get a word in edgewise.
Virtual visibility doesn’t happen just because people can see you on the screen. It takes more intentionality than an in-person meeting, but it’s not difficult. It just requires a little stretching to “show up.”
I’d always been the listener and observer on most virtual calls, operating in my sweet spot. This allowed me to process without talking, but it also kept me in the background. I realized that people who talk in virtual meetings are seen as more competent and have more influence, so I knew I needed to contribute. Here’s what helped me the most:
I changed my mindset. Usually when I thought of bringing something up, it felt like I was doing it to change how others perceived me. I wondered how they would respond if I said something in the meeting. What will they think of me? Is this worth bringing up? What if I mess up? It was all about me. So I worked on speaking up in order to contribute something of value, not just to be seen. That simple mindset change gave me a legitimate reason to say something that others would need and remember.
I went for quality of words, not quantity. I discovered that I didn’t need to be constantly contributing throughout the meeting to become visible. If I simply stayed mentally engaged in the conversation, I could always think of a clarifying question to ask or perspective to suggest. If I spoke once in each meeting, it put me on people’s radar.
I asked for the agenda (as mentioned earlier). There might not be one in writing, but I would at least reach out to the leader to see if I could get an idea of what we’d be covering. That way I could think through the issues ahead of time so I could focus on at least one area where I might be able to add value.
I wrote comments in the chat section. Sometimes I might have something to say but felt awkward just speaking up in a large virtual group. I found that if I added a concise thought in the chat, there would be a good chance the leader would pick up on it and ask me to comment verbally. I could then add a brief clarification that I was prepared for. (I also learned not to comment on other people’s comments, such as writing “Great idea” or “I agree.” Anything I wrote needed to add value to the discussion.)
I went first. I often had a good idea to share but was waiting for the right opportunity to mention it. Either that time never came, or someone else shared the same idea first. I learned that if I contributed early, it would establish me as an active participant — even if it was the only thing I shared. Often people would refer to my comment since it was one of the first things they heard in the meeting.
I would ask a question. It’s easier to ask a thought-provoking question than to come up with new ideas. “We’ve been talking about (item) . . . what if we thought about it from this perspective?” Questions carry an expectation of further discussion. Comments can simply be ignored.
I would mention the elephant in the room. I learned that if I was concerned about the direction the discussion was going, there were always others feeling the same way. When I carefully brought it up, it would open the door for the others to add their perspective.
With the right perspective, virtual meetings can become a great platform for introverts without having to change who we are.
Excerpted from The Introvert’s Guide to Success in the Workplace, used by permission from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.
