Author, food writer, and recipe developer Kiera Wright-Ruiz has an opinion about the quintessential American experience. In her hybrid cookbook-memoir, My [Half] Latinx Kitchen: Half Recipes, Half Stories, All Latin American, Wright-Ruiz maintains that the kitschy dinner-theater experience known as Medieval Times may actually be the happiest place on earth (sorry, Disney) — and the perfect place for non-American visitors to soak in U.S. culture.
WELCOME TO AMERICA! ¡VAMOS A MEDIEVAL TIMES!
They say Disney World is the happiest place on earth, but I think it’s actually a 15-minute drive down the road. Located in an unassuming parking lot across the street from a Walmart Supercenter is a large, vine-covered castle that spans more than three city blocks. The building is ornamented with decorative shields, each adorned with its own colorful crest. A short stroll across the drawbridge and past the iron gates is Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament, a fantastical meal-and-show experience that transports diners to the Middle Ages.
We always go here when my grandma’s family members visit the US for the first time from Mexico — I don’t think there’s a more perfect way to experience American culture than from inside a fake European castle in Kissimmee, Florida.
Stepping inside the fortress does feel like entering a time machine. But instead of taking me back to the Middle Ages and greeting me with ornate unicorn tapestries and the plague, it’s a gift shop straight out of the ‘90s selling Nintendo Zelda shields and plastic crowns. As soon as I’m checked in, one of the staff members, who are dressed in medieval-themed outfits (corsets for women and tunics for men), rolls a colorful piece of thick paper into a crown and hands it to me — I promptly place it on top of my head. Everyone in the same party is given the same color crown, each of the six colors representing a specific knight’s “royal” court. We cheer on our assigned knights as they compete to see who’s the bravest. But before the show starts, the queen comes out and greets the us commoners from her Hall of Arms throne, allowing for photo ops by a not-so-medieval photographer (and those images are available to purchase at the end of the night, next to the $250 swords).
Stepping inside the dim room, I catch my first peek at the huge sand-covered arena, the Superdome of theatrical medieval fighting. Three sides of the arena are surrounded with bleacher-like seats. I shuffle into a row until I’m greeted by my place setting: an iron plate, iron bowl, tall iron mug, and no utensils; it looks like a scene straight out of Game of Thrones. The lights darken and Her Majesty welcomes us to her castle. In between the knights jousting, falcon tricks (yes, the animal), sword fights, horse prancing (yes, again: the animal), and overall loose plot, the feast is served.
First comes the tomato bisque, which is poured into the iron bowl. To eat it, I have to hold the handle jutting out at a right angle from the side and sip on it slowly as if it were hot tea. Next, the waiter comes out bringing tubs of halved roasted chickens, herb potatoes, steamed corn, and buttered garlic toasts. One of each is tossed onto my large iron plate. Then it’s time to dig in with my original utensils: my hands. If someone asks for a fork, a server might respond with “What’s that?” — because we are in the 11th century, after all. I wash it all down with the unlimited soda refills. My tall mug gets greasier with every sip, as I struggle to grip it with my oily chicken fingers. No feast is complete without dessert, which is a random slice of cake that tastes like it’s from Costco. I don’t remember feeling good after eating at Medieval Times, but I’ve never felt more alive.
Out of the 10 different Medieval Times locations, I’ve been to 2. While New Jersey’s castle and arena has its charm, with slight differences, the Florida one will always be my favorite. (It’s also the original castle that started the franchise in 1983.)
I grew up knowing that my grandma’s family in Mexico was on a much tighter budget than us. The only times I got to see them were during the two trips we went to Mexico to visit, and they didn’t come to visit us in the U.S. for more than a decade. Finally, after years of saving, my grandma’s sister and her young daughter were the first to make the journey to Florida, their first trip to America.
The Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, New York City, Yellowstone National Park…There’s so much to do in the U.S., a country full of history and natural beauty. How do you boil down an entire country’s experience into a week in one city? Besides spending time with my grandma, they wanted to do only one thing — go to Disney World. But while we were in the greater Orlando area, we took them to our favorite place, Medieval Times.
Honestly, Disney shares a lot of the features that make Medieval Times the perfect way to experience the U.S.: the capitalism, the high price, the overindulgence, and of course, the fun. But Disney feels too expected. And while $100-ish allows you all-day access to Disney, Medieval Times costs $67.95 per adult, which only gets you two hours to gawk at knights wielding swords that slightly spark when they hit each other. It’s gritty, competitive, very silly, and technically, much more expensive by the hour. But in many ways, Medieval Times just feels more American to me than Mickey — whose polished shoes and tidy bow tie embody a sophistication that the knights do not have — could ever be.
While the dinner and show are very loosely based on European history, the extravagance and oily chicken fingers scream red, white, and blue. Cheering for your designated knight throughout the show usually means you’re screaming like you’re watching the Super Bowl. The mismatching time periods, with the Nintendo Zelda shields and rainbow light-up princess tiaras (both overpriced, by the way), feel similar to how we in the U.S. embellish history to best fit our needs. And the location of every Medieval Times castle — in a sprawling parking lot sandwiched between the drab landmarks of suburbia — offers arguably a more accurate portrayal of what the U.S. looks like than any viewing point around the Grand Canyon. Crammed in a plastic seat gripping a roasted half chicken, wearing a loose-fitting paper crown, and screaming at the top of my lungs for the green knight to win? This is America.
We’ve gone to Medieval Times every time my grandma’s sister has come back to the States. And if it’s someone else’s first time in the U.S., they tag along, too. It may seem silly to think that someone’s only cultural experience of the U.S. is a reenactment of Europe’s Middle Ages, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Excerpted from the book My [Half] Latinx Kitche: Half Recipes, Half Stories, All Latin American by Kiera Wright-Ruiz. Copyright © 2025 by Kiera Wright-Ruiz. From Harvest Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Reprinted by permission.
