Welcome to the 101 course on becoming a grandparent.
A few months ago, Katie joined the ranks of one of the most elite, respected clubs in the world: grandparenthood. As you may remember from the announcement in Wake-Up Call, Katie’s eldest daughter, Ellie, gave birth to her first child in March. Of course, Katie approached this new role in exactly the kind of way you might expect of a career journalist: with a whole lot of research and on-the-ground fieldwork.
Back in February, Katie issued a call to Wake-Up Call’s esteemed grandparents, asking them to send her the best and most essential advice for anyone moving into this special time of life. And boy, did the grandparents deliver. Below, you’ll find pretty much anything you need to know about becoming a nana, mimi, grandma, or Gogo (which is what Katie decided to call herself).
How to navigate your relationship with your adult child
“Follow their lead, always! At the end of the day, they’re the parents, not you. I always ask prior to arrival what the latest do’s and don’ts are for the kids. That way, I’m always on the up-and-up.” -Kelly
“If you’re in the new parents’ home, never, never, never talk to your spouse out loud about their parenting style, even if they’re out of the house! With all of the recording devices out today (baby monitor cameras, ring doorbells, etc.), they’re likely to learn or hear what you’ve said — and the outcome is not going in your favor!” -Jill
“Never start a sentence like this: ‘Well, in my day, we did it this way…’” -Bob
“My policy with my children is simple: Love ‘em and leave ‘em be. You helped make your grandchild’s parents as great as they are now, so sit back and let them do their job!” -Beth
How to help with a newborn
“Ask what the birth plan is and how you can help support it. Oh, and don’t be surprised if you’re not in it!” -Laura
“Try to serve as a gatekeeper for unexpected visitors, and make sure to check in periodically on Mom’s mental health. Getting Mom out of the house in those early days is huge. Taking a walk, going to Target, getting coffee, going out for 30 mins…anything to reduce the feeling of isolation.” -Sabrina
“Make sure to empathize with the new parents, and remind them that taking care of a baby is a hard job. It helps to boost their self-confidence, especially as the hormones are raging and they’re totally sleep deprived.” -Gail
“Many grandparents give a sleep consultant as a baby gift!” -Lynn
How to keep your own life afloat with your new grandparenting responsibilities
“Get your core and biceps in shape! All the baby equipment is a challenge to open and close, lift, install, and transport.” -Sarah
“Don’t over-promise what you will and will not do.” -Kathleen
“Keep your bragging to a minimum. People don’t want to hear about your grandchildren nearly as much as you think they do — especially if you’re giving details about how smart they are.” -Mary
How to stay connected if you don’t live close to your grandkids
“Grandma’s house should be a place for fun. We turned our living room into a playroom with lots of ride-on toys, books, and other cool stuff too big to fit into my kids’ NYC apartments.” –Judy
“If you can, start a savings fund for each grandchild. You can add to it for each birthday and Christmas.” -Joan
“When your grandchild is about three, initiate a ‘summer camp’ where each grandchild visits your home without their parents or siblings. You’ll get special time catering to each child’s age and desires. We started this with our first grandchild at age three, and he’s now 17 years old. We have four others, and all of the kids love being spoiled.” -Linda
How to create a strong relationship with your grandchild
“Every time you’re with your grandchild, just sit and listen to them. Ask questions and be truly interested in everything they’re saying. Don’t feel like you need to entertain them constantly, and do make them feel heard.” -Phyllis
“There’s no need for lavish trips or high-tech toys. An ice cream cone in the park will be a huge treat…for both of you! Memories from a shared experience will always outlast a new toy.” -Maureen
“As a retired teacher and Mimi, there’s nothing more valuable than precious time reading to a grandbaby — not to mention the introduction to thousands of words to add to their vocabulary. It’s a simple thing with enormous payoffs!” -Dawn
“My grandkids love hearing my ‘stories.’ They beg me to tell them stories of things that happened to me when I was their age. The more detailed I get, the better! Katie, you’ve been all over the world, and met some of the most incredible people who have ever lived. You’ll have the greatest stories ever!” –May
“Always remember: They’re your grandchildren, not your children. Spoil them as you deem appropriate.” –Bob
“Treasure every moment you have with the little person(s).” -Mel
“Be the ‘fun’ grandparent — the one who makes funny noises, gets down on the floor with them, and later on tells the silliest of jokes.” -Mel
“Be a comfort station for all pain and distress and just generally when he/she has a bad day.” -Mel
“Be ready, willing, and able to teach them almost anything from your vast storage of knowledge and experience (again, particularly the fun things).” -Mel
“Be the beacon of love for the whole family — your child, their partner, their kid(s) — and don’t ever be afraid or hesitant to show it.” –Mel
