Those repetitive thought patterns? They can be extremely tough to change.
In a world where infinite volumes of information are available at your fingertips 24/7, it can be easy to overthink every little decision you make. From the macro ones (like whether or not to go vegetarian, or picking the place where you want to retire) to the smaller, everyday decisions (like if it’s time to replace that tired living room couch), it’s easy to fall into repetitive thought patterns that keep you up at night, fretting about which choice is best. Luckily, there are experts who study this behavior, and who are able to guide you past the nightmare of overthinking — and the KCM team recently spoke to one.
Adam Grant has created an entire career out of analyzing, and then explaining, how our brains work, and how we can alter our thought patterns to create happier and more meaningful lives. He’s a social scientist, professor, and public speaker who has authored multiple bestselling books, including Think Again, Originals, and Give and Take.
In a recent conversation with KCM, Grant shared his tips for how to combat overthinking on a daily basis, no matter which type of thinker you tend to be.
How to determine if you’re overthinking something
In conversation with KCM, Grant shared his two-question framework for deciding whether he’s overthinking a decision: “The first question to ask yourself is how consequential the decision you’re about to make is,” he says. “Ask yourself how high the stakes are. And the second question is, how reversible is this decision? Are you about to walk through a locked door, or a revolving door?”
These questions will help you clarify exactly how important the decision you’re making is, and whether you’ll have an opportunity to change your mind in the future. “If you’re dealing with a highly consequential irreversible decision, you have to pause and think again, because it really matters,” he explains. “And in those circumstances, you can’t easily change your mind tomorrow. But if you relax either of those two conditions — if the stakes are lower or the reversibility is higher — then you’re probably fine with just acting on the best information you have, as long as you stay open to doubting what you currently know.”
Grant explained that this two-question framework creates four quadrants (high and irreversible/high and reversible, and so on) based on your response to each question — and proves that there’s only one quadrant (the scenario where there are high, irreversible stakes) where you really should be thinking again and again about a decision. But in the other scenarios, you can think, make a choice, and move on.
How to distinguish between rumination and reflection
Another helpful way to curb overthinking is to distinguish between rumination and reflection.
“What differentiates rumination from reflection is that when you reflect, you’re actually gaining a new insight or a fresh perspective,” says Grant. “I find myself recommending this a lot to students and leaders: Take the last 5 or 10 minutes that you’ve been reviewing the same situation or the same decision, and ask yourself, Did I have a eureka moment? Did I get a new lens?“
If the answer is no, Grant explains, then you’re probably ruminating, and it’s time to end that line of thinking. “Try to read something new or talk to someone new,” he says. “You have to force yourself to stretch your comfort zone or to get a new perspective. I think that rule is extremely helpful.”
The challenge, of course, is holding yourself accountable for these mindset changes. If you find it difficult to put new mental frameworks into action, then it might be time to get an accountability buddy.
“If you’re having trouble, you need to partner with somebody who also struggles with this,” Grant says. “You can basically give each other permission to change topics. I think our minds can often behave like a radio station — if you’re listening to a song you don’t like, you usually change the channel, right? You don’t sit there, repeating the song over and over. We probably need to do that with our own thoughts a little more often than we do.”
