Summer can be stressful for kids and teens with eating disorders. Here’s how you can support them.
No matter how old you are, those first signs of summer can be intoxicating: outdoor picnics, pool parties, and some much-needed warmer weather. But for anyone with an eating disorder — or for their loved ones — those same joyful activities can make the season something to dread.
“Summer can be a vulnerable time for eating disorders to pop up,” says Equip therapist Emily Boyle, MA, LAC, NCC. “Routines change, school ends, warm weather calls for lighter clothing, and days become less structured.”
Whether your child is returning home from college and you suspect something is wrong or you’re trying to juggle the logistics of summer camp, there are a multitude of factors to consider. Luckily, with the right tools and resources, families navigating recovery can tackle the toughest potential scenarios this summer. Here’s what our experts say:
How to navigate a return home from college
When you haven’t seen your college kid for several weeks or months, any sort of physical, psychological, or emotional change can present loud and clear. For some parents, that means spotting signs of an eating disorder.
According to Brittney Lauro, LCSW, therapist at Equip, some core warning signs of an eating disorder include:
- Physical changes: Your child has had a sudden shift in weight (either lost or gained weight).
- Over-focus on shape/weight and control: Having a significant number of thoughts and conversations regarding body image, appearance, and how one might try to control this through diet, exercise, etc.
- Dietary restraint: Cutting out certain foods or food groups, or reducing the quantity of foods being eaten.
- Physiological changes: Changes in heart rate, feeling dizzy, complaints of feeling cold, etc.
Equip family mentor Lisa Stein agrees that parents of college kids returning home for the summer should be on the lookout for changes. “If your child looks gaunt or thinner than when they left, that’s the first warning sign; it’s unusual for kids to lose weight in their first year of college,” Stein says. “It is a concern if they’re sleeping much of the day and missing meals or if they’re preoccupied with exercising. If you are finding large amounts of food missing in the morning, your child may be binging in the night after not eating regularly during the day. And if your child excuses themselves to the bathroom multiple times during and shortly after meals, they may be purging.”
While knowing the warning signs is one thing, broaching a conversation with your child can be incredibly challenging. Stein emphasizes that it’s still important to stay vigilant and to trust your instincts. “If your child is defensive when you ask them about any of these red flags, claiming they’re an adult and deserve privacy, I would continue to keep an eye on the behaviors and bring in a physician if necessary,” she says.
How to navigate summer camp
“Knowing where your child is in recovery and/or what their relationship with eating and their body is can really help make informed decisions about summer camp,” Lauro says. “If it feels like the answer is ‘Yes we’re ready for camp,’ make a plan with your child and the camp to help support the continuation of a regular pattern of eating. Talk about different scenarios that may come up and work with your child to help them feel prepared to navigate a variety of situations from eating to body focused/diet culture conversations with friends.”
If you’re not sure how to create an action plan with your child, Lauro suggests considering these factors first:
- Know your camp. What’s the staffing and supervision situation like? Who can your child go to for help, and who can you check in with if you become concerned about your child?
- Find out how meals and snacks work at your camp. What’s the schedule like? Do staff sit with campers during meal time? What happens if a camper isn’t eating, or is hungry in between typical meal times?
- Check out the physical activities offered. Is the camp highly competitive, or focused on fun and team-building?
- Remember: You know your child best. “Be sure to check in with your child before leaving for camp and while they’re at camp,” Lauro says. “Help them navigate any challenging situations that might arise — anything from body image comments, to what to do if a friend isn’t eating and how to continue to nourish themselves, to feeling comfortable with dressing room situations.”
Equip Director of Lived Experience JD Ouellette adds that it’s important to consider questions regarding a child’s level of independence. “With any camp, I would want to speak to everyone from the camp director to dietary to counseling to gauge their knowledge and protocols around eating disorders and the level of support they can provide for your child,” she says. “I would not send a child with a history of eating disorder to camp without disclosing that information.”
How to navigate family vacations
Vacations can be a great opportunity for more intimate family bonding and allow parents more supervision over a child in recovery — but they can also be incredibly stressful and require strategizing. “When our children are babies and toddlers, we joke that we don’t go on vacations, we take trips. The same is true of a child with an eating disorder,” Ouellette says. “You can be successful on vacation, as long as you understand that your life is still organized around supporting recovery. Except now with better scenery and more potentially triggering situations — planning ahead is what will help you be successful.”
Any parent to a child in recovery knows that consistency is key — but consistency can be tough to maintain if a family vacation is part of the summer itinerary. Lauro suggests families aim to keep to routines as much as possible by:
- Sticking to a regular pattern of eating (i.e. three meals and three snacks)
- Focusing on not going more than 3-4 hours without eating
- Traveling with accessible, convenient, and portable food options like granola bars, nuts, and crackers
- Packing recovery-oriented clothing that your loved one can feel comfortable in, isn’t too snug, and doesn’t have a close association with their eating disorder
“If you can’t do these things, maybe wait until next year when your family can be more spontaneous. For us, it was several years before vacations were enjoyable, and I still follow many of these guidelines now,” Stein says.
Focus on fun
Despite the potential challenges of summer during recovery, the season can still hold promise and meaningful connection. “Remember that although summer can be a challenging time for kids in treatment or recovery, it can also be a time of fun!” Boyle says. “Incorporate summer activities into ways you motivate your child — a trip to the beach, gardening, a day at the pool, going to the carnival, spending more time with peers, etc.”
For parents who feel stuck or frustrated, it’s helpful to see the season as a chance to develop essential skills and to lean on others. “You know your child best; trust your gut,” Lauro says. “Summer is a transition time and we know that in recovery, transition times can be tough. Remember that a lapse or a setback doesn’t mean it will be a full relapse.”
