Hill appears to demand that his then-girlfriend remove “sexy” photos from her social media.
A screenshot of text messages allegedly sent by the actor Jonah Hill to his then-girlfriend Sarah Brady has sparked a conversation about emotional abuse in relationships. Among other things, Hill tells Sarah — a semi-professional surfer — that if she “needs” to surf with men, post pictures of herself in a bathing suit, or continue friendships with women in “unstable” places, then he isn’t the “right partner” for her.
In every case, Hill appears to cast Brady’s normal, harmless behavior — which was consistent with how it’d been before their relationship — as problematic and a reflection of her lack of respect for him.
Brady calls messages from Jonah Hill a “warning to all girls”
Brady posted what appeared to be a screen recording of a text conversation with Hill on her Instagram stories on Friday. She captioned the video, “This is a warning to all girls. If your partner is talking to you like this make an exit plan.”
The pair were first rumored to be dating in the summer of 2021, and broke up the following year. Hill is yet to comment on Brady’s allegations.
In part of the recording, Hill appears to be sending screenshots of photos of Brady in a bikini, and asking her to remove them from her social media.
“I’ve made my boundaries clear,” Hill allegedly wrote. “You refuse to let go of some of [the pictures] and you’ve made that clear. And I hope that makes you happy.”
Messages appear to show Jonah Hill’s controlling behavior
Brady replied with an attempt to mollify Hill, explaining that she had already “removed” three posts, except her “best surfing video.” She then asked whether he’d “feel better if the cover frame was different”.
Hill allegedly replied: “Yes one that isn’t of your a** in a thong.”
Brady replied: “Not a thong but k,” to which Hill retorts: “And as far as other pictures you in a bathing suit surfing or not… I’m done. There’s tons I’m just going back the past month.”
Jonah Hill presents super-restrictive, inappropriate conditions for a relationship as his “boundaries”
In one shot, Brady shows a message in which Hill apparently lists the conditions under which he’s prepared to stay with her. He describes these as “boundaries.”
In her stories since, Brady has pointed out that Hill was interested in her in the first place because of her social media profile, and only decided her online presence was disrespectful after they started dating.
Brady also described the difficulty of asserting herself with Hill, who appeared to have appropriated popular “therapy talk” to manipulate her. She wrote about Hill’s “unethical” Netflix documentary Stutz, which he made with his therapist. The film appeared to blur the professional lines between doctor and patient. Brady noted that she also struggled with mental health issues — but it seems that in their relationship, only Hill’s mental health mattered, and he projected the responsibility for it onto her.
“I too struggle with mental health,” Brady wrote. “It’s been a year of healing & growth with the help of loved ones and doctors to get back to living my life without guilt, shame, and self-judgment for things as small as surfing in a swimsuit rather than a more conservative wetsuit.”
Here’s what the experts have to say
Therapists and relationship experts have been quick to point out that Hill’s apparent interpretation of “boundaries” is misguided. While boundaries are absolutely a healthy part of relationships, you can only impose boundaries on yourself. What Hill appears to have attempted however is to create a set of restrictive and controlling rules that only applied to his partner.
Counselor Jeff Guenther, known online as ‘TherapyJeff’, explained on TikTok: “It’s important we go over this misuse in therapy language… and how it can be super problematic as it masks controlling behavior under a commonly accepted positive concept, in this case ‘boundaries’, making it harder for the person on the receiving end (Sarah) to challenge it.”
“A boundary is a healthy limit a person sets for themselves to protect their wellbeing and integrity,” Jeff continues.
