Experts weigh in how Girl Dinners promote disordered eating.
In late May of 2023, a woman named Olivia Maher made a quick TikTok showing off a modest assemblage of snacks: A pile of red grapes, a wedge of cheese, a jar of cornichons, a couple of slices of bread, and a hunk of butter. “This is my dinner,” Maher says, panning her phone camera over the food. “I call it ‘girl dinner,’ or medieval peasant.”
Unexpectedly, Maher’s simple celebration of her thrown-together meal has taken TikTok by storm. Inspired girls and women have taken to posting videos showing off what they proclaim to be Girl Dinner — a random assortment of little bites to graze upon when eating alone, with no obligation to cook for others. The phenomenon has gotten so popular that the hashtag #girldinner has 443.6 million views; chicken chain Popeyes has even debuted its own Girl Dinner combo meal. Everyone seems to love the trend — except some critics who are calling it problematic.
Detractors say that Girl Dinner perpetuates disordered eating. So to get to the bottom of the issue, we spoke to a dietician and to Kate Willsky, senior content writer and strategist at virtual eating disorder treatment program, Equip. These experts break down why simple snack plates have caused such controversy. Plus, they have tips on how to participate in the trend in a healthy way.
Girl Dinners started out as self-love — but quickly became problematic
After Maher first posted her plate, other women followed suit because they were celebrating their eating habits. Abbey Sharp, RD, a TikTok creator who blogs and writes recipes at Abbey’s Kitchen, says that Girl Dinner focuses on a very specific type of liberation.
“Girl Dinner has good intentions at its core,” she says. “It’s a celebration of eating unapologetically for our own satisfaction, which is something a lot of women rarely do.”
The problem? Sharp says that the trend changed as women gradually started to show off much smaller meals: “The concept became problematic as so many young creators started posting very low-calorie foods on a plate and calling it ‘dinner.’”
When Sharp says “low calorie,” she’s not exaggerating. In the TikTok above, a young woman shows off a Girl Dinner composed of a McDonald’s soda, a single Babybel cheese, and a vape.
In another TikTok, another young woman films her Girl Dinner — a “no sugar added” popsicle paired with a can of Diet Coke.
In countless other videos, girls, and women catalog their tiny dinners, which all too often include a nicotine vape in place of real food. The videos look suspiciously like “thinspiration” — defined in a 2018 study as “images and text promoting thinness,” which includes “messages encouraging reduction of eating.”
How can these TikToks really perpetuate disordered eating?
We hear about the relationship between media and body image a lot, but you might wonder how a four-second clip of a snack plate can possibly have that much power. According to experts, however, TikTok — and social media in general — applies pressure through competition and repetition.
Sure, Willsky concedes that some women on TikTok may post their low-calorie plates as a joke. “[Some creators may be] trying to take a satirical or funny angle on it — i.e., saying ‘birth control’ is their Girl Dinner.”
That said, Willsky argues that Girl Dinners also likely got too small because of “the competitive aspect of social media — people making smaller and smaller Girl Dinners to one-up the variants before them.”
Willsky adds that now, Girl Dinner’s wholesome roots no longer matter in the face of developing toxicity: “In general, any sort of content on social media that shows exactly what a person is eating, like ‘What I eat in a day’ videos, can promote disordered thoughts and behaviors because of the comparison it stokes, even if the content itself is pretty neutral.”
She explains, “People who are struggling with or vulnerable to eating disorders might see these meals and begin judging their own meals: Am I eating too much? Look how little she’s eating, I can eat even less. The competitive and comparative aspects of social media make Girl Dinner a potential problem.”
Sharp adds that Girl Dinner clips can be especially damaging to young users: “When a young girl sees a few veggies and a can of tuna called ‘dinner,’ they may think Wow, I clearly am eating way too much every meal.”
And this evidence isn’t just anecdotal. A 2023 review of 50 studies spanning 17 countries confirmed that social media usage can easily lead to body image issues, disordered eating, and poor mental health; being a girl heightened one’s vulnerability. The study deemed social media a “self-perpetuating cycle of risk.”
How to safely embrace your Girl Dinner
You’ve watched the clips and read statistics about social media and eating habits. But that doesn’t change the fact that you absolutely relish those nights when your partner is working late and you get to graze on a random mish-mash of pita, leftover butter chicken, guacamole, and kimchi.
Just to be clear, these experts say that there’s nothing inherently wrong with a snack plate. In fact, they think that a Girl Dinner can be a useful tool to help assess your own needs.
Willsky points out that the spirit of Girl Dinner isn’t about the size of the dinner; instead, it’s all about the attitude that you have when you eat. This impromptu, nonchalant meal should make you feel carefree and happy.
“Girl Dinner isn’t an excuse to eat less at dinner,” she says. “It’s an opportunity to think outside the box, to throw off any domestic expectations or obligatory cooking that you don’t want to do, and instead to reach for whatever in your kitchen your body is craving.”
Sharp agrees that the trend is a great way to get in touch with what your body requires. She promotes adapting your personalized snack plate to your cravings, dislikes, lifestyle, energy level, and relationship with food.
“I invite people to think about foods that make you feel good in the combinations that excite you,” Sharp says. “Some women derive great pleasure from the act of cooking, so their Girl Dinner might be a slow-cooked stew or pasta sauce. Others hate cooking, so their dream Girl Dinner would be cereal and toast. Every dinner is a reflection of an individual’s relationship with cooking and food, which is something we often don’t even have time to acknowledge.”
As Sharp says, the purpose of Girl Dinner isn’t dishing up the smallest portions. Instead, it should give you permission to ask, “What foods would you actually choose if given free rein?”
