We’ve all been there — standing at life’s crossroads, feeling stuck between where we are and where we want to be. Maybe it’s contemplating a career change, navigating a relationship transition, or simply feeling that persistent nudge that something needs to change, even if we can’t quite name what it is.
These moments of uncertainty, what scholars call “liminal spaces,” can feel overwhelming. But what if these in-between times aren’t just uncomfortable waiting periods, but actually hold the key to our next chapter?
The power of the in-between
Liminal space — that threshold between what was and what will be — often triggers our deepest anxieties. It can look like the career professional questioning their chosen path after 15 years, the empty-nester rediscovering their identity, or the recent graduate facing possibilities that feel more paralyzing than liberating. These transitions strip away our familiar routines and roles, leaving us feeling unanchored.
Yet there’s hidden magic in this discomfort. In my own experience, while experiences with ambiguity and liminal space feel uncomfortable, those have been the moments that put me on the verge of discovery. Like a caterpillar in its chrysalis, our greatest transformations often happen when we’re in this fluid, undefined state. The key is learning to navigate it with intention, rather than rushing to escape it.
Three questions that can help you move forward
When the path forward feels foggy, here are three simple but powerful questions that can help you find your way:
“What if?”
Start by giving yourself permission to dream without constraints. This isn’t about crafting the perfect plan — it’s about opening yourself to possibilities you might have dismissed too quickly. What if you could design your ideal day without worrying about practicality? What if money weren’t an obstacle? What if failure wasn’t possible?
Consider Laura, who had spent decades in corporate finance, but felt increasingly disconnected from her work. Her “What if?” moment came when she allowed herself to revisit her childhood passion for marine biology. While she didn’t ultimately become a marine biologist, this exercise helped her identify what she truly missed — being connected to nature and making a tangible difference in environmental conservation. Today, she leads sustainable investment initiatives at her firm, bringing together her financial expertise with her environmental passion.
“So what?”
This question can feel harsh at first, but it helps you sift through your “What if?” scenarios to find what truly resonates. It’s about understanding the deeper meaning behind your dreams and aspirations. When you imagine a different career, what is it really about? Recognition? Creative freedom? Making a difference? Often, what we think we want is actually pointing to a deeper desire.
An example is Sarah, a successful attorney who thought she wanted to quit law entirely. When she explored the “So what?” behind her dissatisfaction, she realized it wasn’t law she wanted to leave — it was the disconnection from helping people directly. This insight led her to transition to family law mediation, where she now helps couples navigate divorce with dignity and grace.
“Now what?”
This is where dreams meet reality. Rather than jumping straight to major life changes, “Now what?” helps you identify the small, intermediary manageable steps that move you forward while honoring your current responsibilities and constraints.
Maybe you can’t quit your job to travel the world, but you can start a travel blog about weekend adventures. Perhaps you’re not ready to launch your own business, but you can take an online course in entrepreneurship. “Now what?” helps you identify ways to prototype your idea before you make that big leap. Each small step creates momentum and clarity for the next one.
Embrace the journey
The beauty of this “three questions” approach is that it works whether you’re facing a major life transition or simply feeling stuck in a rut. These questions create a bridge between dreaming and doing, between where you are and where you want to be.
Remember:
– You don’t need to have it all figured out to take the first step
– Small actions can lead to significant insights
– The “messy middle” is where real transformation happens
– It’s okay to adjust your course as you learn more about what you want
Make Peace with Uncertainty
Perhaps the greatest gift of liminal space is that it teaches us to become comfortable with uncertainty. When we learn to sit with the discomfort of not knowing, to trust in the process of unfolding, we develop a resilience that serves us far beyond the current transition.
The next time you find yourself in that uncomfortable space of not knowing, try sitting with these three questions. Let them guide you not just to answers, but to a deeper understanding of yourself and what you truly want. After all, sometimes not knowing what to do is actually the first step to discovering exactly what you need.
