The problem is not, and never will be, your body.
While standing in the dressing room at your favorite store, you notice something: The two styles of jeans you picked, both in the same size, look like they were designed for two entirely different bodies — one waist is noticeably smaller than the other. You try on one pair and it fits like a glove, but you can’t get the other above your thighs. What gives?
Unfortunately, this is a nearly universal experience for so many people: You’re one size at one retailer, two sizes smaller at another, and maybe four sizes larger at another. Your size might even vary across different styles from the same brand. It’s more confusing than a TV show that jumps backward and forward in time abruptly and expects you to keep up without ever explaining why.
No matter how hard you try to nail down your numerical size, you just can’t seem to find one number that fits across the board. Not only is this frustrating from a shopping standpoint, but it can take a toll on your mental health and self-confidence.
According to a study from the University of New Hampshire, clothing size is a factor women consider in regard to accepting their bodies, proving that self-worth and numerical sizing are unfortunately linked. Other studies found that requiring a larger option than expected not only reduces self-esteem but also creates an overall negative attitude toward clothing.
Thinking you’re one size and not fitting into it can tank your self-esteem and cause lasting damage, even though the real issue is how the garment is manufactured.
What are clothing sizes based on?
The problem is not, and never will be, your body. The fashion industry is notorious for glorifying thin, tall body types, but it’s also infamous for creating sizing systems that aren’t consistent. According to Susan Sokolowski, Ph.D., product design professor and researcher specializing in the intersection of the body and design, there actually isn’t a universal sizing standard that brands follow. “There is no requirement for size standardization across apparel brands,” she says.
Not only is there no universal system, but some brands also don’t always adhere to their own cockamamie sizing strategy, which is why you might end up with two of the exact same shirt from the same store that somehow fit differently. (Literally the most annoying shopping outcome ever.) “Some brands do not diligently follow their own sizing charts/systems,” Dr. Sokolowski says.
She explains that there are several ways clothing brands can create sizing systems, but many of them aren’t accurate. To make things even more confusing, some retailers use vanity sizing, which is a practice of “mislabeling garments with smaller-than-accurate sizes with the goal of convincing consumers that their bodies are smaller” — in case you weren’t convinced the industry glorifies thinness.
Unfortunately, most brands have a “body type.” “A brand may focus their sizing on an athletically built body shape or certain age range,” Dr. Sokolowski explains. “Some brands use fit models, or the measurements from one smaller person, and develop a linear grade of measures from that.” From there, the sizes scale up linearly — but you probably already know that body diversity isn’t so formulaic. This is why you have shirts that fit your chest but have comically long sleeves and pant legs that graze your ankles but are topped with a gaping waist. “As people get larger, their arms and legs don’t grow longer,” Dr. Sokolowski points out.
Measurements from popular past products can also be used as benchmarks for new ones, companies could use competitors’ measurements, or just go with whatever a factory’s sizing system is. The best but least used sizing system development includes extensive research through in-person measurements and 3D scans of bodies. However, this requires a lot of time and effort to develop, which deters most brands.
Even with a standardized sizing system across brands, things wouldn’t be perfect. “Each time you design a new product or change the materials of an existing product, the fit is affected,” Dr. Sokolowski says. You can’t expect a pair of jeans to fit exactly the same as a pair of leggings — in the same measurements, one could feel like absolutely nothing while the other feels like cement lined with sandpaper. “It’s possible, over time with digital technologies and tools like artificial intelligence, that we can get closer to standardization, however, there’s a lot of work to be done to make this happen effectively.”
How clothing size inconsistencies affect the shopper
All of this is to say that if a sizing system at a store doesn’t seem to make sense, it’s because it doesn’t. Nothing is wrong with your legs because a pair of jeans hugs your thighs but won’t button. Your arms aren’t too short and too wide at the same time. Unfortunately, we can say this to ourselves endlessly but that doesn’t fix the fact that we have to put clothing on our body, and when you’re constantly faced with a flawed system, it’s hard not to blame the person staring back at you in the mirror. Experiences like these aren’t just the cause of fleeting frustration, they can also change how you perceive yourself. Dawnn Karen, fashion psychologist and professor at New York’s Fashion Institute of Technology, has seen this first-hand while shopping with clients and family members.
“Size variability erodes self-esteem,” Karen says. “It’s frustrating on the pocket, it’s frustrating mentally, and it can exacerbate any self-esteem issues you have,” she says.
While talking about a shopping experience with one of her clients, Karen recalls seeing the frustration on her face when items didn’t conform to her figure the way she expected. “At one store she was a 14, at another an 18, and 12 at another. We were trying to find her size, and it made her not even want to shop.”
Ally Duvall, body image program manager at Equip, echoes this sentiment. “When shopping, there’s pressure to find the perfect outfit for you, and then when the sizing doesn’t meet your needs or expectations, it can be devastating,” because essentially, you’ve failed the mission. Of course, you end up blaming yourself — because it’s not like the stores and brands are taking accountability.
“Diet culture has drilled into us this idea that numbers and categories mean everything,” she says. Whether it’s referring to weight or clothing size, it’s hard to escape these details that essentially label our bodies. “We’re told they determine whether you’re going to find a partner, get a job, or simply enjoy your life. There’s a reason that we have so many associations with these numbers.”
She’s right: We’re constantly told through media that having a larger body is bad, therefore wearing a larger clothing size is problematic. Monica from Friends was portrayed as attractive only after she decreased in size and Kate Moss’s statement, “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” fueled a generation’s perception of size.
Even when body measurements don’t change, “we blame ourselves first. We’re conditioned to blame ourselves if things don’t fit, instead of the clothing or the systems used to create the clothing,” Duvall says.
She reminds us that we need to show compassion toward ourselves and our bodies while facing negative feelings while trying on clothes. “You didn’t create this. The world did.”
Most women have experienced something similar to this, and those experiences tend to stick with us. “Fashion can be a really wonderful way to express yourself, but if you’re not able to find clothing to express yourself, then it doesn’t serve that purpose,” Duvall says. “People really get stuck in this feeling like it’s never going to work out, or you have to compromise your style or your preference to find things that fit.”
How to deal with size inconsistencies
As difficult as it may be, Karen recommends ignoring what the tag on a piece of clothing says and going with whatever feels best on your body. “I know it’s still frustrating and it doesn’t solve the sizing issue in terms of the unpredictability, but try to focus on the way a garment looks and feels,” she says.
“The size doesn’t matter, it’s external. When we talk about size, we’re just focusing on what someone else is telling you that you are. A brand has no influence over who you are,” she says.
Duvall also explains that we have the ability to remove power from numeric sizes by thinking about them differently. Grab a bunch of different sizes of a certain item, go to the dressing room, put them on, and see how they feel before looking in the mirror. If something doesn’t feel right, eliminate it. “We can’t get rid of sizing in general. It’s helpful to try to find ways to tolerate some of that distress that you might notice while trying clothing on,” she says. By ignoring what size items are and instead focusing on how they feel on your body, you may find yourself less stressed about the label.
