Gerry’s got a tough decision ahead of him.
It’s the penultimate episode of The Golden Bachelor, and we’re one step closer to finding out who Gerry’s going to pick.
We start off in beautiful Costa Rica for the fantasy suites, which traditionally are a barely veiled allusion to the fact that the lead finally gets the option to sleep with his picks.
We start off with Jesse telling Gerry that it’s the fantasy suites and what that represents. Gerry says, “People will be looking at that as, ‘do people my age still knock boots?'” Gerry asks Jesse if his parents still have sex and Jesse says, “TMI. Let’s focus on you.” I can already see this exchange launching 10,000 think pieces.
Jesse asks Gerry if he can see Leslie as a life partner. Of course, he says he absolutely can — can you imagine if he just said no right there? Show over, everybody go home, no need to tune back in on Nov. 30!
Gerry says he’s gotten to know Leslie’s layers like peeling an onion. Now, where have I heard that before?
Then Jesse asks what Gerry likes about Theresa. He says there’s a “nice, warm safe secure feeling” and Theresa has “a hole in her heart” just like he does because they both lost a spouse.
Gerry says that if he says “I love you” to Theresa again he wants to make sure it’s “right.”
Jesse asks, “How important is intimacy to you?” Gerry responds, “How would you define intimacy?” Jesse hesitates. “Umm…am I allowed to say sex? How babies get made?” Jesse, you’re the host — I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to say whatever you want.
Gerry plays coy but does say that he’s not going to pass up the opportunity should it arise.
The editors are ruthless: Gerry in a voiceover is talking about sex like “at this age, it’s more gentle, it’s slow” as they cut to B-roll of a sloth and then a shot of Gerry shirtless in a bathtub.
Gerry and Leslie’s date
Anyway, first up is Gerry’s date with Leslie. She walks up to him smiling ear to ear, and I don’t think we’ve ever seen her this happy. How sweet! Gerry tells Leslie they’ll be rappelling down a cliff to get to a waterfall, which seems very on-brand for Leslie. But apparently, she was hoping for zip-lining.
Leslie actually is scared — she’s afraid of heights. We know how this goes though — the fear will inevitably bond them.
As they rappel down the cliff, Leslie talks about how she’s been hurt in the past and she’s built up walls, but Gerry makes her feel safe. Leslie’s scared but Gerry coaches her down the clip; they make it to the bottom of the waterfall and Gerry hasn’t broken a sweat this entire time. Major props.
Gerry notices that Leslie’s barriers are coming down, and he knows they can both be honest with each other. Leslie says, “Honesty is my big thing.” Weird, mine is deception.
Does Leslie go to the fantasy suite with Gerry?
Gerry’s concerned they aren’t setting themselves up for a successful long-term relationship. “You haven’t asked me any of the hard questions in quite a while,” he says. He wants to make sure she’s not giving him a pass.
“OK, I have a question for you. When’s the last time you had sex?” Leslie asks.
Gerry was not prepared for that and dodges the question by saying, “A long time.”
Gerry asks Leslie how their life would look together and where they would live. Leslie says she doesn’t want to leave Minneapolis permanently, but at the end of the day, she loves Gerry and wants to be with him. She says, “I think we can figure it out. Instead of bicoastal, we can be bi-midwestern.”
Gerry says, “You said the magic words, we can figure it out.” He says that if they decide to do this, from that point they are fully committed to each other — “and it is, indeed, ‘til death do us part.” This is huge: Gerry is basically saying he’s going to propose at the end of this. Leslie says “Til Death Do Us Part” is something she’s been searching for but hasn’t found since she’s had two divorces.
Gerry tells Leslie he really loves being with her and then he gives her a card — it’s from Jesse and it invites her to the fantasy suites. And off they go!
Gerry says Trista gave her some advice: “Gerry, you have to find the woman you can’t live without — not the one you can live with.” Gerry says he thinks Leslie is that one. He tells her that even though they have to figure out where to live, “There’s no one else I’d rather figure that out with.”
Cut to the next morning, Gerry and Leslie are drinking coffee in bed and remarking about how they didn’t get enough sleep the night before. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Don’t get any bad ideas, because they were just talking until 2 or 3 in the morning! And to hammer that point home, Gerry tells the camera that what goes on in the fantasy suites is “none of their fucking business.” Hear ya loud and clear, G!
Gerry and Theresa’s date
Theresa literally runs into Gerry’s arms — she loves that move. They get to go horseback riding, which is definitely a change of pace from rappelling. I’ve gotta say, this isn’t the ideal date scenario because they’re riding single-file and not talking at all. Gerry seems really in his head.
Eventually, they get off the horses and sit on…a bench… That’s all Theresa gets? Not even like a nice picnic on a blanket set out all cute? Gerry opens up to her about how tough of a position he’s in, having to go from one date to another. It’s got to be difficult to switch your brain off like that. It’s not a great position for Theresa to be in either, to have to be defending herself and their relationship and trying to get her time while Gerry’s kind of zoned out.
Does Theresa go to the fantasy suite with Gerry?
So after their incredibly underwhelming conversation, they go to dinner. Gerry is concerned that his relationship with Theresa is “maxed out” and they’re not moving forward. Things aren’t looking good for our girl over here, but then again, editors love to be sneaky with their cuts.
Gerry asks Theresa about her career, and she’s so happy to be asked that. But I’m thinking, they’re 70, and they’re still working? I’ll be retiring as soon as possible.
Theresa says that she was a homemaker and then randomly decided to start buying stocks (Theresa, please slide in my DMs, I need help) and became a day trader. Theresa has always told herself as long as she didn’t have a man in her life, she’d keep working — but she tells Gerry that if he gave her a reason to stop, she’d stop.
Gerry is impressed — as he should be! She’s an impressive lady! He even seems a little intimidated that she has her shit together so much (and he used that phrase). So then he asks her what made her decide to go on the show. Theresa says she’d given up after so many years of going on bad dates (relatable) but then her daughter prompted her to apply for the show. Then she reveals she hasn’t been with anyone since her husband. Being on the cusp of the fantasy suites is a big deal.
Then they talk about how they “talk” to their late spouses to ask for advice and once again bond over their shared loss. This conversation seems to have been very good for both of them, so Gerry invites her back to the fantasy suites. She says yes, obviously.
Cut to the next morning, where Gerry and Theresa are talking about how they’ve come a long way. They clink coffee cups that I’m not sure are actually full of anything (they were being a little fast and loose with that clinking) as they lay on the bed fully clothed. Theresa’s date turned a huge corner, and poor Gerry is in for a tough decision. He says waking up next to Theresa felt like waking up on the first day of the rest of his life.
Theresa says, “In case I haven’t said it, I’m crazy about you. I love you.” Gerry just says, “And you know how I feel.”
That might sound like a rejection, but Gerry apparently told Theresa off-camera last night that he loves her. They share an impassioned kiss before cutting things off because they have grandkids watching.
Gerry says he’s dying inside because he told both women he loves them and can picture a life with both of them. Ultimately it’s going to come down to this: Does Gerry want an exciting life with Leslie or a comfortable and familiar life with Theresa? There are no bad choices, just different choices. I am a Libra who builds an entire spreadsheet to help me choose which five items to choose in my Rent the Runway order — I do not envy him at all.
In two weeks, Gerry will make his final decision, because we’re skipping a week for Thanksgiving. Talk about a cliffhanger! I really don’t know who he’ll pick (although I’ve made my prediction).
