“None of us thought we’d be in this place — and it’s lonely in this world of couples. It’s way more fun when you go on this journey with new friends.”
If you’ve been watching The Golden Bachelor, there’s a good chance you’ve felt a kinship with at least one of the contestants — especially if you’re the same age. Even if you’re not 60+, who can’t relate to their hilarious mishaps, commiserate with their warranted whining, and appreciate their wisdom and portrayal of female friendship? But you likely feel even more bonded to them if you’re in their age bracket and happen to be single.
That’s because The Golden Bachelor is normalizing later-in-life courtship. OK, dating 20 women at once in a mansion in front of millions of viewers isn’t exactly normal — but, up until now, it’s been “acceptable” for any eager-for-fame 20-year-old. It’s about time those over 50 (heck, over 30!) got the same treatment.
And, sure, Gerry’s great, but for us, the most profound part of this show has been seeing these women open up about what it’s like to be single at this stage of life. And it seems that’s been the most empowering part of the journey for the contestants, too. One of our favorite quotes from the season came from Joan as she left the show: “My heart got a little fixed from Gerry. He’s helped with the journey because as you become older, you become invisible. People don’t see you anymore. You become less significant than when you were young.”
And there’s more heartwarming inspiration where that came from. As we gear up to find out who Gerry picks in the Golden Bachelor season finale, we chatted with the former contestants to find out what they learned about love from this experience — and what their dating lives look like these days. Spoiler alert: Their DMs are very open.
Susan:
The most important lesson that I learned from my experience on The Golden Bachelor was to be kind and open to receiving love. Meeting new people and listening to their stories has made me realize that there are so many people out there who want to love and be loved. I always believed I was a woman who needed a man, but I now realize that I’m a woman that a man needs.
I don’t think I’ll rush back to the dating sites or aggressively search anymore; I truly believe I will attract the right person. At the moment, I’m not dating, but I did make some really amazing friends on the show and plan to spend some time with them. I get so many emails from people sharing their stories, and it makes me feel special that they trust me. I love helping other people.
Joan:
I learned two important things about dating at this age. First, we are expected to be strong and in control as the matriarchs of our families, and that doesn’t work in the dating world. You have to allow that part of you that’s been cooped up for so long to come out — be vulnerable and open to letting someone in that makes you feel like you’re the one who’s cared for. Second, you don’t have to navigate the somewhat uncomfortable dating at this stage of life alone. Find your tribe: those women who have found themselves single in their 60s and 70s. None of us thought we’d be in this place, and it’s lonely in this world of couples. It’s way more fun when you go on this journey with new friends. I learned that at the Bachelor mansion and I’ll never go it alone again!
I wish I could say that my dating life has changed a lot, but I’m still single and looking. I’ve had many, many people reach out asking to meet — or to marry them, which is hilarious — and quite a few women who have widowed fathers that they’d like to set me up with. I’m being very cautious, though, because I feel vulnerable, both safety-wise and emotionally. To be honest, I still don’t have it figured out, but what I do know is that I went on The Golden Bachelor looking for love and I left with an even more intense feeling of needing it. I felt that glimpse of hope that I hadn’t felt since my husband’s passing. But I’m open to any dating advice!
Kathy:
After being on The Golden Bachelor, I will never again question if I am enough — I am! I know that I’m strong and optimistic, and have a strong moral compass. I have a great sense of humor and I’m grateful for every experience and adventure that I’ve had and will continue to have. I would love to find the second great love of my life, and I will continue looking, but my approach is different. I don’t need a man to complete me; I would like to have a man to love and laugh with, a man who wants to share this last chapter of our lives with me, but I’m complete just the way I am. I will continue putting myself out there. If I’m doing the things that make me happy, I’m hoping that the right person will come into my life. I have hope. However, DM me if you think we might be a great fit! My dating life is picking back up. Among the DMs, I have had a widower who resides both in Canada and the U.S. reach out. Yes, please! I’ve also had a 32-year-old good-looking buck reach out who insists he likes older women. Um, no, thank you — I have children older than he is. I don’t have time to waste, but I think the right guy is out there for me. We just haven’t met…yet.
Ellen
The Golden Bachelor has given me a sense of confidence that I thought I lost years ago. You can’t feel confident if you don’t have faith in yourself. I do now, and I owe it all to the show. I walked in front of the cameras and said to myself, “You can do this. Just be yourself and let everyone see who the real Ellen is.” Was it scary? Very, but so worth it. I liked what I saw and was so proud of myself. It’s also been a long time since I felt that way. Roberta gave me the courage to find love. “You deserve it, Ellen, so go out and find it,” she said.
Dating life now…oh my God! Everyone’s father, brother, and grandfather is reaching out. My students’ neighbors and local friends are trying to set me up. I feel like a kid again, like they’re fighting for a chance to take me to the prom. What an amazing feeling to think I had almost given up. I can’t wait to get started. Please believe me when I say this: Finding love can happen at any time. I didn’t think it was going to happen to me, and it has. Please, go on that date, enjoy the attention and excitement, and have a great time because you only live once, and believe me, I’m going to take advantage of every moment.
Jeannie:
My experience has taught me to continue to have hope and be open. I became comfortable with my life and I didn’t put myself out to find my someone. Meeting Gerry made me realize there could be someone for me.
I’ve had my head down catching up on missed time since I was on the show, but I’m looking forward to dating. I’m a bit old-fashioned, though, when it comes to meeting men; I’m not one to strike a conversation up with a stranger in a DM. I’m more of a fan of meeting someone through a friend or acquaintance.
Anna
The most important lesson I’ve learned is the power of authenticity. I’ve realized that being true to myself, embracing my quirks, and presenting my genuine self is the key to meaningful connections. It’s shaped my approach to dating by prioritizing authenticity over pretense, allowing me to attract partners who appreciate me for who I truly am. I feel truly blessed to have this wave of positive energy in my dating life. People are reaching out, and it’s been a beautiful experience. I’m grateful for the connections I’m making and excited to see where this adventure takes me. It’s a reminder that there’s so much to explore and enjoy at any age.
Christina
I learned that I’m not too old to be desirable and find love again. I’m 74, and to say it’s difficult is an understatement. People have a visual of what 74 looks like and should be, and it isn’t me! I’m very healthy, I take no medications, and I’m super active. I’m usually guessed to be at least 10 years younger than I am. I still have fun, travel, and love to be social. Prior to The Golden Bachelor, I had pretty much decided it just wasn’t going to happen for me, but the show woke me up to the possibilities.
My dating life has been on hold pretty much since I was asked to join the show. Now, I’ve found that I’m much better at telling people I’m available and interested in finding someone, which has been received well. The joy I’ve brought to others just by being on this show has been a super rewarding experience.
April:
I now see that I’m capable of standing on my own without the labels that I, and others, identified for me in most of my adult life. When I was a participant on The Golden Bachelor, I was no longer seen as a daughter, mother, niece, wife, nana, caretaker, teacher, or counselor. I was just April. In that process, I woke up to who April was: a vibrant, funny, eccentric, spirit having a human experience. I now give myself permission to be free without expectations from others. It was like being reborn. I owe The Golden Bachelor more than they know.
There are so many people sliding into my DMs as well as calling. I must say that though I’m flattered, I’m also very overwhelmed. There are just too many! I hadn’t dated anyone before going on the show since Ralph died two-and-a-half years ago, so this really helped me get my feet wet, so to speak. It was tough, but Gerry really helped me break down my walls of insecurity and fear of moving on and finding a partner. Don’t let my smile fool you — I’m no different than any other woman. I’m scared just like everyone else. I’m ready to date but, as of this writing, I haven’t found “my person” yet. My heart is open, and I have faith that what is meant for me will not pass me over.
Sandra:
I feel like I’ve passed an intensive and extensive test: I knowingly dated a man who was dating other women — 22 other women, to be exact. What a challenge for my heart, my ego, my sensibilities! But I lived through it and even thrived. I found patience I wasn’t aware I had; made friends I wouldn’t have otherwise met; survived public scrutiny that I wouldn’t have otherwise faced; and found that my children, relatives, and long-term friends are quite proud of me. Now I can date without fear of being judged by millions of strangers. I can also not be the prevailing woman in the end and still hold my head up higher than I ever imagined I’d need to. Beware, future gents, I’m ready! I’ve started dating a little since the show, however, I’m still weighing my options since there are many, many people sliding into my DMs. I’m having several ongoing conversations. At this point, there are almost too many to vet…yikes. I’ve even started attracting women, which I never expected. Sorry ladies, I’m still into guys!
Peggy
After the losses in my life, I exhausted myself on dating apps for eight years until I gave up on that process. It really discouraged me, so I took a few years to enjoy myself, my friends, and my life. I wasn’t even sure I wanted a partner again, but after being chosen to be on The Golden Bachelor, I felt beautiful and appealing again. I realized I’d been stuck in a rut and needed to move forward and not settle for being alone for the rest of my life. My participation reminded me of what gifts I have to offer someone, and I realized I don’t want to be alone anymore. I learned there are still nice (and nice-looking) men at this age, and I need to lean into the potential of meeting my Mr. Right. I now have new opportunities to explore, and I’m ready to believe BIG! I don’t have many people contacting me, but that’s only because I haven’t been seen as much nationally. However, a couple of nice men have reached out to me because of local news about me and my participation in the show. So, I’m ready to date and see where this leads.
Renee:
I have to expose myself to new experiences and opportunities if I want change in my life. I now tell myself that if I took the chance of being on a national television show in my 60s, think of the possibilities that await in my day-to-day! Based on the popularity of the show, women my age who are open to romantic relationships can and should feel validated. Right now, my 99-year-old dad needs my undivided attention. But yes, I am getting many DMs. I’m thinking of hiring a personal assistant to help me sort through them!
Maria
The most important lesson I learned from this experience is to keep hope alive when love is the destination. When I chose to be fearless and take advantage of The Golden Bachelor, it made my quest for love more exciting. My approach to dating now is to enjoy “my vibe” even more. When I’m approached by men who want my attention, it just reinforces that “the one” is coming. I truly believe I will experience a beautiful love again. My dating life is definitely a bit more colorful. Interesting characters are sliding into my DMs or approaching me in airports. I choose to stay open to the new opportunities each day brings.
Marina:
Now, I have the confidence to put myself out there — I don’t need someone else to do it for me. I can dress pretty, wear makeup — lots of it if I want to (which I never did before) — and be visible. I’m worthy of all that and more. Asian women from Sri Lanka generally tend to be shy and unwilling to stand up. This experience has given me the ability to say it’s OK to put myself out there and believe in something bigger than myself. From all the messages I’ve received, I believe women appreciate seeing someone like me on reality TV, which is encouraging not only for me but for other women who will hopefully follow in my footsteps and take the plunge to put themselves out there. I would never in a million years think I would have a “minute” on national television. I’m glad I did; I feel I gave women hope to believe in themselves. It was wonderful to see the positive reaction to the Saree I wore. Many women applauded my courage.
I never wanted to date until now. In fact, I made various excuses not to. Now I know it’s OK to be desired at this age and feel good about wanting to date. Gerry gave me hope that there are men willing to date women their age. Typically, men who look good always want to date women who are half their age (my ex-husband included), so it’s refreshing to see at least one man — the Golden Bachelor — willing to choose someone close to his age and not chase after younger women. This experience has also given me visibility, a voice, and a platform. I’m still trying to figure out how to best lead, advocate, and motivate women. We each need to know that we’re more than a mother, a sister, or a daughter. We are more than a wife, girlfriend, and caretaker.
I did have a few people send me messages. Some were younger men interested in me for the wrong reason — they think I am a sugar mama, ha! I had an interesting woman from the East Coast reach out to introduce me to one of her neighbors. I’ve connected with both the woman and the man. I love and enjoy it when people reach out to me for the right reason. That said, being selected for The Golden Bachelor is a tremendous opportunity to advocate for women and to give a voice to the voiceless — we women need cheerleaders to support each other. Whether we are 22 or 102, we have the power within us to believe in ourselves.
Natascha:
I learned dating is a skill I can develop. Back in the day, dating was known as courting. I realized I wasn’t taught the art of courtship. I have dating on my calendar as a weekly activity. I’m working on my vetting skills, so keep the requests coming because I want to keep my calendar full. As the saying goes, practice makes improvement!
Sylvia:
The most important lesson I’ve learned from this experience is that you have to put it all out there. Take a risk in showing you’re interested in someone and be vulnerable. I have always had hope in finding love, and I do date. But this show changed the perception of love later in life. We’re all humans who need emotional and physical intimacy at any age. Love has no boundaries or age limits.
I just got on Instagram when The Golden Bachelor started so yes, they are sliding into my DMs. I need to take a class on how to filter out the good, the bad, and the ugly from my messages. This is too overwhelming to deal with. I have even had three younger men ask me to be their sugar mama, ha! I got a good laugh out of it. As far as IRL, I find more friends are fixing me up with their friends, and more men that I know are asking me out. I did Golden Bachelor to find love and to change people’s perceptions of older women. My career is in politics/government affairs, and I’m a serious woman in a man’s world; I’ve always been career driven so the show helped me present the more feminine side of me. So, mission accomplished!
Edith:
Our human hearts desire to find love. No matter how old we are, we should be willing to show the whole world we’re still alive. I came to realize as long as you love yourself, then dating will make life better. I’m still waiting for the right man to sweep me off my feet. He’s out there, I just haven’t found him.
