Well, that was quick.
Warning: Spoilers ahead.
Well, folks, we made it! It’s the finale of The Golden Bachelorette. It’s been a season filled with some high highs, some disappointing lows, and more dad jokes than I can count (and more post-50 strip teases than I ever thought I’d see). It’s truly been an honor serving as your trusty recapper.
Tonight, we’re watching the finale in addition to After the Final Rose, so try to keep up because the recap will jump back and forth between the pre-filmed content in Tahiti and scenes from a live studio audience. Honestly, I wish I was there — in French Polynesia or the live audience.
Golden Bachelorette Finale Recap
We kick things off in Tahiti with Joan upset over Pascal saying he didn’t love her. Wow, that feels like ages ago, as if three years have passed since Pascal self-eliminated. That’s how time works on this show.
Nancy knocks on Joan’s door for the girl talk we needed. Joan says she feels like she’s unlovable just because Pascal rejected her, and listen, I’m not invalidating her feelings, but if we let every flirty French guy determine our self-worth, where would we be in life? I studied abroad in Paris, so let me tell ya, I’d be nowhere right now if that were the case. (Next time, I am available for pep talks, Golden Bachelorette producers.)
Joan’s family meets Chock
Joan gets to see her kids again — and you know all about how she felt about her final two guys meeting her kids if you saw our exclusive clip before it aired. They’re meeting Chock first.
Joan confides in her kids about struggling to balance loving John with falling in love again. Her son says, “It’s refreshing to hear that you’re conflicted.” I get that they’re happy to see her experiencing such passion, but…oof.
So Chock meets the kids, and Joan’s kids are completely stone-faced throughout this conversation. I respect it! This is about to be the interrogation that I expected from the hometown dates.
Joan’s son and one of her daughters take Chock aside to tell him that whomever Joan chooses, he has to meet extremely high expectations. Chock assures them that he’s not trying to replace their dad and just wants to make Joan happy. That was a great answer. We end the conversation with the son saying Chock is “everything I hoped she would’ve found.” Good sign!
Chock says, “I wish Guy the best, but I really don’t, because I want Joan in my life.” LOL, gotta respect the honesty.
Chock’s final date
Chock starts off the date by telling Joan that he got emotional earlier, and he doesn’t usually get emotional. He got Joan a present: It’s a card that says they were both dreaming of spending time in NYC, and it’s also a little heart padlock-shaped keychain. Oh, so they’re going to get a place in NYC? Hi, neighbors!
Chock tells Joan he wants to marry her and he loves her. This is the first time a man has said those words to her since John died. Joan doesn’t say “I love you” back because she promised herself she wouldn’t say it until the end. Meanwhile, Chock keeps saying it.
Joan breaks up with Guy
In the next scene, Joan says, “Today, Guy is supposed to meet my family, but I was thinking about the date I had with Chock.” In other words, Joan already knows she’s going to pick Chock! Holy crap, poor guy — no pun intended. (Fine, OK, maybe a little.) So it’s been 40 minutes, and Joan’s going to dump Guy, but it’s only been 40 minutes into what’s slated to be a 90-minute special. How will they fill the time? Maybe a wedding!
Joan and Guy sit on the couch, and she tells him, “I put my whole heart and soul into this journey. And my hope was if we all did it, we would end up where we are.” Guy is beaming at Joan and says, “I know.” Oh no…he’s about to be blindsided.
Joan says after hometowns, she started to picture a life with him, and they had a great date last week — OK, not how I’d start a breakup convo. Misleading much?
Joan tells Guy, “My biggest hope and my biggest fear were that I would have strong feelings for at least one person, and the scary part was that I would have to send somebody home, so I’m here to tell you that my heart belongs to somebody else.” Ouch, Guy looks crushed. I would say I didn’t see this coming, but it’s been obvious ever since Chock left for his mother’s funeral and then came back.
Joan says she wanted to spare Guy meeting her family and doing another date because she cares about him so much.
Guy just sobs. Dang, that hurts. Guy says he fell in love with Joan and was ready to “let it all out.” Joan tells him, “I love you, but I love you in a different way.” Wow, how the tables have turned.
It is fitting that it’s storming outside, I will say that. And LOL that the producers made Guy stand out in the rainstorm so they could film him crying. Was that necessary?
Guy and Joan speak on After the Final Rose
Now we transition to the live studio audience for Guy to sit down with Jesse. He says watching that back was “heartbreaking.”
“The emotions I was feeling were sincere. I didn’t expect it. I thought I was the guy,” (No pun intended, I’m sure.) He does say he got so much out of the experience and didn’t think he’d feel true love again, but being on the show showed him he could feel this again.
Joan comes out and gives Guy a hug. He gets the floor first and says that everything he said on the show was sincere. But he does want to ask her one question: Was there something missing? Joan assures him that it was kind of the opposite: She never thought she could have strong feelings for more than one person. Their relationship was more of a slow burn, and they were on a time crunch. Joan says, “In any other situation, I would’ve been with you because I would’ve had more time.” Is that a bad sign? She’s saying that in the real world, she would’ve picked Guy…and we’re in the real world now, so…
She also says that she hopes they can be friends — from what I’ve seen of Chock, I do not envision him being cool with that.
Who does Joan pick on the Golden Bachelorette finale?
Back on the boat, Joan is putting on a sparkly white dress. Chock is in a nice suit with an engagement ring, on his way over in a tiny boat, and I don’t know why they’re trying to fool us with these voiceovers like this engagement is still a question mark. It’s clearly a done deal.
Anyway, Chock meets Jesse on the beach, smiling ear to ear. He’s nervous about proposing because Joan hasn’t told him he loves her. But again, I feel this is a sure bet. Chock has the ring, Joan already broke up with Guy — we are getting an engagement, folks.
Chock meets Joan on the sand at the Conrad Bora Bora Nui resort and says, “I stand here in front of you today, I’ve got an array of emotions. I’m so happy to be in your life and that you’re in mine. We’ve had a magical journey; it’s been absolutely incredible. And you’re the most giving, selfless woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Props to Chock for memorizing this speech. He also says they’re going to honor John and Kathy by loving each other every day, and they’re going to make each other feel seen every day. OK, I’m getting the chills…
Joan responds with a speech of her own: “About a year and a half ago, I decided I needed love back in my life. From our first date in Disneyland, I could picture a future with you. I hadn’t felt that way about anyone in a long time.” She says that when Chock had to leave after his mom died, she was nervous about continuing the journey without him. “I waited until this moment to tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
So Chock responds, “I have a question for you. I’ve been waiting forever to do this.” (It has been a few weeks.)
Chock asks Joan to marry him, and she says of course! He accepts the final rose.
They FaceTime Joan’s mom to share the good news.
Are Joan and Chock still together?
And now for the moment of truth: Are Chock and Joan still together? They walk onto the After the Final Rose stage holding hands — that’s a good sign. I can see that Joan is still wearing the ring — phew! I wasn’t ready for another breakup tonight.
Joan says, “It’s so nice to finally be able to share our love and our future.”
They fill us in on the private time they’ve spent together since the finale was filmed, and we see super cute photos of them in engaged bliss.
Jesse says, “We’ve got so much more to talk about tonight” (do we really? I think we pretty much covered it), but first, Jesse has to tell us the college football playoff is expanding to 12 teams.
Me:
Jesse asks Joan what they want people to take away from their journey. Joan says it’s that everyone deserves to have love and give love. She says, “I hope watching our journey gave you a little bit of hope, but hope isn’t enough — you have to take action.”
Chock agrees, “Keep your eyes and ears open. You’re not going to find the right one unless you’re willing to risk.”
The whole family is in the audience. Jesse has one more surprise up his sleeve: They’re sending them all to Disney World — a nod to Chock and Joan’s first date.
And with that, we’re closing the books on Joan’s journey and transitioning into a preview of The Bachelor with Grant. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we wish Grant the best, but we’re not here for that.
It’s been a fun season, and to everyone who read our recaps, thank you for trusting me with this responsibility. I hope I provided some levity during your week, and I can’t wait to do it all over again next season! But first, I’ll be interviewing Joan, so check back for that.
