Find out who bails on love and Tahiti.
Warning: Spoilers ahead.
Joan’s — and by extension, our — journey is nearing its close. But first: Joan’s at the airport, on the way to Tahiti to have an amazing vacation with her final three guys, Guy, Pascal, and Chock. If nothing else, this is an amazing advertisement for AirTahiti, because these flights look so luxurious. I’m booking a trip ASAP.
When Joan gets there, she hops on board a jaw-dropping superyacht.
Joan says she feels like she’s alone making this decision — until who shows up? Nancy, Joan’s friend from The Golden Bachelor! Thank god, we need some serious girl talk in here. The lowdown from Joan is that she and Guy have a similar lifestyle, and he’s “very handsome, which doesn’t hurt.” She says their relationship has been a “slow smolder” and she can picture a life with him. But on the flip side, Guy might be further along emotionally than her.
Pascal, as we know, “lives life big” as did John. Joan has strong feelings about him and loves his confidence, but he’s the most guarded out of the three.
Chock makes her feel safe and sexy, but Joan worries he’s too good to be true.
Once again, Joan feels guilty: Does the fact that she can develop deep feelings for other men diminish what she had with her late husband, John? Nancy reminds Joan that she’s human! And it’s time to finally put herself first after putting everyone else first.
Nancy hits us with this banger of advice: Lonely is not a place you stay. Lonely is a place you walk through. And with that, let the dates begin.
Joan’s date with Guy
Guy’s first on the marathon dates, and he practically runs down the boardwalk to embrace Joan. They’re going to be on another, smaller boat exploring Mo’orea. Joan tells Guy that his kids made her feel super welcome at the hometown dates last week, and he says that his kids and sister adored her.
Guy confesses that he didn’t think he’d feel this way about someone again, and Joan agrees that she’s been surprised by the depths of her feelings about some of these guys.
Guy tells Joan that he’s falling for her. She tells the camera that the admission made her “really happy,” but notably, she doesn’t say it back. They go snorkeling and check out some stingrays and other wildlife.
Meanwhile, Jesse is chatting with Chock, who says he’s in love with Joan and he’ll be devastated if he isn’t chosen. He says this experience is either going to end “in an engagement or I’m going to get my heart broken.”
At dinner, Guy toasts to “more memories and a long-term commitment.” I think we can all drink to that!
Joan says this date was really helpful and now she might be on pace with Guy emotionally. They now know they can relax and have fun with each other.
Guy says, with a sly smile: “And we still have this evening.”
Joan responds, “About that.” She tells him she decided that she won’t be doing anything physical with anybody because she’s saving that step for her final person. But they will be having deep conversations off-camera.
Guy respects Joan’s choice “so much,” he says. Guy and Joan walk together into a bungalow, and we cut to Guy on the beach the next morning, talking about how magical the evening was. He feels good about things. As a completely independent third party with absolutely no personal investment in the matter: Same.
Joan’s date with Chock
The guys haven’t seen Joan since their hometown dates, so Chock is champing (chocking?) at the bit to see her. For their date, they’re going ATVing! They had a fast and furious adventure and Joan trusted Chock to (I’m paraphrasing here) drive like a maniac without getting them injured.
They have a picnic afterward, and if Chock doesn’t win I’m going to be so surprised. They’re both looking at each other with absolute googly eyes.
Joan: 😍
Chock: 😍😍
While preparing for the dinner, Joan says that Chock is everything she wants in a person. They have dinner on the cruise ship/megayacht.
Chock opens the convo by giving Joan the floor to tell him about how everything has been going on. Joan says she had to take a leap of faith and let fate figure things out, but so far things are going just the way she wanted them to.
Joan says their bond has grown so much, it feels like she’s known Chock for a year. Chock talks about how special the memorial for his mother was during his hometown date and how, in that moment, he realized he didn’t want Joan to leave without letting her know he was falling in love with her.
Joan tells the camera she started feeling unseen after John passed away, and Chock makes her feel seen and she has complete confidence he’ll never hurt her.
Joan lets Chock know about the physical aspect of the fantasy suites being a no-go, and he obviously takes it great.
And with that, we close the hotel room door on Joan and Chock’s date. Good night!
The next morning, we see Chock writing in his journal. The nosy producer tries to ask him what they did in the fantasy suite date, but Chock is too classy to kiss and tell! Nice try! He says it was everything he expected and more, and he can “absolutely” see himself getting engaged to Joan. Again, same.
Joan’s date with Pascal
Ahead of the date, Jesse meets with Pascal to suss out the vibes. Pascal reveals he was engaged to a woman a year ago, and they had an on-and-off breakup situation. A year?! We need a clarifying timeline on this. He says he’s having a tough time moving on and opening up. This is concerning…clearly, he’s still in love with this woman…This would have been useful to multiple rose ceremonies ago!
Pascal gets emotional talking about his “f*cked-up childhood” and how when you’ve spent so much time alone, you just have to survive and count on yourself.
Pascal: People see me with my fancy cars and clothes and my French accent and think I have it all, but they don’t know what I’ve been through.
Pascal wants to move on, but he’s finding it hard. Will he be able to move on with Joan? Let’s find out.
Joan and Pascal’s date is, we’re told, a Tahitian welcoming ceremony, featuring authentic music and dancers in grass skirts. They eat a Tahitian feast, and Pascal gets to use his French and show off for Joan. For some reason, Joan seems a bit uncomfortable. Thank god I majored in French so I can understand Pascal talking about the difference between a rooster and a chicken. (See, Dad? It wasn’t a waste!)
Alors, nous allons à la prochaine part — oops, sorry. Now we’re going to the next part of the date, which is a bonding ceremony. But it’s kind of giving wedding vibes. Joan and Pascal stand in front of a priest, clasping hands. They walk into the ocean together and dip bowls into the water so they can pour it over their hands as they release whatever it is from their lives that they want to part with. Pascal wants to release his walls, and Joan wants to release the fear of letting someone in her life. Then they braid some fronds and finish the ceremony by drinking from a coconut.
Poor Pascal was totally spooked by this date because he was anticipating some kind of casual outing — probably like what Guy and Chock went on. The way not to help someone let down their walls is to force them down in an elaborate ceremony. Oops…
So it should surprise no one that when Pascal arrives by dinghy on the cruise ship (were they not all staying on the boat this whole time? What a waste of all that space), he says that the date freaked him out.
He and Joan sit down for dinner, and Pascal tells Joan that he’s ready to have a deep conversation. He said he was very much in love with someone last year, and he was hurt big time. Then, his daughter signed him up for The Golden Bachelorette and he just kind of went along for the ride. Pascal admits he thought Joan was beautiful but didn’t think he would last in the competition that long (same, honestly, no offense). He asks, “Why am I here? Why me?” Joan talks about all the ways Pascal reminds her of John.
Pascal admits that during the ritual, he got scared because he’s having a hard time letting go of his past relationship. He says he just doesn’t think he can get to the place where Joan wants him to be. She starts to well up, but this isn’t totally news to her since he said this at his hometown. She says if he’s not ready, its one thing, but if he’s never going to be ready, that’s a problem.
Why does Pascal leave The Golden Bachelorette?
Pascal says, “I know what love is; I’ve experienced it. I care about you as a friend, but I’m not in love.” OUCH. That one hit me right to the core. He says they just don’t have a spark, and he’s “damaged goods” right now. Well damn, is it you or is it me, you know? ‘Cause you just said both.
Joan seems to take this pretty much in stride, assuring Pascal she’s going to be fine. Pascal tries to lead Joan away from the cameras to say his final goodbye. They both say “I love you” to each other. This hurts, but I’m glad there are at least no hard feelings.
When she’s alone with the camera, Joan finally lets those emotions flow. She says she’s used to suppressing displays of emotions because you don’t want to lose it in front of your kids.
Poor Joan internalized what Pascal said as “he knew what it felt like to love; I just wasn’t lovable.” Nooo that’s not the takeaway at all! Can we get Nancy in here to cheer our girl up? I’m going to play the role of the best friend and say, he just wasn’t the one for you!
Still to come is the dramatic finale of The Golden Bachelorette, with some heavy implications that Joan might not leave Tahiti with anyone. But first, it’s the Men Tell All next week, featuring all our faves!
