Some people knock politely on doors. Marc Shaiman… not so much. He’s more of a hail a cab, drain your bank account, fly cross-country, and call from a phone booth kind of guy. (Remember phone booths? Marc does.)
In his new book Never Mind the Happy: Showbiz Stories from a Sore Winner, the legendary Broadway composer — whose credits span Hairspray, Sister Act, and work alongside a jaw-dropping list of icons — offers a front-row seat to a life built on guts, timing, and a healthy tolerance for chaos. We asked him about the audacious leaps that paid off, the stars who surprised him, the moments he was sure he’d blown it, and why sometimes the most absurd rooms (gold piano included) make for the best stories later. Curtain up.
Your book is basically a master class in being confident enough to walk into any room. Which bold move still makes you laugh (or cringe) when you think about it?
I can’t believe that, after first working with Bette Midler when I was 19 and she told me she was only hiring people who lived in LA, I went to the bank, took out all the money I had — which was very little — hailed a cab to JFK, flew to LA, called her from a phone booth (remember phone booths?) and said “OK, I’m in LA. What’s the address of the rehearsal studio? I’ll be right over.” And it worked! From where did I get such huge balls?!?!
You’ve worked with so many famously big personalities. Who surprised you most by being quieter or more vulnerable than their public image suggested?
When I first rehearsed with Whoopi Goldberg for Sister Act, I expected her to sing with a big, boisterous, bluesy shout, but out came the voice of a timid white folk singer. That's why I hired Jenifer Lewis and Charlotte Crossley, two of the funniest singers I knew, to be the backup singers for the opening medley that starts the movie. I hoped that putting Whoopi in an atmosphere that was non-stop laughing would free her from her surprising (to me) inhibitions. It worked!
There’s a recurring theme of you being the calm musical brain in rooms full of nerves — actors who don’t want to sing, or stars second-guessing themselves. Who needed the most hand-holding?
I wouldn’t call it hand-holding, but I write about how Bette Midler is always on the search for “what else ya got?” Everyone who has worked with her would tell you this. Eventually she settles in, and then it’s pure magic.
You write about moments when you absolutely nailed it — and moments when you were convinced you’d blown it. What’s a collaboration that turned out better than you'd expected?
Hmmmm, I'm suddenly remembering yet another Sister Act moment, when I recorded demos to show Disney what the musical numbers could be, and came up with turning “My Guy” into “My God.” Is it just a corny pun that'll make everyone groan? I wondered — and worried. But the demo made everyone smile and then, when the great Broadway actresses playing the nuns added their remarkable, sincere performances, it played through the roof! I guess to get closer to God!
You’ve had a front-row seat to some truly wild show-business behavior. Without naming names (or maybe with), what’s a moment that perfectly captures how absurd this industry can be?
Well, I wrote special lyrics for Donald Trump for one of Katie’s colon cancer benefits, and rehearsing at his apartment on a gold-plated piano and staring at his hair was the height of absurdity. But not nearly as absurd as what has happened with him since!
You’ve written for legends across generations. Is there someone you worked with who instantly made you think, Oh this is why they’re famous?
Once, when my parents came to visit me in LA, Rob Reiner allowed me to take them over to the filming of A Few Good Men, which I had been hired to score once filming was completed. How lucky we were that it just so happened to be the day that Jack Nicholson was filming his now iconic, “You can’t handle the truth” moment. He went full-out 1000 percent on every take, even when the cameras were facing Tom Cruise and the other actors. That was incredible to witness, and an example of a total pro.
The book is full of near-misses and "almosts" that led to better things. Which rejection or disappointment turned out to be the biggest gift in disguise?
The first actor who went into the Broadway rehearsals of Hairspray in the role of Link Larkin got a small movie part and left the show, very suddenly. From out of the chorus, we plucked a young man to take over: Matt Morrison, who went on to many other Broadway shows and then true fame as Mr. Shue on Glee. I can’t recall that first actor’s name! (Actually, I’m just saying that, he’s a wonderful guy, but oops, he really screwed up that time!)
What’s one surprising piece of advice you were given early on that turned out to be completely wrong? (Or incredibly correct?)
That I shouldn’t leave high school — even with the G.E.D. diploma I got — and move to NYC at age 16. My mother told them “What am I gonna do, chain him to the piano?” It all worked out pretty good. Pretty, pretty, good!
