RAMONA ON CORONA and …….Words, Words, Words.

A humor series on navigating this difficult time

I’m sharing another installment of a humor series from my friend Pam Goldman, centering on a woman named Ramona, who tries to help… in her own way.

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My friend Marsha calls me a wordsmith. I do love words and filling a blank page is not the hardest thing in the world for me. Flossing when I’m really tired is the hardest thing in the world for me. 

There are certain words I come across that annoy me because I think I should know their meaning at this stage of life (middle of the 7th inning) but every time I come across them I have to look them up. I’ll share these words with you and save you the trouble of looking them up should their meaning elude you. I will give you their definitions and use them in a sentence.

Ramona’s List of Annoying Words 

Anodyne- inoffensive, often deliberately so

—I’ve recorded Dr. Fauci’s anodyne voice as it is the perfect sleep aid at night.

Protean-versatile, able to change frequently

—Meryl Streep, the protean actress has played a multitude of diverse characters, all thoroughly convincing.

Quixotic-unrealistic, impractical

—Donald Trump has filed many lawsuits in a quixotic attempt to change the election outcome.

Plebian-the general citizenry as opposed to the privileged class

—I wonder if mere plebians are allowed at Mar-a-Lago.

Solipsism- the position that anything outside one’s own mind is unsure, only one’s mind is sure to exist

—In addition to narcissism, could Donald Trump suffer from solipsism?

Shadenfreude- pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune

—Many people experienced shadenfreude when you-know-who lost the election.

Prosaic-commonplace, lacking poetic beauty

—He could not relate to the prosaic needs of everyday people and saw no reason to rush the signing of the stimulus package.

Pussilanimous-showing a lack of courage or determination

—The pussilanimous Commander in Chief hid under the Resolute desk in the Oval Office after losing the election.

Nadir-the lowest point in the fortunes of a person or organization

—Contracting the Coronavirus was the nadir of his presidency until he lost the election.

Puerile-childishly silly and trivial

—His puerile behavior manifested in suggesting the public drink a glass of Clorox to cure Covid-19.

Do you detect a theme here? 18 days and counting…..

Did it snow where you are this week? We had 14 inches and couldn’t get out the front door. We called Brian, the guy who plows our driveway and he shoveled us out of the house.

I put on my heavy winter jacket, hat, gloves, scarf and snow boots to walk to the garage to get the car to go to Physical therapy. K. insisted on driving because he thinks men handle snow and ice on the road better than women though he has no data to back that up. (Data is Queen, right?)

I shivered in the freezing car until the engine warmed up.

“Why do we live here?” I asked K.

“Where else?” K. answered.

“Not Florida”, I said. “It’s not very….us.”

“There are only 2 other warm places….Arizona and California” K. said.

“But we’d be too far from the grandchildren” I said.

“They’d visit,” he said.

“It’s not enough,” I said.

“Then don’t move,” he said.

“I’m not moving!” I said.

“Did I ask you to move?!” he asked, somewhat caustically. 

K. then put on his ‘Ramona Cancelling Headphones’ and drove me to PT.

We arrived only to learn my physical therapist had broken her femur and would be out of commission until three weeks after her surgery.

I was not surprised. It’s still 2020.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Let’s take a collective deep breath and pray 2021 brings good health and great hope to the world. Let’s hope those who do vote for the Nobel Prize award it to the courageous, selfless, dedicated doctors and nurses and hospital staff who fought this battle and continue to fight it until all fear of it is gone.