In honor of graduation season, I’m sharing some of my all-time favorite pieces of advice from Jimmy Kimmel, Annie Dillard, and more.
I’ve had the privilege of being the commencement speaker at about a dozen colleges and universities throughout my career. Lehigh University was my first, in 1999. That was followed by Villanova University, the University of Oklahoma, Princeton, the University of Virginia, Mercer University, Williams College, Boston University, American University, Trinity College, and the University of Wisconsin. It’s always a thrill to be able to address a sea of shining faces…even if those faces are shining because they’re slightly hungover. These young students, so proud of themselves and so excited about the road ahead, always give me such hope for the future.
Every time I’ve been given the honor of providing a commencement address, I take the assignment VERY seriously. I often try to quote a line from Life’s Little Instruction Book by H. Jackson Brown Jr. It proclaims, “No one on his deathbed says, ‘Gee, I wish I had spent more time at the office.’”
Another quote I love to include is from Annie Dillard, who famously wrote, “How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives.”
In other words, get your priorities straight. In the midst of writing these speeches, I realized I could mine a veritable treasure trove of life lessons from the accomplished people I had met and interviewed through the years. I started reaching out to them with a simple question: “What life lessons would YOU impart to the young people sitting in the folding chairs today?”
That gave me an idea. What if I put all this hard-earned wisdom in one place? So I put out an SOS to successful people from all walks of life. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who wrote back. The result was a book called The Best Advice I Ever Got: Lessons from Extraordinary Lives. I thought I could use it as a reference for future speeches AND it would make a great graduation gift. Even better: I was able to donate the proceeds of the book to an organization called Scholarship America, started by a wonderful optometrist from Fall River, Massachusetts named Dr. Irving Fradkin. (I will tell you about him in another essay, but Google him if you’re curious. I promise you will be inspired and delighted by this magnificent man.)
Here are some of my favorite quotes from that book:
When in doubt, order the hamburger. — Jimmy Kimmel
It doesn’t matter where you start in life but where you finish and, along the way, whether you do something that you love and enjoy doing. — General Colin Powell
All five of our senses exist only in the present. We can’t fully live in the past or the future — or even in Computer Land. Right now, where you are is all there is. — Gloria Steinem
But this year I’ve been thinking: What if I was giving a commencement address to the class of 2024? I think it would be my most challenging one yet. After all, the world is a pretty messed up place, and sometimes the future doesn’t look so bright. But I realized quickly that in good times and in bad, those same simple words of wisdom hold true. In addition to all of the great advice I rounded up in my book (available here, shameless plug), I read David Brooks’ column for The New York Times, called “The Greatest Life Hacks in the World (for Now).” That fabulous column sent me down a rabbit hole of life advice from David Pogue. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the two Davids, which they crowdsourced:
When you get invited to something in the future, ask yourself: Would I do this tomorrow?
Purchase a tourist guidebook to your hometown. You’ll learn a lot playing tourist once a year.
Ignore what they are thinking of you because they are not thinking of you.
Something does not need to be perfect to be wonderful, especially weddings. (Ellie, it’s OK that you walked down the aisle too quickly!)
Don’t pickle it. (In other words, use your good china and drink the good wine.)
Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks. (I’m really lousy at this.)
Build identity capital. In your 20s do three fascinating things that job interviewers and dinner companions will want to ask you about for the rest of your life.
Don’t ever look up a recent photo of your first great love. (Or college boyfriend, for that matter!)
You’ve never seen a cat skeleton in a tree, have you? (In other words, things have a way of working out.)
Touch it once. (And put it away.)
Your job is to make your boss look good.
When you go in to a job interview, have questions ready.
When you see a ball on the road, make a full stop. There’s usually a kid running right behind it.
Never trust anyone wearing a lapel pin.
