Dr. Brightman offers advice on how to talk to your daughter about women’s health in a way that will encourage her to prioritize.
Any parent to a daughter knows that talking about women’s health issues can be complicated, stressful, and sometimes a little bit awkward. It can also be one of the most rewarding ways to bond with your daughter, and can empower her to take control of her own health. Plus, in a world where medical practitioners have long downplayed women’s sexual health and reproductive concerns, teaching our daughters to stand up for themselves and take agency over their own health can be a matter of life or death.
With help from Hologic, a leader in the world of women’s health, we’re encouraging parents to talk to their daughters about taking their health seriously — so they’ll continue to prioritize it as adults. We checked in with our resident women’s health expert, Dr. Rebecca Brightman, who says parents should lead by example and model healthy behavior. But, maybe even more importantly, they should listen to and support their daughters whenever they want to talk about their health.
“When it comes to a girl’s health, a lot of mothers assume their daughters are going to have the same experience they had,” explains Dr. B. “This isn’t always true. If a mother had painful or heavy periods and went on birth control pills at a young age to prevent them, she shouldn’t assume her daughter will need to do the same.” She says, “it’s important that daughters understand that their body is unique and should be given the autonomy to make their informed decisions. The best way a parent can help them do that is by fostering a positive relationship between the child and her pediatrician or general practitioner.”
What’s the right age to start talking to your daughter about puberty, sex, and STI screenings? “Everyone’s different, so I’d suggest letting your daughter take the lead a little bit,” says Dr. B. “Kids mature at different ages, and I think that telling them myths when they start to be curious about their bodies can be problematic in the long run.” Her suggestion is, “use language that’s age-appropriate, but if they haven’t brought the topic up by around fifth grade, that’s a good time, since that’s when some of their peers will start showing signs of early puberty.”
While the period-and-puberty talk is one thing, the sex talk can be a bit more difficult to navigate. When girls are considering becoming sexually active, usually the last people they want to talk about it with are their parents. But it’s crucial for girls to understand safe sex and the importance of STI screenings since they can have a huge impact on future fertility. While the best way to tackle these topics is to remove any stigma by making sure your daughter knows that STI testing is a normal part of any sexually active woman’s well-woman exam, it can also be hard for parents to stay neutral during these conversations. “Again, I suggest you encourage your daughter to establish a trusting relationship with her doctor from a young age,” says Dr. B. “That way, when she needs to get tested for STIs or has questions about safe sex, she has someone to ask who she won’t feel judged by.”
For families who don’t have health insurance and whose children might not have the opportunity to see the same doctor at every visit, most area hospitals have adolescent health services where young people can get information about topics like practicing safe sex, how to get tested for STIs, and find resources on LGBTQ-specific issues. Free or low-cost clinics are another option, says Dr. B: “For kids who are growing up in an environment where they don’t feel comfortable discussing these topics with anyone they live with, these clinics offer free well-woman checkups, STI screenings, and really great general information on plenty of women’s health issues besides family planning.” According to Hologic’s Global Women’s Health Index, only one in nine women say they’ve been tested for an STD or STI in the past year, and one of the major reasons was a lack of accessibility. Make sure your daughter knows where she can get screened so that when she needs to be tested, she has a safe and accessible place to go.
In addition to STI screenings, clinics can offer some of the most crucial health screenings for women: Pap and HPV tests. It’s suggested that women get their first Pap test at age 21, and their first Pap and HPV co-test (when used together these tests detect 95 percent of cervical cancer cases) at age 30. Even though a 21-year-old is technically an adult, Dr. B says that when it comes to whether you should schedule your daughter’s first Pap test for her, that really depends on the kid. “If a young woman has a good relationship with her doctor, my hope would be that she comes in for these tests on her own,” she says. “If your daughter is 21 and she’s dragging her feet, then I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t make the appointment for her and take her in yourself if that’s the only way she’s going to actually do it.”
Since every kid is different, make sure you’ve opened the lines of communication, so your daughter can tell you if she thinks something is wrong. Issues like endometriosis often develop during the teenage years, so if she’s complaining of pelvic pain, take her seriously. This goes for doctors, too. “One of the biggest things doctors need to do is listen, but they often have so little time with patients these days,” says Dr. B. “If you feel like you’re not being heard, or your child isn’t being taken seriously, find another doctor. That’s your right, and it will empower your daughter to do the same.” Hologic’s Global Health Index found that more than half a billion women worldwide experience physical pain on any given day. Given the emotional pressure plaguing teenagers today, none of them need the added stress of not having their pain taken seriously.
Being open-minded and approachable is crucial for any parent, which sometimes involves opening up about your own experience when asked. “If your kid asks you about your own experience, tell her,” says Dr. B. “There might be a genetic component. For example, endometriosis may be linked to genetics, and some populations are more susceptible to certain issues. That’s true for African-American women, who are more likely to develop fibroids.” In fact, uterine fibroids, or benign uterine growths, affect approximately 26 million women in the U.S, with a disproportionate number of Black women impacted. There are options like the Acessa Laparoscopic Radiofrequency Ablation and the MyoSure Tissue Removal System for women and girls who suffer from fibroids, so if you or your daughter has them, it’s vital to speak with your physician.
Even if your child does have some of the same health experiences that you had, make sure that she feels like an individual. Her experience is unique, and oftentimes all she wants is the assurance that you’re listening to what she’s going through, without judgment. Says Dr. B, “If your daughter comes to tell you about how her body is feeling, it’s not the time to tell her how you felt at her age — let this be about her.”
