What if I run out of money in retirement?
What if I get sick and have huge medical bills?
What if I don’t have enough to live on, even though I’ve been saving for years?
If these thoughts regularly loop through your head and keep you up at night, you’re not alone. In many relationships, at least one partner frets about their financial future.
Some worry they don’t have enough saved, and others worry they’re making the wrong money decisions. Still others aren’t even sure what to worry about — they just know that they feel financially anxious all the time.
Over 43 percent of Americans report that money negatively impacts their mental health, at least occasionally, leading to issues like stress, troubling thoughts, sleep issues, and depression, according to a recent Bankrate survey.
According to Ramit Sethi, bestselling author and money-mindset expert, that archetype has a name: The Worrier. In his new book, Money for Couples, Sethi identifies this common money personality as someone whose relationship with savings and spending is dominated by fear.
“Worriers are anxious about money regardless of how much they have,” Sethi says. “In fact, most worriers don’t even know how much money they have: They worry because that’s what they saw growing up, and worrying is pretty much their only relationship with money.”
In other words, financial stress doesn’t always stem from reality. It’s often the result of emotional habits, and it can quietly sabotage even the most well-prepared couples.
How financial worries can become never-ending
Sethi explains that for Worriers, anxiety is a default setting. The stress isn’t just about money — it’s about identity. When he asks clients, ‘Who would you be if you weren’t worrying about money?’, many of them are stumped. They’ve never imagined a version of themselves that isn’t tethered to financial fear.
Sometimes, he says, they try to justify the worry: I worry because I care. But that doesn’t hold up under closer inspection. “I ask them, ‘Do I look like I’m worried about my money?’ And they say ‘No,’” Sethi explains. “But I care about my money, right? They say ‘Yes’. So then I ask, ‘Why am I not worrying?’ And they don’t know.”
That moment of realization is powerful because it reveals what so many people misunderstand: Worrying isn’t the same as caring. And it’s not an effective financial strategy.
Why more money doesn’t equal less stress
You might assume that once you’ve saved enough — whatever “enough” means to you — the worry will stop. But Sethi has seen the opposite.
“I’ll ask someone, ‘If you had X dollars, would you stop worrying?’ And they almost always admit, ‘No, I probably wouldn’t.’”
That’s because chronic worry isn’t solved by a bank balance. It’s fueled by deeper issues: control, scarcity, and self-worth that are often shaped by childhood experiences or cultural messages around money. It’s why two people with the same income can feel vastly different levels of security.
This is also why Sethi encourages his clients to look beyond spreadsheets and bank balances. Sometimes, getting to the root of financial anxiety requires a different kind of help. “This is where we really need to start talking about mental health,” he says. “That’s why I often recommend therapy, which can be incredibly helpful.”
Can money worriers ever change?
According to Sethi, yes…but it starts with awareness.
“The first step to changing your stance as a Worrier is acknowledging that your relationship with money is built on worry and that it doesn’t have to be,” he says. “There are plenty of people who are great with money and don’t worry constantly.”
After awareness comes education. Sethi says that many Worriers feel “behind” in some way, but they’ve never done the work to figure out what they’re actually working toward. “If you believe you’re behind, you need to understand why you believe that,” he says. “How much money do you need to feel secure? What’s your actual number?”
This is where financial literacy — the kind that helps you understand compound interest, safe withdrawal rates, and basic retirement math — becomes powerful. Not because it eliminates all fear, but because it replaces vague anxiety with clear direction.
Thankfully, you don’t have to handle your retirement needs alone. There are expert-backed tools, like The Motley Fool’s retirement calculators and planning guides, that make it easier to estimate how much you’ll need based on your age, lifestyle, and income — no guesswork required. Seeing real numbers can help you replace uncertainty with clarity and start making confident decisions about your future.
Ultimately, breaking out of the Worrier mindset isn’t just about reducing fear. It’s about reclaiming control, choosing clarity over anxiety, and giving your money a meaningful role in the life you truly want to live.
