Do you use the words “stress” and “anxiety” interchangeably? You might be surprised to learn that they’re different states of being. And that contrary to popular belief, in some cases, a little bit of stress might actually be a good thing.
Though stress and anxiety are different, both can certainly impact how you feel day to day — and understanding the difference between them can help you figure out how to handle those reactions when they inevitably show up. That’s why we spoke with Monika Dargis, Ph.D, Assistant Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine and therapist with Talkspace, about how stress and anxiety aren’t the same thing — and what to do when you start to feel overwhelmed.
What’s the difference between stress and anxiety?
Stress is a reaction to an external trigger — like when your heart starts pounding over an impending work deadline or an argument with a loved one. Anxiety is an emotion, an internal feeling of worry that’s not always tied to a specific situation.
Although they can feel similar, stress can be triggered by some of our most positive life experiences — think getting married, having a baby, or giving a big presentation at work. Anxiety is a sense of fear or dread about a possible outcome — when all you can think about before that big presentation is whether you might get fired if it goes poorly.
Stress and anxiety are not inherently bad
These reactions aren’t necessarily negative: Stress and anxiety can actually prompt us to effectively problem-solve, as long as they’re felt in moderation. “When you feel no anxiety at all, it’s unlikely you’re going to get anything done, because anxiety can be motivating,” explains Dr. Dargis. “When anxiety is too high, it can hinder your performance, because it overwhelms your ability to act. But when you strike the right balance, that’s when you probably do your best work.”
Is anxiety an emotion, or a personality trait?
Are some people naturally more anxious than others, or do they just respond more anxiously when tough situations arise? Both can be true. “’State anxiety’ occurs when you feel acute anxiety at a given moment,” says Dr. Dargis, “While ‘trait anxiety’ is a personality characteristic where someone’s baseline state of anxiety is higher than average, so they might be more cautious and prone to worrying.” Dr. Dargis emphasizes that it’s not necessarily a bad thing to have trait anxiety: “It’s an emotion,” she says, “and emotions are part of life. Sometimes, having a tendency to think things through before acting can be a good thing.”
How to handle stress and anxiety
If anxiety is keeping you from doing everyday tasks like checking your bank balance, or signing up for that community tennis league you’ve been daydreaming about, the first step is to acknowledge it. “Take a beat to recognize that what you’re feeling is anxiety,” says Dr. Dargis. “Try to press pause, and focus on your breath to regain some control.” If that doesn’t work, try distracting yourself: “Take a minute to do a crossword puzzle or a sudoku. Doing something mentally stimulating can stop intrusive thoughts by allocating your mental energy elsewhere.”
If you’re feeling stressed, Dr. Dargis says the key is getting back to basics: “Ask yourself if you’ve had enough water, how much sleep you got last night, or when the last time was that you ate a vegetable,” she says. “The mind and the body are more connected than we sometimes give them credit for, so sometimes all it takes to lessen feelings of stress is to take care of your body.”
When should you seek help?
If you’re asking yourself if your stress or anxiety are bad enough to seek help or treatment, the answer is probably yes. “Therapy can help you understand the root causes of why you’re feeling stressed or anxious,” says Dr. Dargis. “It’s about building skills, so you have the ability to manage the stress or anxiety you’re facing in your day-to-day life.”
Therapy can be transformational in the long-term, but it can also help you troubleshoot issues that are happening in real time. “One of the amazing things about Talkspace is that you have the ability to message your provider 24/7, so you don’t have to wait until next week’s session to get their perspective on something that’s happening to you right now.”
In some cases, Dr. Dargis says medication can be a helpful tool to allow you to manage stress or anxiety alongside the work you do in therapy. “When you work with a therapist at Talkspace, you can also get an in-house referral for a psychiatry provider who can prescribe medication, if appropriate. So you have a treatment team all in one place, working together to help you.”
Dr. Dargis says one of the biggest misconceptions people have about stress and anxiety is that you should avoid them entirely. “Anxiety is an emotion, and emotions are what make us human,” she says. “And stress can be a motivator, because it’s alerting you to something important that needs attention.” Therapy can help you to embrace stress when it serves you, so you can do the sometimes uncomfortable — but ultimately rewarding — work needed to help you grow.
