Hint: Ditch the vision board.
We’ve all heard the advice: “Think positive!” “Visualize your success!” “Just believe in yourself!” But what if these well-intentioned mantras are actually setting us up for failure? Recent research on mindset, intentions, and downside of positive thinking indicates that this may not be the best way for us to create a winning strategy. Instead, key academic findings show that the approach that maximizes your chances of success involves preparing for obstacles and setbacks, harnessing negative emotions like anger and envy, and diligently avoiding spending time staring at vision boards while imagining driving your dream car to your new beach house.
Let’s start with a relatable scenario: It’s January 1, and like millions of Americans, you’ve resolved to get fit this year. You envision yourself with defined biceps, breakfasting on celery juice, and fitting into your pre-baby pencil skirts. You create a vision board, set ambitious targets, and tell all your friends about your plans. Fast forward to February, and you’re right back on the couch, wondering why your optimistic outlook and visualizing didn’t magically transform you into an icon of fitness, and you’re feeling soured on the idea of setting any future goals because you think effort doesn’t really pay off.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. The problem isn’t your motivation or willpower, though. Part of the reason for your failure is that you’ve fallen into the trap of what goal-setting experts call “stupid grit.” This is the misguided idea that sheer persistence and positivity alone will lead to success, regardless of obstacles or needed course corrections. This type of “unrealistic optimism” and stubborn misplaced beliefs that remain unchanged despite evidence to the contrary are some of the problems that prevent many from making progress on important goals.
When I returned to school in 2005 for a Master’s in Applied Positive Psychology, I learned about one of the highest-regarded theories of success: Edwin Locke and Gary Latham’s Goal Setting Theory (GST). It proves setting specific and measurable goals is the most effective approach to accomplishing anything.
I’ve since combined GST with the latest research on resilience, well-being, mindset, and motivation so that Locke and Latham’s durable theory has the additional leverage of up-to-date intel on gender differences, decision-making, and motivation. I call this the BRIDGE methodology, which stands for Brainstorming, Relationships, Investments, Decision-Making, Good Grit, and Excellence.
In my newest book, Big Goals, I write about one of the most misunderstood ideas plaguing the popular media and consultants’ success strategies: visualizing your wins ahead of time in great detail and being overly optimistic about what your hard work will bring. When we focus solely on positive outcomes without considering potential roadblocks, we set ourselves up for disappointment and premature goal abandonment because we don’t plan for obstacles and how we will overcome them, which often leads to disappointment and disengagement at the first speed bump.
Gabriele Oettingen, a psychology professor at New York University, has conducted research on “positive fantasies” that shows that people who vividly imagine achieving their goals often perform worse than those who don’t. Why? It turns out that when we picture ourselves succeeding, our brains can trick us into feeling like we’ve already accomplished the goal. This false sense of progress can actually decrease our motivation to put in the necessary work.
Oettingen’s solution? A technique called “mental contrasting.” My version of this involves maintaining a positive outlook while simultaneously anticipating and planning for obstacles, something the Ancient Stoics called “premeditatio malorum,” or “premeditate the evils on your path.” It’s the difference between saying, “I’m going to lose 50 pounds by summer, no matter what!” and “I’m excited to get healthier this year. I know there will be challenges, but I’m prepared to problem-solve with my team of advisors and adjust my plan as needed.”
And what about those “negative” emotions we’re often told to avoid? They might be the secret sauce for goal achievement. Research shows that feelings like frustration, envy, and even anger can be powerful motivators when channeled correctly.
Seeing a colleague’s success, for example, might sting initially, but it can also motivate you to up your own game. The trick is to focus on what you can learn from their achievements rather than feeling diminished by them.
So how do we integrate all these seemingly paradoxical ideas into a cohesive goal-setting strategy? I propose my BRIDGE methodology, which walks people through prompts around the following topics:
B: Brainstorm effectively (using techniques that go beyond basic positive thinking and that determine if new technology like artificial intelligence or another advancement can enhance efficiency and excellence)
R: Recognize the relationships needed to achieve your goal (both supportive and challenging)
I: Identify necessary investments of money, time, and energy required to achieve the goal (like character strength assessments)
D: Apply decision-making theories like “noise” audits (analyzing the varying decisions that can come out of one situation)
G: Cultivate “good grit” (persistence balanced with flexibility)
E: Measure excellence by monitoring goal progress
The takeaway? Achieving big goals isn’t about constant positivity or visualizing your way to success. It’s about embracing a more nuanced, scientifically backed approach that acknowledges both the highs and lows of the journey. By adopting realistic optimism, mental contrasting, and even harnessing the power of “negative” emotions, you’ll be far better equipped to turn your aspirations into reality.
For over three decades, Caroline Adams Miller has pioneered research in the science of goal setting, grit, and positive psychology, earning recognition as one of the world’s foremost experts on achieving meaningful success. She is the author of nine books, including her latest, Big Goals: The Science of Setting Them, Achieving Them, and Creating Your Best Life, which explores evidence-based strategies for transforming one’s life and work.
