Starting something new is fun and exciting when you feel full of hope and promise. Finishing requires grit, patience, and discomfort. Ever struggled to finish a course, a work or personal project, or even a book? You’re not alone. Finishing is hard. I’ve made a whole career out of helping people stay on course so they can finish projects that are important to them. Here are some hot tips from a pro.
1. Make sure your goal is worth finishing
My friend Hedy used to talk all the time about how she wanted to lose 10 pounds, but she also put butter on her pizza. Yes, she liked the idea of losing weight, but she wasn’t invested enough to commit to meaningful behavioral change. As the butter melted onto the cheese, I gently suggested that maybe she wasn’t actually committed to losing weight. In the end, she realized that food was a joy center and she had bigger fish to fry, and that spelled the end for Operation Lose 10 Pounds. Before you spend your precious time trying to finish something, make sure it’s worth finishing. It’s perfectly OK to let go of the hobby you never took seriously, the business that never got off the ground, and even the weight that you never lost, if these goals no longer resonate or hold value for you. We don’t judge here.
2. Do one big thing at a time
I have a rule that has served me very well: I give 100 percent to anything I do, and I only pursue one big goal at a time. Tackling one goal at a time means you can harness your full mental capacity, focus, and energy on that single task instead of diluting your efforts by spreading yourself too thin. I extend this rule to all areas of my life: If I’m reading a book, I won’t buy another one until I’m finished. If I’m taking a class or a course, I won’t sign up for any other courses, workshops, or trainings until I’ve completed the one I’m already enrolled in. When I’m working on completing a book, I say no to…basically everything else. There’s really only so much our brains can process, digest, and focus on, so when you force yourself to take it one goal at a time, you supersize your chances of finishing.
3. Know that rejection means nothing
I made an early career out of avoiding rejection. I quit when things got hard. I didn’t tell my crushes that I liked them. I made it a rule to play it cool. And you know where that got me? Not very far. If you want to grow, change, evolve, and do big things in life, getting more comfortable with rejection is simply a must. Want to get a big book deal? Get ready for a lot of editors to pass on your project. Want to start a business? Spoiler alert: Not everyone will want to hire you. Want to find a life partner? You’re going to have to go on a lot of first dates. Facing rejection is messy and awkward and vulnerable, but it also means you are building your resilience. Allow yourself to feel the sting of rejection when it does happen and then be super kind to yourself and keep moving forward. Rejection (and even complete failure) is often part of the necessary path to success. Anything truly worth doing is worth a little rejection along the way. Ouch, now onward!
4. Stop changing your mind
Here’s the thing: Most people don’t fail because of a lack of talent or aptitude, but because they don’t stick with their goals or desired outcomes long enough to see success. I mentor a number of brilliant, talented, and creative women who block themselves from experiencing success because they constantly change their minds about their goals. (Lily, I love you!) I’ll watch them make a detailed plan to scale their home-organizing business, and then halt all progress because they’ve decided maybe they should pursue their love of photography. Then before they really dig in to the photography route, they’ll get an itch to start experimenting with prop styling. Changing your mind is often an unconscious way of playing it safe. If you never fully go after your goals, you never have to face failure or rejection. My advice? Pick one goal to focus on for a set amount of time. Write down all your other brilliant ideas as they emerge and revisit them only after you’ve reached your original goal. Stay the course, my friends.
5. Be nicer to yourself, for the love of all things holy!
Relentless self-criticism is a poison that will get you nowhere fast, and there is literally no upside to beating yourself up. If you slip up, or don’t follow through on something, don’t use it as an excuse to submit to defeat. Pull yourself up off the ground, give yourself a sweet little pep talk and a big dose of grace, and then recommit. The sooner you start having your own back, the better.
6. Make it micro
Humans are wired to seek growth, but most of us get easily overwhelmed and quit when we try to do too much too fast. Try trimming your goals down into itty-bitty baby steps. Whenever I write a book, I only think about the chapter ahead of me. If that feels too overwhelming, I’ll set a timer and write a single paragraph. You’ll work harder, and stay the course, if your goal feels attainable, so cut your goals in half. And if it’s still too big, do it again. And again. Keep going until they feel manageable, and then get to work.
7. Kick perfectionism to the curb
Please stop letting your dreams wilt and die in the name of perfectionism. I know so many people who are hiding their brilliance from the world because of the crippling fear of being imperfect. News flash, friends: We’re all imperfect! And even if perfect were an actual thing (it’s not), it would be dull as dirt. Stumble forward imperfectly toward the finish line, start embracing good enough, and then give yourself a well-deserved high five at the finish line.
8. Take consistent action
Most of us get the relationship between confidence and success backward. You don’t need confidence to pursue a challenging goal. You build confidence through pursuing a difficult goal. Instead of waiting to feel confident, start taking brave, repetitive action and confidence will follow. Once more for the people in the back: brave action first and then confidence.
Excerpted from LifeStyled Copyright © 2024 by Shira Gill. Photographs copyright © 2024 by Vivian Johnson. All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Ten Speed Press, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
Shira Gill is a minimalism expert, bestselling author, and entrepreneur with 15 years of experience. She has collaborated with companies like Google, goop, and Williams Sonoma to make them more fashionable and functional.
