The brains behind A Couple Cooks explain how to collaborate without sacrificing friendship.
We’re in the thick of the holiday season, which means lots of fun, festive gatherings. And if you’re the one cooking, you’re likely very excited — and fairly stressed — about your menu. Which might mean that when houseguests offer to step into the kitchen, you’re prone to shooing them to the living room and fretting over the stove solo.
But what if you decided to actually pull your best college friend, your sister, or your neighbor into the kitchen? Or — shocker — even purposefully planned on collaborating with them so that you could both enjoy the fruits of your labor?
That said, you don’t want that group cooking project to end with explosive fights, passive aggression, or spoiled relationships. To prevent total chaos, we emailed Alex and Sonja Overhiser — the husband-and-wife team behind A Couple Cooks — and they served up a helpful helping of teamwork advice. We’ve got their best tips for meshing different cooking styles (and resolving conflict when it bubbles up); plus, some inspiration for the easiest dishes to cook as a group.
KCM: What are the best benefits of cooking with loved ones? How has it helped you bond with each other and with others?
Alex and Sonja Overhiser: Cooking together has been transformational for our relationship; we connect by creating something beautiful and delicious together. It’s also helped us bond with other people in amazing ways. Our desire to share meals with friends and family is actually what caused us to start the A Couple Cooks website back in 2010. And teaching our children, Larson and Britta, their way around the kitchen has been an absolute joy.
Cooking together creates a deeper connection — it opens up space for conversation and collaboration that you might not have otherwise. It gives you a shared sense of accomplishment. There’s really nothing like sitting down to a meal you made together, or pulling a homemade loaf of bread out of the oven. It’s also a great way to build memories — some of our best memories are centered around our experiences in the kitchen.
Beginner cooks might feel intimidated by the prospect of stepping into the kitchen with a loved one. What are your tips for getting started on collaboration?
We like to tell people to acknowledge and respect that everyone has a different work style. Some people have what we call a “linear brain” — this must happen before that — and other people think in sort of a cloud style — they can multitask and think of many things at once. Some people might follow the recipe to a “T,” and others might freestyle a bit. Everyone has different strengths in the kitchen. Respect and value each other’s different work styles.
We also encourage people to remember it’s all about the process, not the final dish. Don’t feel like you have to put pressure on yourselves to “achieve” or do things efficiently.
What are your favorite easy dishes that are fun to make as a team?
We absolutely love making bread together. It’s such a fun collaborative process. We’ve got a great crusty artisan bread recipe in our cookbook. Soups are fun and easy meals to put together, since they follow a “chop and simmer” rhythm that’s easy to do as a team. We’ve also got some very easy appetizers in our book, like baked goat cheese with jam, that are low on effort and big on return.
What are your favorite ways to get children or young adults involved in cooking?
We love having our kids help with chopping. We use plastic child-safe knives for the littlest ones. Baking projects can also be a great place to start. The glazed applesauce cake in our book is perfect for cooking with kids. Overall, we find school-aged children and young people are perfectly capable of doing many of the kitchen tasks most recipes call for.
When conflict arises, what are your tips for finding resolutions?
We definitely have our moments! Here’s what we’ve learned:. Communicate kindly. For example, instead of saying, “You’re chopping those onions all wrong,” you could say something like, “Hey, would you mind trying this technique?”
Listen actively. Make sure you’re truly listening to your cooking partner’s perspective, even if you don’t agree with it, and ask clarifying questions, too.
Remember that compromise is key. Be willing to meet in the middle and find a solution that works for both of you. Also, have a sense of humor. We always try to remember to laugh a little.
