“There’s little doubt how much impact she has on her husband, and how deep her love and loyalty go.”
Many wives become caretakers as couples age. But does that mean we’re ready for a First Lady to take on that role?
Four of my closest friends have wonderful husbands who have recently taken disastrous falls. Surgeries, rehab, and long recoveries now dictate their lives. Events have been canceled, stairs replaced by elevators, and more. One friend had a long-planned bike trip to Vietnam — until disaster struck. In that case, her friends and relatives came to her rescue, rotating necessary shifts so she could get a break. (Call us Caretaker Caretakers.)
The men they love are still good company, but even socializing has become different, if not difficult. Primarily lawyers and writers, the husbands generally concede that they miss the influence they once wielded.
But none ran the country.
Which brings me to Jill Biden, who, many insist, needs to step in — or up — to the sad reality of living with an older man and one who is clearly faltering. Of course, we feel sorry for the falterers, but in truth, the wives deserve our sympathy too. No one can offer Jill a break, and it seems she doesn’t necessarily covet that. There is little doubt how much impact she has on her husband and how deep her love and loyalty go. (Don’t count on her showing up at George Clooney’s next premiere.)
The Hidden Power of First Ladies
History may or may not be with her. I don’t believe she has Edith Wilson-type ambitions. Wilson virtually took over Woodrow’s role rather than have his stroke-related condition revealed. Teddy Roosevelt’s female relatives (three sisters, a mother, and a pair of wives) were his most important advisors throughout his life. Of course, his cousin had arguably the most important First Lady in history. She may have helped hide FDR’s physical disabilities, but fortunately, he stayed mentally strong to the end.
Even Ronald Reagan, near the end of his term, was clearly losing words. Go back and watch Nancy, under her breath, cue him at one time. This could be an omen.
So the question is: Does Jill Biden owe more to the country at this time to prevent her husband’s further embarrassment, or worse?
Standing by Your (Old) Man: A First Lady Caretaker?
The good news (I think) is that humans are living longer. Walking neighborhood streets, so many older couples make me smile — and worry.
I couldn’t help one day taking a photo of a woman bending close to the ground to tie the shoe of her husband. President Biden does not need shoelace-tying — or does he? — and he has cared for us very well and for a long time. We shall see whether he can continue or whether he will allow himself to be taken care of. Dare we admit we need The First Caretaker?
“If Jill won’t let him, the Almighty must,” wrote political commentator Bill Press.
If you took a poll now of top choices to challenge Trump, number one would likely be former First Lady Michelle Obama. Jill, of course, got along wonderfully with her, but one has to wonder if her need to cling to the current job is just a tad bit based on envy.
But the current First Lady has been a role model herself: a teacher to the end, a life-changing second wife, and family icon (flying across the world and back to publicly support Hunter Biden, for instance).
Now, she could be a different kind of heroine.
Michele Willens is the author of From Mouseketeers to Menopause.
