These Are the Best Sex Toys for Couples, According to Experts

These Are the Best Sex Toys for Couples, According to Experts

Graphic by KCM

Some things are better enjoyed together. 

In any intimate relationship, it can be hard to decide on something that satisfies both parties — whether it’s what to watch on Netflix, what to order for dinner, or which sex toy you should use together in the bedroom. While we do have some movie and TV recommendations, right now, we’re talking about a different type of intimacy.

From vibrators to sex dice, handcuffs to wedge pillows, there’s no shortage of tools you can use to enhance both your and your partner’s pleasure. But, because there are so many options, it’s hard to know what could be best for you and yours.

We talked with Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., sexologist and relationship expert, to find out what works best when you want to incorporate a toy during sex that both of you can enjoy. While she agrees that accessories spice things up physically, talking about what toys you and your partner may enjoy also creates an open dialogue between the two of you. “It can be a reminder to slip out of your roles as co-parents or roommates and slip into your roles as lovers,” she says. 

Even if you’ve been with your partner for years, discussing the use of sex toys can bring you closer together, physically and emotionally. If you find you experience pain with penetration (either as a symptom of menopause or in general), some toys provide pleasure without penetration while still bringing you closer to your partner. And by the way, some couples find sex post-menopause can be more enjoyable. 

“Lifestyle shifts that tend to coincide with post-menopausal years (e.g. kids spending more time away from home, greater financial stability that results in less overall stress) can also lead to more exploration in (and out of) the bedroom,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “Many of my clients have discovered sex toys in their 50s and 60s, as they’ve had more time to dedicate to their intimate relationships and greater confidence expressing their desires to partners.” 

If you’re ready to explore with your partner this Valentine’s Day but don’t know where to start, don’t worry. Here are some expert-approved sex toys for couples.

Best Sex Toys for Couples 

We-Vibe Chorus

We-Vibe

Feel like incorporating a high-tech toy into your routine? “Toys specifically designed for couples, like the We-Vibe Chorus are perfect because they offer stimulation for both you and your partner,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “It can provide G-Spot, clitoris, and shaft stimulation. The Chorus is also adjustable, features touch-sensitive receptors, and offers custom vibrations through the We-Vibe app.”

$209 at we-vibe

Lelo Tiani 3

Lelo

Hands-free toys are amazing if you don’t want to be distracted by moving around or holding something while you and a partner are having sex. This toy by Lelo can be used as an internal and external vibrator during foreplay, but it can also be worn during penetrative sex. A small arm can be inserted into the vagina, holding the vibrating part over the clitoris and delivering vibrations to both areas. If your partner has a penis, they’ll feel the vibrations while entering you, too. Consider it double the fun.

$135 at lelo

plusOne Discreet Pleasure Vibrating Sex Toy

Is it a lipstick or a vibe? With the all-new Private Pleasure Vibe from plusOne, only you and your partner will know the answer to that. This vibrator is an easy way to add some excitement and intrigue to your relationship because it’s powerful yet discreet and doesn’t get in the way. The Private Pleasure Vibe has 10 vibration modes with a whisper-quiet motor so you can experience maximum personal pleasure. It comes in three different colors with a sleek privacy cover so it can travel with you or store incognito at home. And it’s fully waterproof, making it easy to clean and perfect for use in the shower or bath.*

$20 at amazon

Dame Hands-Free Bundle

Dame

Finding a position to hold a vibrator between yourself and your partner can be annoying, especially if you find your hands get in the way. This uniquely shaped toy from Dame uses two silicone arms that gently hug the labia so that the vibrator remains in place for clitoral stimulation. This set comes with the vibrator and a wedge pillow, which helps you reach new angles and positions with ease.

$195 at dame

MysteryVibe Poco Vibrator

MysteryVibe

There are several exciting things about this bendable vibrator, but we’ll start with what makes it amazing for couples: The vibrations can be controlled from afar by an app. That means you can add some spice to mutual play by giving your partner complete control of the toy’s vibration patterns and speeds, or you can have a long-distance partner control the settings so that you can enjoy each other even from miles apart.

For solo play, there are buttons to easily control the intensity and patterns of Poco, and it could easily be held against a clitoris, labia, or penis during penetrative sex to increase all the sensations. It bends in two different spots, so the configurations allow for easy reach, no matter your positioning.

$160 at MysteryVibe

Crave Bullet Vibrator

Amazon

If you and your partner prefer something that looks and feels luxe, this golden bullet vibrator is the perfect toy to incorporate. Despite being the size of a tube of lipstick, this tiny treasure delivers intense vibrations wherever you want them. It’s also completely waterproof, so it can even be used in the shower or tub without worry.

$99 at Amazon

Tracy’s Dog Wearable Panty Vibrator

Tracy’s Dog

Does the idea of giving up control get you excited? Sometimes the thought of not knowing what’s coming next can be just as arousing as crawling into bed with your special someone. This wearable vibrator slips inside your underwear to keep it in place for hands-free play, wherever you are. You can use the wireless controller yourself to change the vibration intensity and pattern, or you can hand it to your partner for a surprising ride.

$43 at Tracy’s Dog

Lovehoney Romp Juke Rechargable Cock Ring

Lovehoney

I love any toy you can easily add into your sexual routine without changing a thing,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “If you’re having sex with a penis, a simple vibrating ring is a great option. If you’re brand new to sex toys, consider the Romp Juke. It offers rumbly vibrations for both partners and its angles allow you to play in any position.”

$30 at lovehoney

Maude Burn Trio

Maude

We’re qualifying these candles as toys because they can actually be used during play. As the wax melts, it turns into a sumptuous massage oil that’s safe for the body. Sensual touch can be a great form of foreplay, but even if you don’t choose to use these candles for massages, you can still light them to set the mood.

$30+ at Maude

Pulse Lube Warming System

Pulse

This isn’t technically a toy, but it sure makes using one easier. Instead of fiddling with slippery bottles of lube, opt for this dispenser that keeps your bedside table clean and warms the lubricant for you. Simply place your hand under the arm of Pulse, and you’ll automatically be given a dose of warmed lubricant without having to interrupt the moment.

$149 at Pulse

Arcwave Voy

Arcwave

If your partner has a penis, using something like the Arcwave can introduce them to new sensations. It’s also great for those who experience pain with friction or squeezing sensations. “It can help you to learn to enjoy pleasure beyond the stroking or in-and-out motion,” Dr. O’Reilly says. It’s a cylinder-shaped toy that wraps around the penis seamlessly, applying constant, even pressure all over. It can be rotated, used in a stroking motion, or both at the same time for intense sensations.

$99 at arcwave

Le Wand Petite Massager

Le Wand

If you’re looking for a powerful toy that will last you a lifetime, this classic wand vibrator will do the trick. This one is a little smaller than the original model, but it has a long handle so you can easily grip it and control where the silicone head goes. The broad end sends vibrations to a larger surface area, making it fun for foreplay or for those who don’t enjoy direct clitoral stimulation.

$145 at le wand

Womanizer Premium 2

Womanizer

Instead of vibrations, the Womanizer toys stimulate the area around the clitoris with pulsating air. “They provide indirect stimulation around the head of the clitoris externally and you can adjust the intensity levels from the sensual to the powerful according to your liking,” Dr. O’Reilly says. This external-only tool is a treat for those who experience discomfort with penetration.

$199 at womanizer

Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace

Nordstrom

This is a toy you can hide in plain sight. Designed as a necklace, this bullet-style vibrator is an elegant, yet powerful, accessory. Made for external stimulation only, this sleek metal vibrator can deliver intense and targeted vibrations wherever you or your partner would like. You could wear it out on date night while thinking about all the ways you can use it later, creating a sense of anticipation for you and your partner.

$69+ at Nordstrom

* Denotes paid placement